An Officiant’s Guide to Covenant Marriages

"'Til death do us part" : A closer look at covenant marriage & everything officiants need to know about these religious, life-long unions

 

Covenant marriages are legally distinct from other types of marriage, in ways that make it much harder for couples to divorce. They appeal to Christian couples with conservative religious views, who have a biblical view of marriage, and see it as a life-long religious covenant between two people and God. 

 

These strict marriage contracts are only found in a few states -- Arizona, Arkansas, and Louisiana -- and couples must apply for a designated covenant marriage license and follow specific rules to marry. Currently, it’s estimated that fewer than one to two percent of couples in these states choose covenant marriages. 

 

Although these marriages are uncommon, it's useful for wedding officiants to understand their legal distinctions and religious foundations. This is especially true as legislators in a growing number of states consider new provisions for covenant marriages. Legislation about covenant marriages has been introduced in Missouri, Oklahoma, and Texas in recent years, including new proposals for 2025. 

 

What is a covenant marriage? And why do people choose them?

 

Covenant marriages are a legally-distinct type of marriage in which religious couples  agree not to divorce, and to participate in premarital counseling and marriage conseling (should problems arise). 

 

Unlike more common types of marriage, there are strict requirements for entering a covenant marriage and restrictions for ending one. These guidelines vary somewhat by state, and couples are encouraged to research the rules in their state thoroughly before applying for their marriage license. 

 

Learn more: What is a Covenant Marriage? (And Why Would Couples Choose One?)

 

In general, before entering into a covenant marriage, couples must seek premarital counseling from a marriage counselor or member of the clergy. During these counseling sessions, couples discuss the seriousness of this lifelong commitment and the legal difficulties of ending it. They must also declare their desire for a covenant marriage on the marriage license application, and provide the clerk with additional documentation. For detailed instructions, couples should contact their local county or court clerk. 

 

The legal grounds for leaving a covenant marriage are very limited. Most often, a spouse must prove extreme wrong-doing, such as abuse, abandonment, or adultry.  

 

Covenant marriages appeal to conservative religious couples who view marriage as a covenant between two people and God, and who do not agree with divorce. The strict nature of these agreements is usually more in-line with a couple’s religious beliefs than a conventional marriage contract, which can be ended at will (no-fault divorce).

 

Supporters of covenant marriage believe these agreements help to repair and preserve struggling relationships, because they require couples to seek counseling when problems arise and to complete a waiting period before finalizing a divorce. However, many advocates for survivors of domestic abuse point out that because abuse can be difficult to prove, making divorce more difficult through fault-based divorce puts many spouse and children at risk. 

 

 

Religious couples may choose covenant marriage because they view marriage as a life-long, faith-based commitment.

 

 

What should wedding officiants know about signing a covenant marriage license? 

 

For officiants, completing a covenant marriage license is no different than completing any other marriage license in the state. 

 

The clerk's office that issues the marriage license will include specific instructions on how the license should be returned after the wedding. Couples and officiants should make sure they follow those instructions closely. 

 

 

Performing a covenant marriage ceremony

 

Here are a few tips on how to officiate a covenant marriage ceremony. As always, spend as much time as possible getting to know the couple before the wedding day. 

 

1. Discuss the level of 'religiosity', how religious the wedding ceremony will be

 

These traditional religious ceremonies are centered around a couple’s faith and their enduring promises to each other. This makes it especially important for the wedding officiant and couple to discuss the tone and desired religiosity of the ceremony during the first meeting. There’s more at stake here. Make sure that everyone is comfortable participating before any decisions are made or contracts signed. 

 

Wedding officiants should be honest with themselves about whether or not they’re comfortable saying and reading the religious words and texts involved in the ceremony. As with any ceremony, if the officiant isn’t comfortable, it’s best to say so right away, so that the couple can find a better fit. You can always refer a couple to a colleague if you wish, perhaps one with more experience performing traditional religious ceremonies.

