The Ultimate Wedding Vows Guide: All Our Vow Resources in One Place!

Introducing AMM’s Complete Wedding Vows Guide: All our expert online resources in one super-easy-to-use megaguide, including FAQs and answers to all your wedding vow questions!

 

We’ve been writing wedding vow advice for eight years – since the launch of our “AMM American Weddings” blog in 2018. That’s a long time! We’ve covered everything from your basic “how to write wedding vows” tutorials to insanely specialized niche posts on pagan wedding vows, feminist wedding vows, and more. 

 

After so much time, a lot of our best advice can be easy for new readers to miss. That’s why we’re publishing this Complete Wedding Vows Guide, with all our expert resources rolled up into one super-easy-to-use megaguide.

 

As one of the most trusted places to get ordained online, and your go-to place for wedding officiant training and ceremony planning advice, we’re absolutely honored to help you take your marriage vows. Now, we’re making it easier to find the advice you need! 

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AMM’s Complete Wedding Vows Guide Online: 

Your Vow Writing & Vow Taking MEGAGUIDE, with Helpful FAQs & Expert Advice

 

Want to take your vows offline with a printed resource? Order our comprehensive paperback book of wedding vows & scripts: 

 

► The Book of Wedding Vows and Ceremonies

 

 

SECTION ONE: The Basics! What ARE Wedding Vows, Anyway? (& Do You Even Need Them?)

 

What are wedding vows? 

Wedding vows are the sincere promises a couple makes to each other during their marriage ceremony. Vows can also be called an “oath” or "pledge" of love and commitment. As one example, “I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my spouse. I promise to cherish you every day, to make you laugh, and to treat you with kindness.”

 

Wedding vows can be traditional and formal, funny and modern, spiritual or religious, and anything in between. All that matters is that they come straight from your heart!

Some couples consider the wedding’s “declaration of intent” to be their vows. This is when the wedding officiant says, “do you take this person to be your spouse,” and each person answers, “I do!”

 

What do wedding vows mean?

 

Wedding vows mean different things to different people. We’re not saying this to avoid answering – it’s just true! The “meaning” of these wedding-day promises really depends on the couple’s personalities, their shared values, and what they feel comfortable sharing publicly during the ceremony. (That’s why some couples exchange vows in private in addition to their public vows.)

 

For example, many Christian couples consider wedding vows to be a covenant between each other and God, while a nonreligious couple might see their wedding vows as a public ‘love letter’ ceremony – their chance to tell their partner how much they mean to them on the wedding day. Other couples treat wedding vows as earnest promises for the future; affirmations of love and commitment; community and family pledges; spiritual pacts with their partners; or even spell casting rituals. 

 

Do you have to have vows at a wedding?

 

No, you don’t have to have wedding vows in your wedding ceremony. These promises are totally optional. However, you DO need a “declaration of intent” – which is the verbal confirmation that you want to get married. Your wedding officiant will ask you if you want to get married (the wording can vary), and you will answer in the affirmative (either ‘I do,’ ‘I will,’ ‘we do,’ or similar). 

 

Many people are unsure about the difference between wedding vows and the declaration of intent. That’s because in the past, most traditional wedding ceremonies only included the declaration of intent, not personalized vows – so couples are used to thinking about this declaration as ‘vows.’ It’s also confusing because we still sometimes refer to this declaration as “I Do vows.” But this is an important legal distinction to remember in modern weddings: the declaration of intent (the ‘I do’s) serves a specific legal purpose, while personalized wedding vows do not.

 

Check out these online resources for more information on what wedding vows are (and aren’t), plus training tips for wedding officiants:

 

• Declaration of Intent vs Vows (When Wedding Wording Counts)
• Watch instead: Declaration of Intent vs Vows Video 
• The Declaration of Intent Explained (Minister Questions ‘I Do’ Vows Explained)

 

Are wedding vows necessary? Personal wedding vows aren’t necessary to make a marriage ceremony legally binding, but you must include a spoken ‘declaration of intent’ exchange with your wedding officiant. In religious marriage ceremonies, wedding vows may be considered an essential part of the ritual, serving as a covenant between a couple and their god, but this will vary by faith and is not a legal necessity. (Photo, cropped: Stacey Vandas / Unsplash)

 

 

SECTION TWO: How to Format Wedding Vows (4 Common Types of Wedding Vows)

 

There are several popular types or formats of wedding vows, and they are probably familiar to you already – even if you don’t know it yet! These vow styles include: 

 

Format 1: Repeat After Me Wedding Vows

 

“Repeat after me” wedding vows are one of the most common styles to include in a ceremony. The wedding officiant will instruct you to repeat each line of your vows, one at a time, making it easy for you to remember what to say. For example: “Repeat after me: I, Chris, promise to cherish thee, Tom…”

 

This can be a good choice for couples with social anxiety and wedding-day jitters, or those who don’t want the extra pressure of writing and reciting personal vows in their own words. 

