Funny Shotgun Wedding Ceremony Script

PROCESSIONAL

• GUESTS ARE SEATED.

INVOCATION

OFFICIANT TO THE RECEPTION

"Family and Friends, Thank you all for coming today to share in this wonderful occasion. Today we are here together to unite [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] in marriage.

As you can see, [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] couldn’t wait – uh, can’t wait to start their new life together. Theirs is a love that can’t be hidden, no matter how much fabric you use! 

They say that a true marriage starts long before the wedding day, and that the efforts of marriage continue long after the ceremony ends… at least 18 years, I’d guess. 

But in all seriousness, it’s rare to see two people as in love and as devoted to each other as  [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] are. These beautiful souls are meant to be together, true soul mates. Their love, and their family, have unfolded in perfect time (alt: on God’s time). 

[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B], we are overjoyed to see you take your vows of marriage and continue building your life together. 

If anyone objects to this marriage – well, I’d suggest you keep it to yourself. Pregnancy hormones are no joke, and you do not want to go there. Take my word for it. 

DECLARATION OF INTENT & FUNNY VOWS

OFFICIANT TO PARTNER A

"Do you [PARTNER A], take this gorgeous woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, to support her dreams and take turns feeding the baby at night, and to cherish her from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?"

PARTNER A TO PARTNER B

"I do."

OFFICIANT TO PARTNER B

"Do you [PARTNER B] take this handsome man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, to buy him ‘Number 1 Dad’ mugs and laugh at his dad jokes, and to cherish him from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?"

PARTNER B TO PARTNER A

"I do."

EXCHANGE OF WEDDING RINGS / WEDDING BANDS

OFFICIANT TO THE RECEPTION

"[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] have chosen rings to exchange with each other as a symbol of their unending love."

OFFICIANT TO PARTNER A

"[PARTNER A], as you place this ring on [PARTNER B]'s finger, please repeat after me. With this ring, I marry you, and pledge you my love, now and forever."

• PARTNER A REPEATS THE PHRASE AS THEY PLACE THE RING ON PARTNER B'S FINGER.

OFFICIANT TO PARTNER B

"[PARTNER B], as you place this ring on [PARTNER A]'s finger, please repeat after me. With this ring, I marry you, and pledge you my love, now and forever."

• PARTNER B REPEATS THE PHRASE AS THEY PLACE THE RING ON PARTNER A'S FINGER.

 

♦ Want to include personal written vows? Use these Sample Wedding Vows to get started! 

SWEET (NON ALCOHOLIC) UNITY TOAST / UNITY SHOTS WITH GUEST PARTICIPATION

OFFICIANT TO THE RECEPTION

"Before I make this thing official,  [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B] will share in a symbolic unity toast. Like their vows and rings, this toast represents promises for the future, and they want all of you to join in the fun. 

Guests, you each have a little bottle of bubbly under your seat for the occasion [PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B], grab your glasses – sparkling cider for you. 

OFFICIANT TO THE COUPLE

[PARTNER A] and [PARTNER B], with this toast, you promise to always play together, laugh together, and roll with the surprises as they come. To grow, dream big, and find the fun in every day. You promise to lean on your friends and family when you need them, and to accept all hand-me-downs, even the weird ones. This might be the last party you’ll be at for a while, unless you can get (Judy over there) to babysit… So let's make this toast count! 

Cheers! 

• Everyone drinks to the toast

PRONOUNCEMENT

OFFICIANT TO THE RECEPTION

"By the authority vested in me by the State of [WEDDING STATE] and the prestigious internet-church American Marriage Ministries, I now pronounce you (Husband and Wife / Spouses for Life / Married / etc.}.

You may now kiss the bride!" (alt: You may now kiss each other!)

RECESSIONAL

• End of the Wedding Ceremony.