Lighthearted Wedding Ceremony Script with Funny Reading on Marriage

• Guests take their seats, if available. If this is an outdoor ceremony, guests can stand in a semi-circle.

Unplugged Statement 

Officiant to guests

Hello everyone! On behalf of (Partner A) and (Partner B), we ask that you put your cameras and phones away during the ceremony. (Partner A) and (Partner B) want you be truly present as they share their best day ever with you. Plus, there may be a pop quiz after the ceremony, so you should really pay attention during the whole thing!

Procession / processional

• Best Man and Maid of Honor (or Best Persons) take their places at the arbor/ alter. (Partner B) walks down the aisle (or outdoor path) to join the officiant and (Partner A) at the arbor.

Invocation

Officiant To guests

Welcome, loved ones. We gather on this joyful occasion to celebrate love, laughter, and light on (Partner A) and (Partner B)’s wedding day. 
 
Each of you here represents a piece of (Partner A)’s and (Partner B)’s lives. Whether you came into their lives years ago, or more recently, your presence here is a gift to them – and I know it means a lot to them. Thank you for being here!
 
Before we begin today’s celebration, I have just one question for our family & friends, that I’d like for you to answer loudly and proudly: Are we ready to get these two married?! 

• guests respond "yes!" and cheer

 Officiant to the Couple

(Partner A) and (Partner B), today, your lives blend seamlessly together and you’re about to embark on the greatest of adventures. A new path is ahead of you, and to navigate it well, there are skills to be learned and practiced daily.

Wilferd Arlan Peterson's “The Art of a Good Marriage” reminds us that a good marriage doesn’t just happen, one must be created. In marriage, the little things are the big things; like never being too old to hold hands – and remembering to say, “I love you,” at least once a day. It also takes patience, kindness… and fighting the urge to snarkily respond when it’s best to keep your mouth zipped.

On that note, a good marriage sometimes takes a really good sense of humor... as the following reading reminds us. 

Reading

• "Marriage" - by Anonymous

"Marriage is about giving and taking
And forging and forsaking
Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving
Caring and sharing and screaming and swearing
About being together whatever the weather
About being driven to the end of your tether
About sweetness and kindness
And wisdom and blindness  
It’s about being strong when you’re feeling quite weak
It’s about saying nothing when you’re dying to speak
It’s about being wrong when you know you are right
It’s about giving in, before there’s a fight
It’s about you two living as cheaply as one
(you can give us a call if you know how that’s done!)  
Never heeding advice that was always well-meant
Never counting the cost until it’s all spent
And for you two today it’s about to begin
And for all that the two of you had to put in
Some days filled with joy, and some days with sadness
Too late you’ll discover that marriage is madness."

Declaration of Intent 

Officiant to the couple

With this wisdom – and your love - in mind, I now ask you:

Officiant to Partner A

(Partner A), do you welcome (Partner B) to be your (wife/ husband/ spouse), and your cherished best friend?

• Partner A responds in the affirmative.

Officiant to Partner B

Do you welcome (Partner A) to be your (husband/ wife/ spouse), and your cherished best friend?

• Partner B responds in the affirmative. 

Exchange of Vows 

Officiant to the couple

Before you pledge your vows to one another, let’s pause for a moment and take in the beauty that surrounds us here. Take a look at your guests and feel their love for you – as well as the love you have for each other. 
 
Please look into each other’s eyes as you share your promises to each other. 
 
Officiant to partner A

• The officiant turns to Partner A, who repeats each portion of vows after it's read

I promise to share the covers, leave the toilet seat down, and not throw my dirty socks everywhere. Most of all, I vow to never stop playing with you – to love you as my best friend, lover, and partner in life. 

• Partner A repeats each portion

 Officiant to partner B

• The officiant turns to Partner B, who repeats each portion of vows after it's read

"I promise to not tell you how to drive, to cherish you, but not obey - because that’s a little creepy. Most of all, I vow to never stop playing with you – to love you as my best friend, lover, and partner in life." 

• Partner B repeats each portion

 

+ For more help writing funny vows: 

How to Write Funny Wedding Vows (5 Tips for Bringing Humor Into Your Ceremony)

Ring Exchange

• optional : a separate ring exchange is optional. Rings can be exchanged during a couple’s Vows (above), or after the vows (below). The couple may also choose to exchange gifts rather than rings, or to omit the ring exchange altogether. 

Officiant to Partner A 

Please place this ring on Partner B’s finger and repeat after me:

This ring is a token of my love for you. Let it remind you that you’re always in my heart. 

• Partner A repeats the lines.

Officiant to Partner B

Please place this ring on Partner A’s finger and repeat after me:

This ring is a token of my love for you. Let it remind you that you’re always in my heart. 

• Partner B repeats the lines.

Pronouncement

Officiant to the couple

(Partner A) and (Partner B), by the love that has brought you here today, by the vows and rings you have exchanged in the presence of your loved ones, it is my delight and honor to pronounce you married!  
 
You may seal your marriage with a kiss!

• The couple kisses, guests applaud and cheer

Presentation of the newlyweds

Officiant to guests

Family and friends, it is my pleasure to present to you for the first time as newlyweds, (Name of Couple as they wish to be introduced). 

Recession

• The ceremony ends