How to Perform a Unity Candle Ceremony (for Wedding Officiants)

Everything you need to know about the unity candle wedding ceremony, including what to say for wedding officiants! 

 

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Unity candle ceremonies are popular and beautiful wedding unity rituals. They symbolize the joining together of two distinct personalities in devoted partnership. They’re also chosen to represent the blending of two separate families into one, especially when meaningful elders or children participate. 
 
If you’re performing or planning a unity candle lighting ceremony for the first time, or will be setting one up in a new or unusual venue, you may wonder about the best approach to take.You’re in the right place!

 

Asked to officiate a wedding? Get ordained online with American Marriage Ministries for free today. 

 

We’ll cover the meaning of the unity candle, supplies you'll need, unity candle set up, rehearsal before the wedding, what to say during unity candle lighting, and things to keep in mind after the wedding ceremony is over.

 

Scroll down for a sample unity candle wedding ceremony script and video demonstration.

 

 

Unity candle ceremony how to: The light of love grows brighter when two flames become one in marriage. Keep reading to learn the meaning of the unity candle ceremony and how to do this beautiful ritual during your own wedding celebration.

 

 

What is a Wedding Candle Ceremony?

 

A unity candle ceremony is a symbolic wedding ritual in which the couple uses two small taper candles to light a larger 'unity candle,' symbolizing the merging of their two lives into one as they make the commitment of marriage. This ritual is sometimes called a 'wedding candle ceremony' or 'candle lighting ceremony.'

 

The unity candle tradition has been around since two people first joined their hearts in marriage as a beautiful symbol that when two lives join as one, love grows brighter and lights the way toward happiness for years to come. Wedding candle rituals are a popular tradition in non-religious, Christian, and Pagan wedding traditions (among others) and can have non-religious or religious meaning depending on the couple's beliefs and the words used during the ceremony.

 

Your unity candle ceremony can be personalized with taper candles chosen in your wedding colors, a custom-made unity candle with your names and wedding date, special music, prayer, and other personal touches.

 

Include family members in the wedding candle ceremony: 

 

Often a wedding candle ceremony includes just the two people getting married, but you can include other loved ones if you wish, to symbolize their important role in your growing family.

 

A unity candle ceremony with children (for blended families) can include a separate taper candle for each partner and each child, used to light a larger candle that symbolizes the entire family.

 

You can also include parents or grandparents in the unity ceremony. In this case, elders will light the taper candles and pass them to you, so that you can light the unity candle with their symbolic blessing -- carrying their love and wisdom into your own marriage.

 

 

When do you light the unity candle? Usually, the unity candle lighting ceremony comes after the couple's wedding vows and ring exchange. Keep reading to see the order of a wedding ceremony with this unity ritual! (Photo: Artem Zakharov / iStock)

 

 

Order of Wedding Ceremony with Unity Candle

 

When do you light the unity candle?

 

A unity candle lighting ceremony usually happens right after a couple exchanges wedding vows and wedding rings as a further symbol of the couple's love and commitment. Notice we said 'usually' -- a candle lighting ritual can take place at any time during the wedding ceremony if the couple has a special idea in mind. There are no rules!  

 

Most often, a wedding ceremony order with a candle lighting goes like this: 

 

• Wedding Officiant makes any 'housekeeping' announcements
• Wedding Procession (the couple and their wedding party enter)
• Welcome & Invocation is delivered by the Officiant
• Declaration of Intent is delivered (the couple's 'I do's)
• Exchange of Wedding Vows & Wedding Rings
• Unity Candle Ceremony 
• Closing Words or Final Blessing is delivered by the Officiant
• Pronouncement of Marriage is delivered ("I pronounce you married!")
• Wedding Recession (the married couple makes their exit)

 

Who lights the unity candle?

 

The wedding couple will light the unity candle during the unity ceremony, using two smaller taper candles. But who lights the taper candles?

 

Before the wedding day, the couple will decide who lights the tapers. You have options, each with their own special touch. Consider the options below:

 

• The tapers can be lit before the wedding ceremony starts, so that they are already lit and waiting when the unity ritual begins. In this case, anyone can light them because it is not part of the ritual.
• At the start of the unity candle ceremony, a mother, father, or close friend lights each taper and passes them to the couple, who then use the tapers to light the unity candle.
• The wedding couple takes turns lighting their tapers using a lighter or matches placed on the table.
• Or the wedding officiant might light the tapers and pass them one at a time to the wedding couple at the start the unity ceremony while describing the meaning and symbolism of the ritual.

