12 Fun Nontraditional Ideas for a Lesbian Wedding

12 Fun Ideas for a Lesbian Wedding

 

Two brides are better than one! Whether you’re planning a mostly-traditional wedding with subtle references to your queer community, or an all-in lesbian wedding bash with pride flags in the photo booth, these fun ideas are the perfect place to start planning. 

 

Start with your favorite ideas from the list below, then put your own spin on them to make your ceremony special.

 

Related: What to do After Getting Engaged in 20 Simple Steps

 

 

You're getting married! (Photo: martinedoucet / iStock)

 

 

1. Surprise First Look

 

For couples who love a surprise, plan a sweet ‘first look’ before the ceremony starts: an intimate moment when you see each other dressed in your wedding attire for the first time, looking absolutely incredible.This exciting reveal is a great opportunity for candid wedding photos, but it also means you won’t be able to get ready together…if that’s a dealbreaker, we totally understand. 

 

 

2. Nontraditional Wedding Officiant 

 

Have a friend or family member officiate your wedding ceremony instead of a traditional clergy member or rushed courthouse clerk! This is one of the simplest ways to ensure your wedding officiant understands you, supports your marriage, and can help you plan an authentic wedding ceremony. Friends and family members can get ordained online with American Marriage Ministries for free to perform your wedding, and it only takes a few seconds. 

 

• 5 Great Reasons to Ask a Friend to Officiate Your Wedding

Become a minister today!

 

3. Wedding Sword Exchange

 

Who knows where the ‘lesbians and swords’ trope came from (my money’s on Xena or Julie d'Aubigny), but there’s something undeniable about a babe with a sword. So why not put a sapphic spin on a traditional Viking Wedding Sword Exchange, and trade blades along with wedding bands? Plus your wedding photos will absolutely slay.

 

 

Remember the lesbian wedding I went to back in September

I am allowed to share one (1) wedding photo on my cursed twiter AND I... LOOK AT THEM.... ETHEREAL.... Beautiful brides.... 🥺 pic.twitter.com/RDrP9rXgJe

— J O Y 🍖🍉 (@soysaucetime) December 12, 2019

 

 

4. Nontraditional Wedding Dresses or Suits

 

If you’ve dreamed of walking down the aisle in a white wedding dress or formal tux for years, by all means stick with the classics! But if not, consider a nontraditional wedding look: gowns in bold colors or black, statement veils, satin jumpsuits, stylish suits cut for curves, embroidered tuxedos, sequined cocktail wear, and anything else that makes you feel unstoppable. Choose clothing in coordinating colors, or opt for maximum contrast to match your styles. 

 

Related: Your Guide to Wedding Dresses for a Second Marriage

 

 

5. Bridesmates & Joint Bachelorette Party

 

Elect ‘bridesmates’ or ‘bridespeople’ (instead of just bridesmaids) to include people of all genders in your wedding party if you want to! And while you’re at it, join forces on a joint bachelorette party to celebrate your upcoming marriage with all your favorite people, all at once.

 

Related: Gender Neutral Wedding Terms for Inclusive Officiants

 

 

6. Rock Paper Scissors During the Vow Exchange

 

Include a playful moment in your same-gender wedding ceremony with a quick game of rock paper scissors to decide who goes first during the vow exchange (this will probably get some playful laughter from guests, too). In a traditional opposite-gender wedding, the groom shares his vows first, then the bride, but those boring old rules don’t apply here! 

 

 

 

Planning a sweet same-gender / same-sex wedding ceremony? Create your own traditions or put a personal touch on these timeless favorites to create a wedding that's uniquely YOU. (Photo: SolStock / iStock) 

 

 

7. Walk Down the Aisle Together

 

Walk down the aisle side-by-side as a symbol of your equality and partnership, and as a reminder to each other and your guests that you’ll be together every step of the way from now on – through good times and bad. Of course, if you’d rather embrace tradition and have a parent or beloved elder walk you down the aisle, or have a solo moment in the spotlight to show off your attire, we totally understand! 

 

• Walking Down The Aisle Together: A Modern Wedding Procession

 

8. Log Cutting Wedding Traditions

 

A German ‘wedding log’ cutting ceremony might be the most lesbian lumberjack themed unity ritual ever created, and the symbolism is on point, too: two brides use a long, double-handled saw to cut a log in half, demonstrating their ability to overcome life’s challenges and work together happily in marriage. This wedding tradition is called a ‘Baumstamm sägen’ ceremony in German, by the way, which sounds just as cool as it looks.

 

 

9. Wedding Tattoos (or Temporary Tattoo Wedding Favors)

 

Give your guests a wedding favor they’ll remember for a long, long time – wedding tattoos! Hire a local tattoo artist for your wedding reception and let guests pick a simple tattoo design from a themed flash sheet. If this option is too expensive, or too permanent, hand out temporary tattoos as wedding favors instead.

 

 

10. Hire LGBTQ+ Wedding Vendors and Women-Owned Businesses

 

Celebrate queer love and community by choosing LGBTQ+ vendors and queer-owned or woman-owned venues for the wedding day. Be sure to ask questions to make sure the professionals you choose are aligned with your values, the tone you want for the day, and your wedding budget! 

 

 

 

Want to include friends and family in the wedding ceremony? Loved ones can participate with special readings, help out with unity ceremony, walk you down the aisle, and even serve as wedding officiant. (Photo: AmberLaneRoberts / iStock)

 

 

11. Include a Queer Wedding Reading

 

Choose a wedding reading that resonates with you or symbolizes how you feel about love and marriage. There are many queer poets and female authors to choose from, including Emily Dickinson, Audre Lorde, James Baldwin, Adrienne Rich, Mary Oliver, and many more. Or choose a quote that sums up your feelings on marriage equality, like an excerpt from the Obergefell v Hodges ruling, or this quote from activist Edie Windsor: “Marriage is a magic word. And it is magic throughout the world. It has to do with our dignity as human beings, to be who we are openly.”

 

Related: Same-Sex Wedding Ceremony Script with Reflection on Marriage Equality

 

 

12. Include Your Community in the Ceremony 

 

Involve your loved ones in your wedding ceremony! Ask one or two friends to read a poem, pass around ‘blessing stones’ or other magical objects for friends to infuse with love and support, or have a ring blessing ceremony. Include group vows in your ceremony, where you ask guests to pledge their love and support in your marriage, or give loved ones special roles like wedding officiant, ‘person of honor,’ or ring bearer. And so on! Let your community know you wouldn’t be here without them, and how happy you are to share this special day with them.

 

 

Congratulations! (Photo: FG Trade)

 

---

 

More LGBTQ+ Wedding Ideas

 

• Same-Gender Modern Orthodox Jewish Wedding Ceremony (Feminine Version of Sheva Brachot)
   
• How to Officiate a Same-Sex Wedding Ceremony
   
• For AMM Ministers: Can I Perform Same-Sex Marriage?

 

• A Road Trip Wedding is a Destination Wedding on the GO!
   

---

 

Ask a Friend to Officiate Your Wedding!

Good things happen when friends and relatives help out at the wedding ceremony! Having a friend officiate your wedding is more affordable than hiring a professional officiant, and a great way to ensure the wedding day is as intimate and personal as it can be. When a loved one officiates, every moment means more! 

Ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding with free online ordination through American Marriage Ministries (AMM). 

ORDAINED MINISTER ONLINE APPLICATION

Why choose AMM? American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expires.

AMM Ministers can legally officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in Virginia, where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the link above to get started! 

 

 

Become an ordained minister online with American Marriage Ministries and officiate wedding for friends and relatives. (Photo: iStock)

 

---