Asked to officiate a Wiccan wedding or handfasting? Don’t forget to ask the couple these five questions! 

 

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Below are a few questions that every wedding officiant should ask a couple when approached to officiate a Wiccan wedding. 

 

Keep in mind that these questions should be asked in addition to a few standard interview questions – so be sure to ask the basic questions, too! You can find a list of standard questions to ask here.

 

If this is the first time you’ve been asked to officiate a Pagan wedding, or if you don’t know much about Pagan marriage traditions, start here: 

 

When Pagans Wed: Modern Paganism & the Wedding Ritual

 

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Photo: Fibs.Z / iStock

Every Wiccan, and every Wiccan wedding is unique! Ask your couple questions to help them plan their perfect ceremony.

 

 

5 Questions an Officiant Should Ask the Couple When Performing a Wiccan Wedding

 

 

1. Do you want a ‘low key’ Wiccan wedding, or a ceremony that’s obviously Pagan?

 

Some couples want a wedding that includes one or two Wiccan elements in a low-key way, such as a handfasting or candle lighting. This is often the case with interfaith couples, couples with religiously-conservative relatives, and couples who are private about their faith. 

 

Other couples prefer a ceremony that’s overtly Pagan from start to finish. These ceremonies might include many different ritual elements, such as calling the corners; making offerings to gods and spirits; handfasting; or wedding altars adorned with athames, pentagrams, wands, and herbs for spellcasting.

 

As a wedding officiant, it’s important to talk to the couple about how low key, or ‘high key,’ they want their ceremony to be. This information will help guide you as you write the ceremony script and might even inform what you wear (or don’t wear) on the wedding day. 

 

Related: Your Religion, My Religion, or No Religion - Make Sure Your Officiant Knows!

 

 

2. What ritual elements and symbols do you want to include? 

 

Once you know the tone of the ceremony, it’s time to ask the couple which symbols and rituals they want to include. This relates closely to the question above, and helps you and the couple dive into the specific details of the wedding day. 

 

Wiccan weddings often include natural elements like flowers, herbs, and other symbolic botanicals; and symbols like colorful ribbons, candles, stones, and runes. Couples might hold their ceremony along the banks of a river or in a forest setting to connect with gods and spirits. They might want you to include references to these natural elements in your ceremony speech, so make note. 

 

Common Wiccan wedding rituals include casting a circle, calling the corners, candle lighting, smudging, soil blending (like sand blending, but with soil), tree planting, handfasting, bonfire and fire rituals, ritual offerings, and more. If you aren’t already familiar with these rituals, it’s ok to ask questions. Make sure you research each ritual and how it’s performed before the wedding day. 

 

• Read more about Pagan wedding rituals here. 

 

 

Photo: Yevgeniy Sambulov / iStock

 

 

3. What’s meaningful about your chosen wedding date? 

 

Some couples schedule their wedding around practical considerations like overlapping paid-time-off, available childcare, or venue availability. Other couples choose wedding dates because of their personal or spiritual significance, including anniversaries and faith-based holidays.

 

Ask your couple why they chose their wedding date and discuss whether or not the date’s significance plays a role in the ceremony script or ritual elements. For example, you might want to mention a meaningful anniversary during the wedding invocation, or include a moment of silence to reflect on the bounty and beauty of the natural world in honor of Mabon (the Pagan holiday to celebrate the Autumn Equinox). 

 

4. Are there any spiritual readings or Pagan blessings you want me to include? 

 

Traditional Wiccan marriage rites are a unique type of magick, and might include ritual spellcasting, spiritual readings, and Pagan blessings. Ask your couple if they have specific readings and blessings in mind. 

 

If you have a few favorite nature-themed poems and readings of your own, especially readings that reflect on humankind’s connection with the natural world, bring a copy with you to the meeting. This way, you’ll have it with you in case the couple asks you for a suggestion. 

 

• Browse various Wedding Readings here

 

 

Photo: Emily Underworld / Unsplash

 

 

5. Can I touch the wedding altar? 

 

This question is important if your couple is including a traditional Wiccan wedding altar in their ceremony. In general, altars have deep spiritual significance and should only be touched by the couple being married – unless an officiant has their explicit permission. 

 

Talk to the couple about altar etiquette, and clarify ahead of time what items you can touch and which you should leave alone. For example, sometimes the handfasting cord or wedding rings will be kept on the altar during the ceremony, and it’s ok for an officiant to remove them when it’s time for the exchange. Other times, these should be kept in a pocket or on another table instead. Candle lighting ceremonies might be performed around an altar, but only touched by the couple. 

 

A quick conversation will help clear this up for everyone! 

 

Related: Pagan Wedding Altars : An Illustrated Look at a Year and a Day Altar

 

 

For a longer list of questions to ask every wedding couple before you officiate their ceremony, check out: 

 

• 5 Questions a Great Wedding Officiant Will Always Ask

 

• 55 Questions a Wedding Officiant Can Ask a Couple to *Really* Get to Know Them

 

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