Mormon Weddings : From Top-Secret Temple Sealings to the Myth of Magic Underwear

If you don’t know much about Mormon weddings, there’s a good reason for it. The Mormons don’t want you to find out.

Temple marriages are top-secret affairs -- absolutely no non-Mormons are allowed to see these hidden events. Even some practicing Mormons, who aren’t deemed worthy of a “temple recommend,” will be asked to wait outside. 

 

This can be downright heartbreaking for LDS couples with friends and family outside the faith, who find themselves without their loved ones by their side on their big day. 

 

But it’s also a drag for those friends and family waiting on the temple lawn -- cameras and confetti in hand -- wondering why they aren’t invited. 

 

With all the secrecy involved, it's no wonder so much confusion, skepticism, and ambivalence surround these highly private unions… both inside and outside the faith. 

In the spirit of demystifying things, for loved ones left off the guest list,  here’s a quick breakdown of what we do know about Mormon weddings… from temple sealings to the myth of magic underwear. 

 

It’s important to mention that we respect the deeply held beliefs of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to the extent that they don’t inflict harm on others. This article is presented in the interest of education and ecumenism.

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LDS Temple Wedding Basics

 

• What is a temple sealing? 

 

When Mormons marry, their bond isn’t just lifelong, here on earth. Mormons wed for eternity. 

 

An LDS temple sealing, another term for a temple marriage, binds or seals two people here on earth as well as in heaven. The sealing ritual takes about 20 to 30 minutes… while the marriage lasts forever.

 

LDS sealings are a vital part of salvation in the Mormon faith, and by solemnizing marriages this way, Mormons believe they are joining families across generations. 

 

 

• What happens in a temple sealing? 

 

Temple marriages must take place in a recognized LDS temple. As of October 2024, there were approximately 350 Mormon temples operating or announced worldwide, including 197 dedicated temples (via The Church News).

 

Although the number of LDS temples continues to grow, many couples must still travel long distances to hold a temple sealing, which can be very expensive and inconvenient. Because of this added expense, many couples wait a long time before marrying in order to save the money needed for travel. 

 

How to Plan an LDS Wedding 

 

When planning an LDS temple wedding, couples must follow a few strict rules:

 

First, they must reserve a sealing room for a specific time and date. Then, in order to enter the temple on their wedding day, they must request and obtain a temple recommend, proving they are worthy members of the LDS Church.

 

Next, they must apply for a marriage license with the state, just like any other couple. 

 

And lastly, they must secure two male witnesses for their sealing. Only men can serve as witnesses, and they must be worthy members of the Church with current temple recommends themselves, and belong to the Melchizedek Priesthood (the greater order of priesthood within the Church).

 

 

A Temple Endowment Prayer Circle:

Mormon wedding planning includes a few strict rules. For example, adult Mormons who wish to be married in the Church first receive a temple endowment (sacred blessing), and a temple recommend.   

 

• What is a temple recommend? 

 

The couple getting married, and any guests at the wedding, must be endowed Church members with current 'temple recommends.' Because this is an essential requirement, it’s important to understand what this religious permission slip entails. 

 

So, what is a temple recommend? Members of the LDS Church attend temple recommend interviews where they answer questions about their faith practices and beliefs, such as "Do you have faith in and a testimony of God, the Eternal Father; His Son, Jesus Christ; and the Holy Ghost?" and "Do you sustain the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the prophet, seer, and revelator and as the only person on the earth authorized to exercise all priesthood keys?"

 

After their temple recommend interview, members receive a card that certifies they are worthy to enter a temple. Temple recommend cards are valid for two years, after which they must be renewed by the same process. The temple recommend questions used in interviews were updated in 2019 and are made public so that all members can prepare. You can see them here.

 

Temple Recommend for Weddings 

 

To have their marriage sealed in temple, couples must actually obtain two recommends apiece, by meeting with their bishop or branch president (the leader of their congregation), and with the local state president (a leader who presides over multiple congregations and bishops). 

 

Couples must prove they’re worthy to enter a temple: that they follow the LDS Church’s rules very closely, including maintaining moral actions and thoughts at all times, paying tithes (10% of their income), staying chaste, making regular confessions, avoiding unhealthy diets, and wearing special garments when inside the temple, among many other qualifiers. 

 

Any guest wishing to attend the wedding must also interview for and receive a temple recommend. Only adults over the age of 18 can receive a recommend.

 

 

• What happens in a Mormon sealing ceremony?

 

Since non-Mormons can’t attend an LDS sealing ceremony, and Mormons who do attend aren’t allowed to talk about them, details of the ritual itself are hard to prove. Even photographs of the event are forbidden! But there are enough ex-Mormons sharing their experiences to give non-Mormons a decent idea of what takes place. 

 

As a loose description, the couple kneels around an altar and repeats the vows of commitment recited by the church member performing the sealing. The couple may clasp hands during the ceremony, and after the vows, they’re pronounced husband and wife and receive a blessing from the Church. 

 

 

• Can a Mormon couple choose a civil ceremony instead? 

 

Yes! In fact, many Mormon couples choose to have civil ceremonies either instead of, or in addition to, a temple wedding, so that all of the people they love can participate. But doing so isn’t without risk, and the potential for disapproval. 

 

LDS Civil Marriage Ceremony: Options & Considerations

 

Until 2019, couples in the United States who chose a public civil ceremony faced consequences for the decision -- they were forced to wait a full year before holding a temple wedding, in order to re-establish their worthiness to enter the temple.