 

Format 2: “Do you” Question Wedding Vows 

 

You’ve definitely heard this in a wedding ceremony, when an officiant asks, “Do you take this man” (or woman, or person), “to be your spouse.” The wording might change, but the sentiment is the same – ‘do you want to marry this person?’ – followed by a yes or no. (Usually a yes!)

 

This traditional “I do” vows exchange between the officiant and the couple is actually called a ‘Declaration of Intent,’ which we talked about in Section One. The Declaration of Intent is a required part of marriage ceremonies in most states, although the wording is up to you. 

 

Format 3: Handwritten Personalized Wedding Vows

 

It’s very common to write your own personalized wedding vows these days. Modern couples have fully embraced unique and nontraditional wedding trends, including writing personal vows that are authentic, intentional, and that honor special moments from their lives together. This type of vow doesn’t follow any set format or length, and can be anything you want it to be – even an original song or poem. 

 

Head to the next section (Section Three) for advice on how to write your wedding vows for a personalized ceremony. 

 

Format 4: Conversational Alternating Wedding Vows

 

The last common type of wedding vows are conversational alternating-lines vow exchanges, or back-and-forth wedding vows. In this format, couples will take turns reading a line of vows to each other, back and forth, alternating promises as if they are having a loving conversation in front of their guests. 

 

For example, Partner 1: “You make me feel seen, cared for, and appreciated in a way that I didn’t know was possible.” Partner 2: “It has been so meaningful and fun for me, watching you chase your dreams the past two years, and to be the person you tell each victory and milestone to. You make me feel loved and safe, and completely supported and valued.” Partner 1: “I promise to tell you the truth, to be kind, to be patient.” And so on! 

 

Read more about these four common wedding vows formats in AMM’s online Wedding Officiant Training center: 

 

• Including Vows In The Wedding Ceremony

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(Photo: Micah & Sammie Chaffin / Unsplash)

 

SECTION THREE: How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows (Simple methods & techniques we love)

Writing your own wedding vows can make the wedding ceremony feel more personal and authentically “you” than traditional repeat-after-me vows do – because they are you! Written vows are delivered in your own words and talk about what matters most to you. And because the wording actually sounds like you, they’re often more meaningful to listen to for your partner and guests. 

 

Here are our popular vow writing guides and resources to help you get started:

 

• How to Write Wedding Vows Using the Three Question Template
• How to Write Funny Wedding Vows (5 Tips for Bringing Humor Into Your Ceremony)
• How To Include the 5 Love Languages in Your Wedding Vows
• Mad Libs Inspired Wedding Vows For the Couple Who Loves to (verb) Together
• Blue & White Vows Booklet Set with Vow Writing Prompts Inside
• Colorful Flowers Vows Booklet Set with Vow Writing Prompts Inside

 

 

(Photo: pixdeluxe / iStock)

 

 

SECTION FOUR: When Are the Wedding Vows Exchanged? (Ceremony Timing & Intimate Alternatives)

 

Now that you have a few ideas of the types of wedding vows you want, let’s take a look at when to exchange your vows during the wedding.  

 

When are wedding vows in the traditional wedding ceremony order?  

 

In general, wedding vows come after the declaration of intent and before (or at the same time as) the wedding ring exchange and unity ceremony (if you decide to have one). The simplest ceremony order is: procession, invocation, declaration of intent, vows exchange, rings exchange, closing words, pronouncement, recession. 

 

Take a closer look here at wedding ceremony order & vows placement here:

 

• Wedding Ceremony Outline & Order : Understanding the Parts of a Wedding Ceremony
• How to Structure Vows Within a Wedding Ceremony
• For Wedding Officiants: The Vows Exchange Explained
• Exchanging vows *before* the wedding ceremony
• Singing Your Wedding Vows - How to Add Music to the Heart of Your Ceremony

Can you share your vows before the wedding?

