How to Include the Feet Washing Wedding Tradition in Your Ceremony (With a Sample Script for the Officiant)

Washing each other's feet at your wedding ceremony is a symbolic way to start your Christian marriage with a meaningful act of service and selfless love. 

 

Sample Ceremony Script for Officiants included below!

 

 

Listen now: 

 

 

 

The feet washing unity ritual is a popular tradition in Christian weddings as a way for couples to demonstrate their love and commitment to each other through a simple act of service. By following the example set by Jesus in John 13, when he washed the feet of the Disciples, the couple honor their faith and embody His humility and unconditional love as they join in holy matrimony.

 

With this simple unity ritual, they say to each other and their families, “I vow to serve you in this marriage, to accept you just as you are, and to treat you with compassion, humility, and unconditional love each step of the way.”

 

• Ask a friend or relative to get ordained with AMM to officiate your wedding. 

 

 

This groom uses a small glass vase filled with water to perform the unity ritual.

 

 

The Symbolism of the Foot Washing Ceremony 

 

What's the meaning behind washing each other's feet at the wedding? The foot washing wedding tradition reminds the couple to love and treat each other as equals, and to provide for each other without ‘keeping score’ – or expecting anything in return.

 

This ritual originates from a story in The Holy Bible, John 13, and is performed in churches around the world during Holy Week (on Maundy Thursday), to remind followers to live a life defined by the Christ-like qualities of humility, selflessness, acceptance, generosity, and acts of service.

 

John 13:3-7 & John 13:12-18 : 

 

 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he had come from God and was going to God, 4 got up from supper, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. 6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered, “You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

 

“12 After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had reclined again, he said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for that is what I am. 14 So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. 16 Very truly, I tell you, slaves are not greater than their master, nor are messengers[d] greater than the one who sent them. 17 If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.”

 

(from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition, NRSVUE Bible)

 

In this biblical story, Jesus takes the humble stance of a servant to wash the feet of his Disciples on the night before his death, following the Last Supper. He reminds them to see all people as equals, to look upon every person with humility and selfless love, and to serve others without expecting anything in return for their service. He washes their feet to clean and purify them, as they walk a Christian path. 

 

 

Foot Washing Wedding Ceremony Meaning & Symbolism

 

• Embody Jesus’s selfless love and service
• Humility 
• Loving sacrifice 
• Devotion to faith and each other
• Dedication to serving others and each other
• Purity and cleanliness 
• Christ's forgiveness and love

 

Christ Washing the Feet of the Apostles by Meister des Hausbuches, 1475 / Wikicommons

 

 

When is a Feet Washing Ceremony Performed During a Wedding? 

 

The foot washing ceremony can be included at any time during the wedding ceremony, but usually comes after the Declaration of Intent and the exchange of vows and rings. In this case, the ceremony order is as follows:

 

• Welcome and Invocation
• Prayer and Words on Marriage
• Declaration of Intent
• Exchange of Written Vows
• Exchanging of Rings
• Foot Washing Ceremony 
• Pronouncement

 

Of course, you can personalize this anyway you choose! Some couples choose to exchange written vows and rings after the foot washing ritual, instead. Your ceremony’s order is entirely up to you and your wedding officiant. 

 

Learn more: Wedding Ceremony Outline & Order : Understanding the Parts of a Wedding Ceremony

 

What Supplies do you need for a Foot Washing Wedding Ceremony? 

 

Given its beauty and meaning, this ritual is fairly simple to perform. We recommend you perform this ritual outdoors if possible, or to bring extra towels to absorb any water that splashes or spills on the floor. 

 

You’ll need: 

 

• Medium or large decorative basin or bowl
• Water pitcher filled with water
• Sponge (optional)
• Soft hand towels
• Extra towels (if indoors)
• Folding Chair
• Knowledgeable Wedding Officiant*

 

Some couples choose to add brightly colored flower petals, scented oils, or herbs to the water. These ingredients are optional, and up to individual preferences. 

 

* Your Wedding Officiant can be a friend or relative who has been ordained to officiate your wedding, a professional officiant, or clergy from a local brick-and-mortar church. 

 

• Get Ordained online here with American Marriage Ministries

 

 

Photo: Rune Enstad / Unsplash

 

 

How to Perform a Feet Washing Unity Ceremony

 

To start the unity ceremony, the Wedding Officiant will first introduce the ritual by saying a few words about its history, meaning, and symbolism to the couple. 

 

Next, the Officiant will ask Partner One to sit down in the chair. Partner One will slip off their socks and shoes and place their feet beside the bowl. Partner Two will kneel down in front of them, lift their feet gently into the bowl, and pour a small amount of water from the pitcher over the tops of their feet.

 

Partner Two will set the pitcher down and gently wash Partner One’s feet by rubbing them gently in the water. After performing this symbolic act of love and service, they’ll lift Partner One’s feet out of the water and dry them off with a decorative hand towel.

 

Partner One will put their socks and shoes back on, trade places with Partner Two, and repeat each step of the foot washing process with their soon-to-be-spouse. 

 

After both partners have participated in the ritual, they’ll stand beside the Wedding Officiant to continue the remainder of the ceremony.  

 

Keep in mind: Some couples use a soft sponge to perform the washing, others just use their hands to keep things simple. You don’t need to use soap – because this is a symbolic gesture, you don’t need to use anything other than water during the ritual. 

 

 

Step-by-step Feet Washing Unity Ceremony 

 

• The Wedding Officiant introduces the ritual to guests
• Partner One is seated next to the bowl, removes socks & shoes
• Partner Two kneels, lifts Partner One’s feet into bowl
• Partner Two pours water from pitcher over feet
• Partner Two ceremoniously washes Partner One’s feet
• Partner Two dries Partner One’s feet with small towel
• Partner One puts socks and shoes back on 
• Partner One and Partner Two trade places
• Partner Two is seated, removes socks and shoes 
• Partner One kneels, lifts Partner Two’s feet into bowl
• Partner One pours water from pitcher over feet
• Partner One ceremoniously washes Partner Two’s feet
• Partner One dries Partner Two’s feet with small towel
• Partner Two puts socks and shoes back on 
• The Partners stand with the Officiant and the ceremony continues

 

 

Photo: Samuel Lima / Pexels

The groom washing the feet of his bride at the wedding ceremony. 

 

 

 

Photo: Satish Photos / Pexels

 

 

Did you know? The tradition of washing a couple's feet at their wedding is found in various religions and cultures around the world and has different meanings depending on local tradition. 

 

For example, traditional Javanese weddings in Indonesia (where a majority of couples are Muslim) also include a foot washing ceremony called the ritual of ‘Wiji Dadi.’ During this symbolic ceremony, the groom steps on a chicken egg barefoot, and the bride washes his feet in an aromatic mixture of water and flower petals. This ritual symbolizes a groom’s readiness to become a father and husband, and a bride’s readiness to meet the needs of her husband and family. See a video of the Ritual Wiji Dadi here.

 

And in some Hindu weddings, the feet washing ceremony is called Vaarpooja (Vaar Pooja), in which a bride’s parents wash the groom’s feet to symbolize respect, honor and purification. See a video of this traditional Indian wedding ritual here. 
 

 

---

 

Read Next: 

 

• An Officiant’s Guide to Covenant Marriages
   
• 10 Popular Bible Verses about Marriage, Love, & Commitment

 

 

Ten Bible verses to inspire your Christian wedding ceremony. Read the full article here.

 

---