Heartfelt Self Uniting Marriage Ceremony Script

Heartfelt Self Uniting Marriage Ceremony Script

PROCESSION / PROCESSIONAL

Guests are seated in a circle around 2 chairs. The couple enters and takes their seats. They can enter alone, or be escorted by parents, grandparents, close friends, etc.

OPENING WORDS / COUPLE’S WELCOME

PARTNER A

Thank you all so much for being with us today as we celebrate our marriage! We know many of you traveled a long way, wrangled kids and pets, took time off work, and navigated trains, planes, and automobiles to make it here, and we are absolutely honored to have you sitting beside us. We couldn’t have made it to this special day without you, and it means so much to be able to celebrate it with you. 

PARTNER B

This ceremony will probably be different than you’re used to – but we’re a little different too! And that’s why you love us. So thank you so much for being up for anything, and for participating in this special moment. One of the things that first clicked between PARTNER A and I was our connection to families and friends. You guys bring us so much joy. 

We’ve asked a few of you to stand and read some of the words about marriage that really resonate with us. We knew from the beginning that we were a match, that we’d found someone to call home. But it wasn’t until we started talking about what marriage meant to us that we knew we’d found a partner for life.

WORDS ON MARRIAGE / READINGS

• ADD MORE READINGS / POEMS / SONG HERE – AS MANY AS YOU LIKE! THE 2 SELECTIONS HERE ARE PROVIDED TO INSPIRE YOU. THE FIRST IS AN EXCERPT FROM ‘LETTERS FROM A YOUNG POET’ BY RAINER MARIA RILKE. THE SECOND READING IS AN EXCERPT FROM AN ESSAY WRITTEN FOR VOGUE MAGAZINE BY HARPER LEE.

GUEST / FRIEND A

To (PARTNER A) and (PARTNER B), marriage isn’t about becoming one. Instead, it is two individual people, whole and wonderful, coming together to protect and cherish each other. Rainer Maria Rilke wrote:

“We are only just now beginning to look upon the relation of one individual person to a second individual objectively and without prejudice…

This advance will…change the love-experience, which is now full of error, will alter it from the ground up, reshape it into a relation that is meant to be of one human being to another, no longer of man to woman. And this more human love (that will fulfill itself, infinitely considerate and gentle, and kind and clear in binding and releasing) will resemble that which we are preparing with struggle and toil, the love that consists in this, that two solitudes protect and border and salute each other.” (R.M.Rilke)

GUEST / FRIEND B

You believe that love is eternal and ubiquitous – in everyone, in everything, inseparable from existence, but infinite in its manifestations. Marriage is a home built of love, and you started building it the moment you met. Harper Lee wrote:

“There is only one kind of love--love. But the different manifestations of love are uncountable…These are manifestations of a power within us that must of necessity be called divine, for it is no invention of man…

all of us at one time or another – be it for an instant or for our lives – have departed from ourselves: we have loved something or someone. Love, then, is a paradox: to have it, we must give it. Love is not an intransitive thing – love is a direct action of mind and body…

As one holds down a cork to the bottom of a stream, so may love be imprisoned by self: remove self, and love rises to the surface of man's being… 

With love, all things are possible” (Harper Lee)

GROUP VOWS / COMMUNITY VOWS

PARTNER A

Today we’re making vows to each other, but marriage is more than just me and (PARTNER B) hanging out at home playing video games and kissing. We really like to do that – but we also need all of you in our lives, supporting us, making art with us, laughing with us, and sharing your lives with us! You’re our family!  

PARTNER B

So we decided to include some community vows today too. These are your promises to us, to help us build a happy marriage that will last us for years and years and years. We hope you’ll join in! If you do, please answer each of these promises with ‘we do!’ 

PARTNER A

Do you promise to love us as our imperfect selves, supporting us as we learn to be the best partners to each other we can be? 

GUESTS / FRIENDS & FAMILY 

We do! 

PARTNER B

Do you promise to pull us aside if we need it, to offer gentle redirection and wise advice on difficult days – and to help us check ourselves before we wreck ourselves? 

GUESTS / FRIENDS & FAMILY 

We do! 

PARTNER A

And do you promise to come over for dinner, play all our records, beat (PARTNER B) in Mario Kart, and keep our liquor cabinet in solid rotation? 

GUESTS / FRIENDS & FAMILY 

We do! 

MOMENT OF MINDFULNESS & BLESSINGS 

PARTNER B

Now let’s take a moment to savor this special day. Just a few minutes of mindfulness. While we pause, think about the first time we met you, or your favorite memories of us – and if you feel like sharing them out loud, or have a wish for us, please speak up and give us your blessings! 

(PAUSE FOR MINDFUL MOMENT. GUESTS CAN SPEAK IF THEY WISH. IF NO ONE SPEAKS, MOVE TO THE NEXT PART OF THE CEREMONY AFTER A COUPLE MINUTES.)

DECLARATION OF INTENT (SELF UNITING)

PARTNER B

(PARTNER A), do you take me as your (husband / wife / spouse), to love me with all of your heart, exactly as I am? To face life’s challenges with me, support me, care for me, to be gentle and good to me, to tell me the truth, and to make me laugh?

PARTNER A

I truly, deeply do. 

(PARTNER B), do you take me as your (husband / wife / spouse), to build a life with me and raise our children, to support me, care for me, to be honest and patient with me, to big my big spoon every night, and to make me laugh? 

PARTNER B

I very much do. 

SIGNING THE MARRIAGE LICENSE 

PARTNER A

And of course, the State of (Wedding State) wants us to make a few promises of its own, so now we’ll sign the marriage license! (WITNESS ONE) and (WITNESS TWO), will you join us up here? 

• The couple and the witnesses sign the license

PRONOUNCEMENT OF MARRIAGE 

PARTNER B

Let me now introduce you to my beautiful (wife / husband / spouse)!

PARTNER A

Let me introduce you to my beautiful (wife / husband / spouse)! We are MARRIED! 

(THE COUPLE KISSES, EVERYONE CHEERS)