 

Yes, you can definitely share your vows before the wedding! This has been an emerging trend in recent years actually, with an increasing number of couples exchanging personal vows in private before the formal wedding ceremony. Because a legal marriage ceremony doesn’t require wedding vows, you can speak your vows to each other at any time – before or after your wedding. 

 

Sharing vows before the wedding is common in some other cultures too, including the Nikah ceremony at Islamic weddings and the Jewish ketubah signing ceremony.

 

• Exchanging vows *before* the wedding ceremony
• 10 Introvert Weddi  ng Trends for Shy Brides, Grooms, & Nonbinary Baes

 

 

Who goes first in the wedding vows?

 

It depends! This question, “Who says vows first in a wedding?,” is often related to traditional and religious weddings, in which the groom always speaks his vows first, followed by the bride’s vows. 

 

But for many LGBTQ+ couples, modern, or nonreligious couples, the answer comes down to “who wants to go first?” We’ve seen couples make this a funny wedding moment by playing rock-paper-scissors, flipping a coin, or taking a shot (one alcoholic, one not) to decide who reads their vows first during the ceremony.

 

 

(Photo: FG Trade Latin / iStock)

 

SECTION FIVE: Wedding Vows Examples & Samples

 

If you’ve decided to write your own personalized wedding vows, this section is for you! We’ve written dozens of sample vows over the years, with inspiring examples for every kind of wedding, elopement, or vow renewal ceremony you could dream up. Click through religious and spiritual wedding vow examples, multicultural and values-based vows, and even some sweet and funny wedding vows from movies and tv! 

 

How to choose your wedding vows:

 

As you dig into all these examples, remember that the best wedding vows are the authentic kind – the promises that sound and feel like you. Your vows should reflect you and your partner’s values, personalities, sense of humor, relationship dynamic, or hopes for the future – no one else’s! 

 

If you’re really stuck on what to say, we recommend starting with a wedding vow prompts booklet to get the creativity flowing. Then, read the sample vows below, choose your favorites, and personalize them to make them sound and feel like you. 

 

How to choose your wedding vows:
 

• Use a wedding vows prompt booklet to get your creativity flowing
• Read the sample vows linked below
• Bookmark your favorite examples (or copy them into a single document for later)
• Revise and personalize these examples using answers from your vows prompt booklet to make them sound and feel like you

 

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Religious & Spiritual Wedding Vows Examples

 

• Muslim Wedding Vows Inspired by Quran Verses on Love & Marriage
• Muslim Nikah Ceremony "I Accept" Vows
• Modern Jewish Wedding Vows (from Wedding Script)
• Buddhist Wedding Vows (from Wedding Script)
• Hindu Wedding Vows (short introduction to vow themes)
• Taoist Wedding Vows (from Wedding Script)
• 5 Meaningful Examples of Christian Wedding Vows
• 5 Examples of Heartfelt Marriage Vows Before God for a Christian Wedding
• Protestant Wedding Vows (from a Protestant Wedding Script)
• Wiccan Wedding Spell – A Handfasting Love Spell
• Spiritual Wedding Vows (Spiritual but Not Religious vows from Wedding Script)

 

Cultural / Multicultural Wedding Vows Examples

 

• Native American Wedding Vows & Readings
• Chinese Wedding Vows (中式婚礼誓词（选自《婚礼仪式脚本》))
• Celtic Wedding Vows (from Wedding Script)
• Viking Wedding Vows: Traditional & Modern Ways to Say SKAL! To Love
• ASL Wedding Vows (from Wedding Ceremony in American Sign Language)
• Feminist Wedding Vows: Creative Examples to Help You Write Your Own
• Sample Vows for Polyamorous Wedding & Commitment Ceremonies

 

Modern & Non-Religious Wedding Vow Examples

 

• The Book of Wedding Vows & Ceremonies
• Atheist Wedding Vows: Sample Vows for a Non-Religious Marriage Ceremony
• Funny Wedding Vows (from Lighthearted Wedding Script)
• ‘Marriage of Equals’ Wedding Vows (from Wedding Script)
• Classic Traditional Wedding Vows (That Will Make Everyone at Your Ceremony Happy Cry)
• Add These Sweet Promises to Your Wedding Vows
• 12 Examples of Wedding Vows for Her
• 12 Examples of Wedding Vows for Him
• 10 Sweet Vow Examples for Your Vow Renewal Ceremony

 