 

But this year-long wait wasn’t universal within the LDS Church, in fact only 3 countries (the US, Canada, and South Africa) enforced it. Other countries with large Mormon populations, such as the UK, have long allowed LDS civil ceremonies to be followed by same-day temple weddings, to accommodate families with members inside and outside of the faith. 

 

After repeated petitioning from members of the Church, leaders updated their rules for LDS civil ceremonies in 2019. Now, couples are permitted to hold civil ceremonies directly followed by temple sealings, although the strict rules around the sealings themselves remain in place. 

 

Strict guidelines for LDS civil ceremonies are laid out in the Church Handbook:

 

• Must be perfomed Church leaders, such as the Mission president, Stake president, District president, Bishop, Branch president
• "Officers may only perform a civil marriage between a man and a woman," no same-sex marriages allowed
• One member of the couple must belong to the Church or have a baptismal date
• Weddings can be held in Church buildings but can't be held on the Sabbath or on Monday evenings

 

For a full list of requirements, including the approved LDS Civil Ceremony Script, head to 38.3 Civil Marriage of the LDS Handbook

 

Some couples chose to have a civil ceremony first, followed by a private temple wedding, so that all friends and relatives can celebrate their marriage. 

 

 

• Ok, but what about the magic underwear? 

 

One of the most talked about Mormon customs is the wearing of temple garments -- sometimes called 'Mormon magic underwear' irreverently by people outside the faith. Unfortunately, these garments themselves don’t appear to have any actual magical powers... Sorry. 

 

Temple garments are worn under an individual's daily clothing and are much like the religious dress and vestments of other faiths, such as hijabs, turbans, and cassocks. One difference is that after a Mormon has been endowed, they wear these garments at all times, even at home, but especially when entering a temple. 

 

These religious undergarments are much more involved than a simple pair of boxer briefs or bikini cut knickers, and more closely resemble a 1920s bathing suit or full-coverage Spanx (without the shaping). For both men and women, temple garments must be white, and must cover the chest, torso, pelvis, and upper thighs, although the cut varies by gender.

 

LDS Temple Garments Symbolism & Meaning

 

Temple garments serve to remind Mormons of their belief in and connection to God throughout the day. They are also viewed as the 'Armor of God.' Mormons consider themselves at war with darkness and spiritual wickedness, which “thrash” believers inside and out, and they must defend against the “onslaught of immorality, crime, substance abuse, and other insidious influences” of the modern world. (via The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)

 

Learn more about the history and symbolism here: Temple Garments | The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 

 

(Perhaps instead of magic underwear, garments would be more accurately described as ‘armor undies’. As this is not intended to be disrespectful, we’d need to confer with the Church before adopting this term.)

 

 

• After the wedding: Can Mormons get divorced? 

 

Surprisingly, Mormons can be unsealed from one another, although this is really only an issue for Mormon women. Because Mormon men can be sealed to multiple women at one time, no undoing of a seal is needed. (Although plural marriage and bigamy are no longer commonly practiced within the faith, the concepts of polygamy are still embraced.)

 

A civil divorce does not unseal a couple. After the paperwork is signed, the couple must apply for and receive a cancellation of sealing, which can only be done by a high-ranking church official. Mormon women wishing to remarry, and have their new unions sealed, must receive this cancellation before the next wedding. This isn’t necessary for men wishing to remarry. 

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Still feeling hurt that you weren’t invited to your friend’s Mormon wedding? 

 

It can be hard for loved ones to feel unwelcome at a couple’s wedding, but remember that these restricted events are very common within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the rules aren’t up to the couple themselves. So don’t take it personally.

 

If you feel comfortable asking your Mormon friend about their faith and their temple wedding, go for it! Talking to those we love about our different faiths is how we learn and grow, and many times, these open minded conversations can reduce misunderstandings and limit snap judgements.

 

But be warned. These candid conversations can also turn up fresh disagreements and points of contention. Sensitive topics like gay marriage, women’s rights, reproductive health, or the role of religion and government in daily living, among others, have all come up in national conversation recently while discussing the traditional (and sometimes discriminatory) policies of the LDS Church. 

 

These are valuable conversations to have with your friends and family -- but for the sake of a drama-free wedding, it might be good to save them for after the ceremony. 

 

Updated January 6, 2025

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Curious about other types of traditional or religious wedding customs? 

 

• An Officiant’s Guide to Covenant Marriages

 

• How to perform a Buddhist wedding & what guests can expect

 

• How to Perform a Unity Sand Ceremony (for Wedding Officiants)

 

• A Modern Jewish Wedding Ceremony Script With Sand Ceremony

 

• AMM ordains people of all faiths -- from pagans to monotheists, atheists to agnostics!
   

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Ask a Friend to Officiate Your Wedding Ceremony! 

Good things happen when friends and relatives help out at the wedding ceremony! Having a friend officiate your wedding or elopement is a great way to ensure the wedding day is as intimate and personal as it can be. When a loved one officiates, every moment means more! 

Ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding with free online ordination through American Marriage Ministries (AMM). 

|* custom-button, "https://theamm.org/ordination-application", "ORDAINED MINISTER ONLINE APPLICATION" *|

Why AMM? American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expires.

 

Officiating weddings is an incredible honor, and a great way to show your love and support for the people getting married. As a wedding officiant, you will help to create memorable ceremonies and memories that last a lifetime.

AMM Ministers can legally officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in Virginia, where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the link above to get started! 

 

 

Become an ordained minister online with American Marriage Ministries and officiate wedding for friends and relatives. (Photo cropped: O_Lypa / iStock)

 

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