Is RHONY’s Haley Glassman Bringing Lavender Marriage to the Mainstream?

Published Wednesday, Sep. 16th, 2026

Could RHONY S16 bring lavender marriage into the mainstream? Learn about Hailey Glassman's 'lavender marriage' to her mystery husband, and why Gen Z is reclaiming the term for a new generation of queer relationships and platonic marriages.

Screenshot from the Season 16 RHONY trailer, showing Haley Glassman — (Scene from Bravo's S16 RHONY trailer, Haley Glassman)

If you don’t watch Real Housewives of New York City, you might have missed the latest RHONY gossip to make headlines: In July, show newcomer Hailey Glassman revealed that she’s in a 15-year lavender marriage with her mystery husband – a successful, as-of-yet unnamed business man who lives in Martha’s Vineyard. The season premiere aired last week, alongside a new interview with Glassman, and now viewers can't stop talking about the couple's unique dynamic.

Glassman shared in the Season 16 trailer that she’s queer and in an open marriage – saying she has intimate sexual relationships with women as well as being married to a man. In a new interview published on Bravo Insider last week, she gave even more about the specifics of her marriage, describing it this way:

“I’m in a lavender marriage. We’ve known each other since he was 12 years old. We were neighbors in Martha’s Vineyard and we met at a sailing club.”

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But what exactly does Hailey Glassman mean by 'lavender marriage'?

As best we can tell, Hailey Glassman means that she and her mystery husband are in a consensual open marriage. It's not clear yet if the couple are platonic life partners, romantic partners, or in another type of queer relationship.

All we can say for sure is that Hailey Glassman’s 'lavender marriage' isn’t like hush-hush lavender marriages of the past – when a queer man or woman would get married to someone of the opposite sex to hide their sexuality from others. In traditional lavender marriages, sometimes both partners knew the truth about their marriage arrangement, but (unfortunately) sometimes they didn’t.

(Scene from Bravo's S16 RHONY trailer, Haley Glassman shopping with costars)

Gen Z and the new meaning of 'lavender marriage'

More interesting, maybe, is that Glassman’s casual use of the term is a perfect example of how ‘lavender marriage’s meaning has changed over the years. The phrase has been repurposed by new generations to describe a wider variety of unconventional marriage arrangements.

Now, 'lavender marriage' might mean an open marriage or polyamorous marriage, in which one or both partners could be queer. It might mean a platonic marriage between friends of any gender who get married to access the social, financial, or emotional benefits of legal marriage. It might be a queerplatonic marriage, an asexual or aromantic marriage, a marriage of convenience, or, of course, it might mean a ‘traditional’ lavender marriage between two people who need or want to hide their sexuality or gender identity from others.

Under the new umbrella term ‘lavender marriage', only the couple themselves can say which definition fits.

This broadened usage of 'lavender marriage' is especially popular online and with younger people. The concepts of platonic marriage, 'Boston marriages,' and nontraditional queer marriage are most popular with GenZ-ers, many of whom feel disenchanted by modern dating apps and situationship culture, are facing increasing financial strain while living alone, and who desire both personal autonomy and the real benefits of partnership.

Add in a growing understanding of ethical nonmonogamy in the U.S., and ideas like polycules, asexuality, and open marriages becoming more mainstream – and the rise of lavender marriage makes sense.

Could RHONY and reality television make lavender marriage commonplace?

We didn’t expect a newbie on The Real Housewives of New York City to bring lavender marriage into the public discourse like this – but Haley Glassman’s confession has definitely captured the attention of audiences and news outlets alike.

Will Glassman's definition of lavender marriage, if she chooses to explain it, match GenZ's? And are more than half-a-million weekly RHONY viewers enough to bring lavender marriages into the mainstream?

Time will tell. Who knows what other surprises this season's RHONY relationships will bring!

Want to learn more about lavender marriage? AMM’s got you covered

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Jessica Levey

Content Manager; Lead Staff Writer & Illustrator

Jessica Levey is a writer, illustrator, and content manager at American Marriage Ministries, where she writes about marriage law and wedding industry trends. She holds a degree in Strategic Communications and has a background in trade journalism, with experience in data-informed, people-first reporting, SEO / AEO. She was ordained with AMM in 2020 and is an advocate for marriage equality, LGBTQ+ rights, and individuality. In her personal time, Jessica writes, illustrates, and makes comics and zines independently at hellojesslevey.com.

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