Sample Wedding Vows in Spanish: Ejemplo de votos matrimoniales

 

• Funny Wedding Vows in Spanish: Votos matrimoniales divertidos (del guion de la boda)
• Spiritual Wedding Vows in Spanish: Votos matrimoniales espirituales (del guion de la boda)
• Romantic Wedding Vows in Spanish: Votos matrimoniales románticos (del guion de la boda)
• Christian Wedding Vows in Spanish: Votos matrimoniales cristianos (del guion de la boda)
• 5 Ejemplos Significativos de Votos Matrimoniales Cristianos
• Añada Estas Dulces Promesas a sus Votos Matrimoniales
• Ejemplos de Votos para Bodas Poliamorosas y Ceremonias de Compromiso
• Bilingual Wedding Vows (Spanish & English, from Wedding Script)
• 10 Ejemplos de Votos para su Ceremonia de Renovación de Votos

 

Wedding Vows From Movies, TV, and Music

 

• May the Force be with You (in Matrimony): Star Wars Wedding Vows
• Victor’s Wedding Vows From Corpse Bride
• Wedding Vows from When Harry Met Sally
• Monica and Chandler’s Wedding Vows & Ceremony Script from the Friends Episode We Can’t Forget
• Mia's Vows to Lance in The Best Man
• Jack & Sally Inspired Wedding Vows from The Nightmare Before Christmas
• Lucky to Love You: 10 Song Lyrics to Inspire Your Wedding Vows
• Give Your Wedding a 1960s Pop Infusion with These 10 Songs & Lyrics
• The Cure’s Best Love Song Lyrics for Your Wedding Vows or Ceremony Script

 

Seasonal Wedding Vow Examples

 

• New Year’s Eve Wedding Vows (from Wedding Script)
• Halloween Themed Wedding Vows for a Fun, Spooky, & Seasonal Ceremony
• Spring Equinox Wedding Vows (from Wedding Script)
• Fall / Autumn Wedding Vows (from Wedding Script)

 

 

SECTION SIX: More FAQs & Legal Information

 

Below, we answer a few more frequently asked questions about marriage vows, including the legal aspects of your wedding ceremony. This isn’t legal advice - it’s only meant to be educational and may vary in your state - so we recommend you contact an attorney if you have detailed marriage law questions.

 

Are there legal requirements for the wording of your wedding? 

 

Yes and no: Yes, some parts of a marriage ceremony are legally required, including the Declaration of Intent and the Pronouncement, but the exact wording is up to you – as long as the intent and meaning is clear and intentional. Personalized vows aren’t legally necessary, as mentioned earlier. We cover this in more detail in these resources: 

 

• Is There a Legal Form to a Wedding Ceremony?
• Are there legal wording requirements in a wedding ceremony?
• Watch instead: Are there legal wording requirements in a wedding ceremony? Video

 

 

Are wedding vows legally binding?

 

No: Your marriage ceremony is legally binding if it’s performed by an authorized wedding officiant and/or in accordance with the marriage laws in your state (including purchasing and filing a valid marriage license). However, your personalized spoken wedding vows aren’t legally binding in the same way that a marriage license is – instead, your vows are personal promises you make to your partner. 

 

If you and your partner want to make unique promises to each other and have them hold up in court (like promises to take out the trash or to manage your finances in a specific way), you might want to create a “prenuptial agreement” with the help of an attorney. 

 

Learn more about marriage prenups by clicking the links below: 

 

• Should Your Friends & Parents Write Your Prenup Agreement?
• 3 Reasons to Throw a Prenup Party Before Your Wedding

 

 

Do people usually recite the same wedding vows?

 

You and your partner don’t have to say the same vows to each other unless you want to. Some couples love the familiarity of reciting the same traditional marriage vows to each other, making equal promises to love, cherish, and honor each other until “death do us part.” But many modern couples prefer to make unique, personalized promises to each other instead, choosing their own words to reflect individual values and personalities. There’s no right or wrong choice – both options are incredibly moving and beautiful to witness when they are heartfelt and honest. 

 

 

Should you have someone proofread wedding vows?

Yes! We suggest having someone you trust proofread your wedding vows before the ceremony. This isn’t to critique or correct your vows, but to make sure they’re exactly what you want to communicate to your beloved partner on the wedding day. 

