Marriage vows & commitment vows for polyamorous people on their wedding day, or to use during a vow renewal or commitment ceremony

 

 

Whether you’re a polyamorous couple getting married, a committed throuple or quad, or part of a polycule that’s hosting a commitment ceremony, exchanging vows will be one of the most memorable parts of the day.

 

Read in Spanish: Ejemplos de Votos para Bodas Poliamorosas y Ceremonias de Compromiso

 

Vows are the heart of any wedding or commitment ceremony. They’re the promises you make to each other as you start this new adventure. They set you on a shared path and help you manifest the future you wish to create.

 

Put simply, your vows are the promises you make to your partner(s) for the years ahead: How you promise to treat them, how you’ll show up, the future you promise to work toward, and the spouse you want to be. 

Learn More: Polyamorous Commitment Ceremony: Advice for Officiants on What to Say, Where to Stand, and More

In this way, we think of wedding and commitment vows as a special kind of magic – they cast a spell of joy and love over the entire gathering, and all the years to come.

 

Of course, traditional marriage vows often don’t work for polyamorous folks. (Especially that ‘forsaking all others’ bit… that’s not a match.) This is your chance to get creative, get authentic, and speak from the heart. 

 

Your vows might mention polyamory, or not. Two partners who get married might avoid language like ‘soulmates’ or ‘two lives becoming one,’ because these words don’t honor their open relationship and the other important people they share their lives with. Words like ‘faithful’ can be traded for words like ‘devoted’ or ‘dedicated and true,’ and sentiments like ‘forever’ can be traded for ‘as long as love shall last’ if needed.

 

Others stick to the classics, with promises to love, cherish, and support each other, no matter what life brings. These types of vows don’t focus on polyamory, just the love that’s shared.

 

Ask a friend to get ordained online and officiate your ceremony: 

♦ Get ordained online with AMM here

 

When a poly ceremony involves multiple partners committing to each other, all partners will usually exchange vows. And marriage ceremonies between two people in a polycule might include additional ceremonial unity elements that allow other partners and lovers to participate in their formal wedding day – sometimes this includes a vow exchange with other partners. 

 

Vows are usually exchanged after the Officiant has welcomed guests and explained the purpose of the gathering. Your vow exchange might be followed by an exchange of rings or gifts, a special reading, a prayer, or a unity ritual (such as handfasting).

 

Remember, there are no right or wrong ways to write your vows! Use the five examples below to help you get started. 

 

 

Photo: Vershinin / iStock

5 Vow Examples for a Poly Wedding or Commitment Ceremony 

 

Sweet & Simple 

 

I promise to love and cherish you, and to support you in all of life's ups and downs, today, tomorrow, and always. 

 

 

The Foundation 

 

I promise to keep honesty, trust, and love as the foundation of our relationship. To respect and honor you, to share my joys and sorrows with you, and to support you in all of your relationships and endeavors.

 

 

Just as You Are

 

I vow to love you just as you are. I know that we’ll continue to change and grow over the years, and I know that no matter what the future brings, I’ll love you just as much tomorrow, or in a hundred years, as I do today. I love you completely. 

 

 

Infinite Love

 

______, I love you. I promise to share the world with you, to taste every dessert, travel to every city, lay on every beach, and curl up with every campy queer horror novel known to man and monster. You’ve taught me that the heart can hold an infinite amount of love, and that there are infinite kinds of love. And that’s good, because I have an infinite love for you, and for all that you are. 

 

 

As we change and grow

 

I vow to keep our family at the center of my life and my heart. I vow to be intentional in the time I spend with each of you, to honor each of our sweet loves with kind words, compassion, forgiveness, honesty, and trust. As our love and our family grows and changes shape, this promise only deepens. I love you both so much, today, tomorrow, and forever.

 

 

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You might also like: 

 

• What happens during a commitment ceremony?
• How many times can you get married in each state?
• Simple Commitment Ceremony Script

 

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Read Next: 

 

Polyamorous Commitment Ceremony:

Advice for Officiants on What to Say, Where to Stand, and More

 

How do polyamorous weddings or commitment ceremonies work? What should you know before officiating your first one? Find out with this helpful advice!
 

• Read the full article here

 

 

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