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How to Ask Someone to Officiate Your Wedding - Our Favorite Way to Say 'Will You Marry Us?'

Published Monday, Sep. 27th, 2021

Este articulo en español

Two friends and the wedding officiant raise a glass of champagne to toast the newlywed bride and groom after their wedding ceremony, all five of them are smiling happily.

Looking for cute and creative ways to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding? Look no further! 



You’re getting married! Congratulations! 


It’s time to choose the perfect friend or loved one to officiate your wedding ceremony -- someone who will make the occasion just as special and unique as your relationship.


Your ideal officiant might be a childhood friend or sibling, a grandparent or mentor, a college professor, aunt, uncle, cousin, roommate, or beloved neighbor… anyone who’s been a meaningful and memorable part of your lives. 


Have the perfect person in mind? Great! Now show them how honored you’d be to have them preside over the big day by asking them to officiate in a special way. 


Three creative ways to ask someone to officiate your wedding: 


1. Propose!


Our absolute favorite way to ask someone to marry you and your sweetheart is by proposing to them!



Propose! And give them everything they need to do an amazing job



To capture all of the excitement of a true proposal, AMM offers a “Will You Marry Us?” Gift Box that comes with everything you need to set the mood, plus everything your chosen officiant needs to legally perform your wedding! 


It includes a beautiful custom printed box and greeting card, your officiant’s ordination certificate and letter of good standing, any licensing instructions they’ll need to perform a wedding in your state, a step-by-step guide book on how to prepare and deliver a ceremony, a custom AMM stole and lapel pin, and more.


Find this gift box in our store! 



2. Symbol of Friendship


If a proposal isn’t quite your style, present your chosen officiant with a small gift that will remind them of their valued place in your lives.


Great gift ideas include a framed photo of a favorite holiday or vacation spent together, a handwritten card or letter that describes the ways your friendship has grown over time, a bottle of their favorite wine, a brunch date, or a box of their favorite donuts or cigars.



Photograph shows a handwritten note card asking a friend to officiate wedding

Show your loved one how important they are to you,

and why you can't say 'I do' without them. 



Remember, your chosen officiant will still need to get ordained to perform your ceremony (it only takes a few minutes online), and they may need to purchase minister credentials. But don’t worry, AMM’s Weddings By State pages make the officiant registration process very easy to understand. 




3.  The Last Minute Day-of Dash


Ask them to officiate mere moments before you say “I do!” 



Wedding shows three women looking surprised against a pink background, showing that they need someone to step in last minute to officiate a wedding!

Having a friend ordained as a backup officiant can save the day!



Ok, we're kind of joking here... We hope this doesn't happen, and it shouldn't be your Plan A, but there’s always the chance that the person who ends up officiating your wedding won’t know they’ve got the job until the day of the ceremony. Wedding day mishaps and minor disasters do happen, including flat tires, traffic jams, and illnesses, that can cause an otherwise-prompt wedding officiant to miss your ceremony.


In case the unexpected happens, ask a friend to get ordained as a backup officiant before your ceremony, to serve as a ‘wedding officiant understudy’ who can be available on short notice to say a few words and sign your marriage license. Or, be prepared to have a guest perform your ceremony at the last minute by knowing who can solemnize marriages in your state.




Photo shows a young couple asking their friend to officiate their wedding

Ask early!

Your friend or relative will be honored you want them to officiate your wedding ceremony.





Propose to your wedding officiant with the


Will You Marry Us? Gift Box


The Will You Marry Us? Gift Box is a sweet and memorable way to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding. This decorative gift box includes everything your officiant-to-be needs to perform your ceremony, including a copy of the AMM Minister Manual, a copy of Asked to Officiate (the step by step guidebook on writing and delivering a custom wedding ceremony), a satin officiant's stole, lapel pin, tote, and more!


We'll also send your officiant their minister credentials, including an Ordination Certificate and Letter of Good Standing, and any minister licensing materials needed in your state. 










Think you've found 'the one' to officiate your wedding? 

Take this quiz to decide if a certain friend or relative is the perfect officiant for your ceremony... or if you should keep looking. Each question's based on the characteristics and skills needed to be an exceptional wedding officiant.


Should a Friend Officiate Your Wedding? 



Two women embrace in a wedding dress shop, smiling


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Jessica Levey
Jessica Levey

Lead Staff Writer & Illustrator

Jessica loves exploring the history and magic of ritual, the connections between people and places, and sharing true stories about love and commitment. She's an advocate for marriage equality, LGBTQ+ rights, and individuality, and is an ordained Minister with AMM. When she’s not writing or illustrating for AMM, she enjoys city hikes, fantasy novels, comics, and traveling.

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