 

Who lights the taper candles is entirely up to the couple. Asking a parent or friend to light the candle is a great way to involve loved ones in the ceremony, but all of the options above are common and acceptable choices. 

 

Related: How to Include Family and Friends In Your Wedding Ceremony

 

 

How to do a Unity Candle Ceremony: Ritual Outline & Order for the Wedding Officiant

 

• Two candles are lit, one for each partner 

 

Who lights the taper candles? It depends! These candles might already be lit when the wedding ceremony starts, or two family members might light them and pass them to the couple, or the couple might light them themselves, or the wedding officiant might light them to start the ceremony. All of these are common and acceptable choices.

 

• The officiant talks about the meaning of the two candles and the symbolism of two flames joining as one

 

After the officiant describes the meaning of the ritual, they will instruct the couple to light the third candle together using their taper candles.

 

• The partners light the third candle together, using the two smaller candles

 

This third candle is the ‘unity candle' and symbolizes the commitment of marriage.

 

• The two smaller candles are placed back in their holders 

 

The tapers are usually left burning until the wedding ceremony is over.

 

• More details and a sample unity candle ceremony script below! 

 

 

Above, two taper candles rest in holders next to a white unity candle decorated with interlocking hearts, symbolizing two hearts joined together in marriage. In addition to these simple supplies, you'll also need something to light your candles with. Don't forget to bring matches or a lighter with you! (Photo: GummyBone / iStock)

 

 

Unity Candle Ceremony Supplies 

 

The wedding couple will provide the supplies for this ritual, but the wedding officiant should make sure that all of the required items are set up and ready to go before the wedding ceremony starts. We recommend you pack an extra lighter or matches in your Officiant Wedding Day Emergency Kit too, because you never know when you'll need them!

 

You’ll need: 

 

• Two small candles with candle holders*

(Many couples choose taper candles for their individual candles. Use an additional candle for anyone else you want to include in the unity ritual, such as kids, parents, or close friends.)

 

• A larger decorative candle with candle holder or plate/ tray*

(This is the ‘unity candle’ which will be kept as a memento after the ceremony. Specialty candles with carved names and dates can be purchased, but many couples just choose a large pillar candle in a favorite color. )

 

• A lighter or matches

(Keep aesthetics in mind – this lighter might be visible and even photographed during the ceremony. And don’t forget to bring a backup!)

 

• A table or stand to hold the candles and decor

 

• Decorative touches for the table / wedding altar

 

*Personalize your unity candle ceremony with sculpted, scented, or hand-poured. There are many unity candle sets for sale online and in boutique bridal shops to help you create stunning and polished looking wedding photos. 

 

Add a dash of wedding witchcraft or candle color magic to the day by choosing a candle in a symbolic color.

 

Pro Tip: Choose a low smoke or clean burning candle for indoor ceremonies, and don’t forget to trim the wick! If your wedding guests are sensitive to strong odors you may want to purchase unscented candles. 

 

Related: Pagan Wedding Altars : An Illustrated Look at a Year and a Day Altar

 

 

What type of candles will you choose? Take your pick from various shapes, colors, scents, materials, styles, and more. For a planned and polished look, purchase a unity candle set with matching components like the beautiful example above.

Unity Candle Set Up (Before the Wedding Ceremony Begins)

 

Make sure that all supplies are set up and ready for use before the wedding ceremony starts. And don’t forget to bring a backup lighter! 

 

The taper candles should be placed along the end of the table so that they’re easy to reach. 

 

Make sure the table is at an appropriate height so that the couple won't need to bend down, and practice good fire safety. Clear away any drapery or decorations that might accidentally catch on fire. This is more common during unity candle ceremonies than you might think.

 

Decorate the table with flowers, herbs, crystals, framed photos of family members, colorful fabric table cloths, and any other meaningful items that speak to the couples’ unique relationship. 