 

Examples of questions to ask the couple before performing a religious wedding ceremony: 

 

 

"How religious do you want the wedding ceremony wording to be?" 

 

"Are there any Bible verses or specific pieces of marriage scripture that you want me to include?"

 

"Do you want me to include a traditional wedding sermon?"

 

"Are there any words or phrases that you want me to avoid?"

 

 

 

2. Decide which elements and rituals to include in the wedding ceremony

 

All religious denominations have their own wedding traditions to celebrate the covenant of marriage, such as a unity candle ceremony, feet washing ceremony, cord of three strands ceremony, or salt covenant ceremony. Some denominations require the presiding minister or pastor to read specific passages from scripture or Bible verses about marriage. Regardless of the specifics, all covenant marriage ceremonies are centered on the couple’s religious beliefs and commitment to specific moral ideologies, such as the promise to never divorce: "Till death do us part."

 

Discuss any religious elements or rituals that the couple wants to include. As you write your officiant script, you can personalize the wording to make sure that it suits the couple's personality, love story, and beliefs. 

 

Couples will usually want the Wedding Invocation and Declaration of Intent to emphasize that their union is unbreakable, followed by a prayer or sermon. Themes of loyalty, fidelity, devotion, patience, commitment, joy, sacrifice, love, togetherness, dedication, hard work, and continuing faith are also emphasized. 

 

The Wedding Vows and Pronouncement of Marriage will echo these sentiments, along with any special readings and unity rituals. 

 

Examples of popular Christian wedding traditions to include: 

 

• How to Include the Feet Washing Wedding Tradition in Your Ceremony (With a Sample Script for the Officiant)
   
• How to Perform a Unity Candle Ceremony (for Wedding Officiants)
   
• Christian Ceremony Script With Salt Covenant
   
• How to Include a Cord of Three Strands Ceremony in Your Wedding (With a Sample Officiant Script!)

 

 

3. “Until death do us part” 

 

These marriages are intended to be lifelong. This should be emphasized in the marriage vows. While modern ceremonies will often leave out or modify this wording, for example "...for as long as love may last", covenant marriages will not. 

 

Officiants should always talk with their couple to decide on the specific language to use. 

 

Example of covenant marriage vows: 

 

“I, ______, take you, ______, to be my (wife/husband), and I do promise before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful (wife/husband) from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.” 

 

 

Updated December 31, 2024

---

 

Need a Christian Wedding Ceremony Script to use on the big day? 

 

Get started with over 20 Christian Wedding Ceremony Scripts in AMM's Script Library.

 

We have sample officiant scripts for every type of wedding! Mix and match your favorite sections to create a personalize script for your couple.

 

---

 

More Christian Wedding Ideas 

 

• Christian Ceremony Script With A Bible Reading And Prayer
   
• 12 Christian Wedding Readings That Aren’t Bible Verses
   
• 10 Popular Bible Verses about Marriage, Love, & Commitment
   

 

 Planning a Christian wedding ceremony? Honor a couple's holy matrimony with quotes from The Holy Bible. Click the article linked above to read more.
 

---

 

Become a Wedding Officiant with Online Ordination from American Marriage Ministries

Officiating a wedding or elopement ceremony is a wonderful way to show your support for the happy couple, and to give the ultimate wedding gift: an intimate and personal ceremony. When a loved one officiates, every moment means more!

You can officiate a wedding with free online ordination through American Marriage Ministries (AMM). 

|* custom-button, "https://theamm.org/ordination-application", "ORDAINED MINISTER ONLINE APPLICATION" *|

Why choose AMM for your ordination? American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expires.

 

Officiating weddings is an incredible honor, and a great way to show your love and support for the people getting married. As a wedding officiant, you will help to create memorable ceremonies and memories that last a lifetime.

AMM Ministers can legally officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in Virginia, where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the link above to get started! 

 

 

...

 

Become an ordained minister online with American Marriage Ministries and officiate wedding for friends and relatives. (Photo cropped: Biserka Stojanovic / iStock)

---