American Weddings Blog

Here’s why it matters where you get ordained, and what your responsibilities are as a wedding minister.

Asking a friend or family member to officiate has become as common as picking bridesmaids. But even with millions of Americans getting ordained to perform weddings, most folk don’t really know what ordination means. Too often, they say “yes” without realizing what they are signing up for. 

Let’s talk about what ordination really is, and what your responsibilities are as a wedding minister. But before we get into the details, I want to remind you that we’ve made getting ordained free and easy for a reason – it’s a rewarding and transformative experience that lets you celebrate love and build community. That’s what matters in life, and as they say, the best things in life are free. 

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You probably have a pretty good idea of what you want your wedding to look like. Perhaps there are certain family members or children you want to include. Maybe you are considering the popular and meaningful sand ceremony. Or, maybe you are thinking about something a little bit different - like a fire unity ceremony!

But where do you look for an officiant that can turn your ambitions into reality? Being officiants ourselves, and having guided our share of couples through this process, we’ve collected some tips to help you decide what sort of officiant is best suited for your big day. 

For couples who believe the wedding ceremony is one of the most significant parts of their wedding -- that’s you, our readers -- the question of who should perform the wedding ceremony is a very important one. Here are some points to consider... 

Should you ask your local Priest, Imam, Rabbi? ...(continued)

Here’s the scenario. The wedding is still a ways off -- because you’re a smart couple, and you’re starting the ceremony planning early -- and you realize that the Bride’s mother’s Catholicism needs to be indulged. She’s old-school, and these sorts of things really matter to her. Further complicating matters, neither of you are religious, and the last thing you want is a wedding ceremony that feels like Catholic mass. 

How do you make everyone happy?

Last month, we published an article about how to create a wedding ceremony that reflects the religious values of the couple and surprise, surprise, it was all about communication. Now, we want to unpack that idea a bit more by looking at non-religious couples with religious families....(continued)

The bride might have been smiling, but everyone knew that she was deeply uncomfortable with the language used by the wedding officiant. And as the ceremony went on, the audience felt her discomfort, and they, too, grew increasingly uncomfortable. Despite the fact that the wedding was being performed by her uncle, it was clear that his religious language was making the bride, an atheist, unhappy. With all of her friends in attendance, her big day was being turned into a religious ceremony, and we all knew that behind her smiles, she was disappointed. 

What went wrong?

It turns out that her well-meaning but uninformed uncle was not aware that his references to God were exactly what the couple wanted to avoid. 

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