 

Related: Honoring the Memory of Loved Ones in Your Wedding Ceremony

 

 

Unity Candle Table Ideas & Placement

 

Where you put the table matters a great deal! This should be decided before or during the rehearsal. 

 

Here are a few popular options to consider:

 

Off to the side:

 

When placing the table off to one side, choose a spot that the couple can walk to easily (without tangling a long dress). If a wedding has two brides in long gowns, you’ll probably want to choose an alternate placement.

 

Close to the audience: 

 

To give your guests the best view, place the table up front and just to the side. As the couple steps forward to perform the ceremony, they’ll move closer to the guests, which will feel more interactive for everyone involved. 

 

Behind the wedding officiant: 

 

The simplest choice is to place the table behind the officiant. The officiant will step behind the table when it’s time for the unity ceremony, and the couple won’t need to move much (or at all) to take their places. This is a popular choice because the stand isn’t noticeable until the officiant steps behind it, and the audience will not need to shift their attention to a different location. 

Pro Tip: You should absolutely have a wedding rehearsal. During the rehearsal, remember that everyone will be wearing different clothes on the wedding day. Keep this in mind when you’re choosing where to place the table and candles to accommodate long gowns and bridal trains, theme wedding costumes, robes, or decorative sleeves or shawls that might catch fire. You should also note how long the ritual takes during the rehearsal, and consider whether or not there’s time to involve other people. These small details matter! 

 

 

Be mindful of decorations and clothing when setting up your candles and practice good fire safety on the wedding day.

 

 

What to Say During Unity Candle Lighting Ceremonies

Transitional phrases & ceremony wording 

 

Transitions are key when shifting from another part of the wedding ceremony to the unity candle ceremony. Good transitions give the wedding ceremony a great flow and feel and keep wedding guests feeling engaged.

 

Say a few words to let guests know what’s coming next, and then talk about the ritual’s symbolism and meaning for the couple.

 

Below is an example of what we mean by a smooth transition and a suggestion of what to say during a unity candle ceremony. 

 

 

 

Pro Tip: If one of the candles goes out during the ceremony, simply light it again using the second candle or the lighter and continue with the ceremony. And don’t worry about spilled wax! 

See full wedding ceremony scripts with a unity candle ritual here. 

 

 

Watch a simple demonstration of a unity candle lighting below:

 

 

 

After the Wedding Ceremony 

 

Unity candle ceremonies are popular because they bring a visual storytelling component to the wedding ceremony, and the couple will have a decorative keepsake to place on a shelf or mantle at home. 

 

In fact, some couples light the candle again each year on their anniversary, to reflect on their relationship while sipping a glass of wine!  

 

A final planning note: Choose a friend or relative to be in charge of cleanup after the ceremony, and someone to take the candle for safe-keeping. 

 

Article updated December 16th, 2025

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Learn more about the Unity Candle Ceremony: 

 

• FAQs About the Unity Candle Ceremony, Including When, How, Who, Where, and Why!

 

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More Wedding Unity Ceremony Ideas

 

• How to Perform a Unity Sand Ceremony (for Wedding Officiants)

 

• 6 Hindu Wedding Rituals You Might See at a Big Indian Ceremony
   
• Give Your Love Letter Ceremony a Centuries-Old Twist with Letterlocking

 

Browse all Wedding Unity Ceremony Ideas

 

Wedding altar arranged with flowers and vases for a sand ceremony 

Illustrated by Jessica Levey

 

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Ask a Loved One to Officiate Your Wedding Ceremony! 

Good things happen when friends and relatives help out at the wedding ceremony! Having a friend officiate your elopement is a great way to ensure the wedding day is as intimate and personal as it can be. When the guest list is small, every moment means more! 

Ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding with free online ordination through American Marriage Ministries (AMM). 

|* custom-button, "https://theamm.org/ordination-application", "ORDAINED MINISTER ONLINE APPLICATION" *|

Why AMM? American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expires.

 

Officiating weddings is an incredible honor, and a great way to show your love and support for the people getting married. As a wedding officiant, you will help to create memorable ceremonies and memories that last a lifetime.

AMM Ministers can legally officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in Virginia, where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the link above to get started! 

 

 

Become an ordained minister online with American Marriage Ministries and officiate wedding for friends and relatives. (Photo cropped: Biserka Stojanovic / iStock)

 

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