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Published: Tuesday, Oct. 12th, 2021

Feminist Wedding Vows: Creative Examples to Help You Write Your Own

Feminist wedding vows are all about emphasizing equal partnership in marriage, and defying the gender norms and antiquated expectations that the institution of marriage can bring to mind. 

 

When deciding on which vows to include in your ceremony, think about the ways your relationship breaks with these gender conventions. 

 

In what ways are your relationship and daily life unique, nontraditional, intentionally balanced, and equal? How do you and your partner talk to each other, spend time together, and support each other, as equals? This might be as simple as sharing household chores and responsibilities, or being open with your emotions. 

 

Then, write these things down! 

 

If there are specific examples or moments that come to mind, that you know will make your partner swoon, be sure to add these to your vows to personalize them. 

 

These stories will give your guests (as well as your sweetheart!) insight into what you value most about your relationship and will create a more intimate ceremony. 

 

Feminist wedding vows can be gender neutral, or they can celebrate and embrace different genders in an inclusive way. This is entirely up to the couple! 

 

Below, you’ll find several examples of marriage vows, along with a basic template to follow. Use them ‘as is’ or modify them to create your own custom vows. 

 


Visit AMM’s Wedding Ceremony Script Library to see full sample wedding scripts.

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Feminist Wedding Vow Template with Examples

 

 

  • Begin with: 

 

 “(Name of partner), … ” 

 

 

  • If you wish, you can add:

 

“... I take you as my (husband, wife, partner, equal in life and love…)”

 

 

  • Then make it personal by highlighting what you value most. A few examples:  

 

Celebrate and support: 

 

“I promise to celebrate and support the person you are, have been, and hope to be, every step of the way on our journey through this life together.”


Meet halfway: 

 

“I promise to always meet you halfway and to share in life’s joys and burdens with you as equals -- whether we’re just cooking dinner or out saving the world.” 


Joy in discovery: 

 

“Even after all this time, I still discover new and wonderful things about you everyday, that make me remember how lucky I am to spend my life with such an interesting, beautiful, capable, and intelligent person. I promise to always keep learning new things about you!”


Love in action: 

 

“I vow to treat you with respect and kindness and to show my love in actions, not just words. To hold you close, to make late night runs to the store for chocolate and wine, to spend time in the kitchen with you, to brainstorm and budget with you, and to always find time for us to laugh and play together.”


Independence: 

 

“One of the things I fell in love with first was your fierce independence, your ambition, and your strength. I promise to support you fully in each new adventure you begin, as your partner and friend.” 


Space to grow: 

 

“I promise to love you just as you are, even when I don’t understand you. I promise to enter each disagreement with patience, kindness, and sincerity, and to give us both the space we need to grow separately and together.”


Standing strong: 

 

“I vow to walk alongside you. To make this world, and our world, a brighter place with you. To call out injustice wherever I find it. To stand tall beside you in a world that tries to make us shrink. And to always, always, believe in you, and the strength of your heart, spirit, and mind.”


A happy household: 

 

“I promise to take out the trash, wash the dishes, tuck our two littles into bed, and sit down to dinners with you after each long day. These might sound like trivial or ordinary things to some people, but to be able to do them as part of our life together feels extraordinary to me. I love you endlessly.”


Whatever life brings: 

 

“I can’t promise life will be perfect or easy, but I can promise that whatever it brings, I’ll be right here beside you.”

 

 

  • Next, share a personal story: 

 

Ready for something real: 

 

“When we first met, you told me you were tired of bullshit and ready for something real. Well, my love, we’ve built something more real, and more authentic than anything I could have possibly dreamed up!” 

 

Conversation in the park: 

 

“In a world with 8 billion people, it’s still rare to meet someone who will take the time to see us as we really are. And yet, with you, I felt from those first days -- when you sat with me in the courtyard just talking about everything and anything, movies, childhoods, classes -- that you really saw me. And I feel every day that you still see me. And that you love me, just as I am.”

 

Sports fans in love: 

 

“I never dreamed I’d meet someone who loves baseball as much as I do. And I know that over time, you’ll learn to root for the right team… But no matter how long that takes, or what challenges we face along the way, I know you’re the one for me babe, and I love you forever. We are the perfect team, you and me.” 

 

 

  • Last, end with a statement of love and nod to the future: 

 

“I love you (Name of Partner), and I can’t wait to see where life takes us.”

 

 


 

Need more vow inspiration? 

 

Diane Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows

 

 

Product photo of Diana Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows, with a close up image of a couple's hands during a ring exchange in a ceremony.

This bestselling book helps you prepare and personalize your vows with inspiration from a wide variety of traditional wedding vows from countries and cultures around the world, and hundreds of personalized, non traditional vows for all types of weddings including second marriages, marriages for older couples, ceremonies of reaffirmation or vow renewals, and weddings involving children from previous marriages.

 

 

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