 

We also recommend letting your wedding officiant proofread your vows, especially if you plan to surprise your partner with special vows during the ceremony. Your officiant can let you know if you and your partner’s written vows are a good match in terms of overall length and vibe – this is super helpful for ceremony timing and tone! Check out the following article for more information: 

 

• Officiants: Ask to Review a Couple’s Written Vows Before the Wedding Ceremony

 

 

How long should wedding vows be? 

 

• How Long Should Wedding Vows Be? Try This!
• Listen Instead: How Long Should Wedding Vows Be? Try This! Audio Article

 

 

Using ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, and other AI to write wedding vows? 

 

• How to Write a Great ChatGPT Prompt for Wedding Vows
• Should You Use an A.I. Chatbot to Write Your Wedding Vows or Wedding Toast?
• Watch Instead: Should You Use an A.I. Chatbot to Write Your Wedding Vows or Wedding Toast? Video 

 

 

Do you say vows at a courthouse wedding?

 

Many, or even most, courthouses and city halls will let you say your own vows during the ceremony. It’s best to let the official marrying you know ahead of time, so that they can pause at the appropriate moment.

 

Still, we can’t help but point out that a private elopement or wedding ceremony that’s officiated by a friend can be just as easy as a city hall wedding – and million times more intimate! Click the links below to see why we love eloping vs. courthouse weddings. 

 

Elope or courthouse?

 

• Courthouse Wedding vs Sign and Go Wedding: Comparing the Benefits
• Fun Alternatives to a Courthouse Wedding (No Hassle Marriage Ceremony)

 

 

Where did wedding vows come from?

 

The traditional marriage vows most Americans recognize today originated in medieval weddings, which were then put into familiar English and published in The Book of Common Prayer in the mid-1500s. We actually have one of the earliest remaining versions of this wedding ceremony script in our Ceremony Script Library! Click the link below to see how similar the original wedding vows are to today’s language:

 

• The Book of Common Prayer 1552 Christian Wedding Ceremony Script

 

 

What do common words in wedding vows mean? 

 

Great question – and a common one! Here are simple definitions for the most frequently searched words in traditional vows:

 

What does the word cherish mean in wedding vows?

 

In wedding vows, the word “cherish” means to hold them in deep affection, and to treat them in a tender, nurturing, and supportive way. It’s a deep admiration and care that goes beyond simple romantic “love;” it’s finding deep joy in who they are as a person, and a lasting and constant appreciation for who they truly are.

 

What is a troth in wedding vows?

“Troth” is a wedding vow deep cut! This old-fashioned word has been used since the 1500s and means “pledge,” “vow,” or “promise.” In medieval weddings, couples would say, “And thereto I plight thee my troth,” which means (loosely), “I give you my solemn promise” of faithfulness in marriage.

 

What does forsake mean in wedding vows?

 

In wedding vows, “forsaking all others” means (loosely) “to go without” or “forfeit” any other romantic or sexual partner. This is a vow of monogamy and fidelity in marriage, made between two people who value faithfulness to their partner for as long as they’re married. This word is most commonly used in traditional, formal, and Christian wedding vows. 

 

 

When do you renew your wedding vows?

 

• When Should You Renew Your Wedding Vows? Consider These 3 Things

 

 

How to renew wedding vows? 

 

There are so many beautiful, meaningful, personal ways to renew your wedding vows! This could be an entire guide on its own, but here are our top resources for a marriage renewal ceremony and vow exchange! 

 

• "We Still Do..." Vow Renewal Package (a sweet gift box / planning kit of vow renewal resources)
• Everything You Need to Know About a Vow Renewal Ceremony
• 10 Sweet Vow Examples for Your Vow Renewal Ceremony
• Vow Renewal after Transitioning: Celebrate a New Chapter in Your Marriage
• Vow Renewal Ceremony Script for Wedding Anniversary

 

 

(Photo: Jim Nyamao / Unsplash)

 

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The Book of Wedding Vows and Ceremonies 

Inspiration for Couples and Officiants

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Why sift through thousands of online ceremony scripts when you can hold the best ones right in your own hands? The Book of Wedding Vows and Ceremonies 

was written after thousands of hours of research and real-world practice. These wedding scripts have proven their effectiveness over and over again, and now, whether you're a couple working on your vows, or a wedding officiant in search of ceremony inspiration, this book is a must have. Laid out in an easy to browse format, this book is a joy to read and use for every wedding occasion.

 

Make wedding planning easier with this comprehensive paperback guide book.

 

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American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We're a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expires.

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