Hey, Lady Gaga! Instead of a Courthouse Wedding, a Porch Wedding?

A humble suggestion to Lady Gaga & Michael Polansky: Skip the courthouse wedding and elope in a cute ‘just us’ porch wedding 

 

The next time you walk into the courthouse to apply for a marriage license or dispute a parking ticket – keep an eye out for Lady Gaga in a wedding gown.

 

The superstar told Jimmy Kimmel on air this week that she and fiance Michael Polansky are considering a courthouse wedding, followed by Chinese food, instead of the usual wedding drama. Well, a courthouse wedding or a circus wedding with unicorns:

 

“We’re not exactly sure yet,” Gaga said when Kimmel asked about their wedding plans. “We actually talk a lot about just going to a courthouse just the two of us and [then] ordering Chinese food. But also, knowing me, it could become like a circus with unicorns.”

 

Knowing Lady Gaga, these two options seem equally likely; the megastar moves easily between extremes, from bare-faced to full beat, sequins and soft lace to raw meat.

 

Still, we’d like to humbly suggest a third option: A secret porch wedding! 

 

Hear us out… Tiny elopements like these are trending for a reason.

 

 

Take your wedding vows with a view! The photo above is a screenshot from The Grand Hotel's virtual porch tour, showing the view from the west end. Beautiful!  (Photo: Screenshot via The Grand Hotel Photo Galleries)

 

 

Lady Gaga, you told Kimmel on Tuesday that you “love a porch,” and honestly, who doesn’t love a casual porch hang? Nice breeze, chill vibes, fond memories – the perfect place to gather with friends, and a perfect place to exchange wedding vows. 

 

It got us thinking… Why not skip the courthouse and ask a friend to marry you in a ‘just us’ elopement on the porch of your dreams? If you love a porch, you just might adore a porch wedding!

 

Related: 3 Things to Know Before Having a ‘Just Us’ Wedding Ceremony

 

A ‘just us’ elopement has all the benefits of a courthouse wedding with none of the downside. They’re sweet and simple, but you don’t have to stand next to strangers reporting for jury duty, or filing for divorce, or heading to an arraignment. 

 

It will be just you, Polansky, and your wedding officiant there, to make the wedding legal. 

 

Related: Courthouse Wedding vs Sign and Go Wedding: Comparing the Benefits

 

And you’ve got a lot of friends who would make great officiants, many of whom have already officiated weddings in the past! Cardi B would be a great choice (Cardi B officiated an LGBTQ+ wedding on Cardi Tries, remember?); Bradley Cooper would probably love to crash your wedding; and Taylor Swift would absolutely rock it as a wedding officiant – she’s all about honesty and authenticity and knows how to keep a secret. Taylor gives a great wedding speech, plus we think she’s had weddings on her mind for a while now…

 

Related: How to Choose an Officiant & Why a Friend Might Be Best

 

And you can pick a porch with big energy if you want to keep things bold and on brand! Here are a few fabulous and famous porches to choose from:

 

Maybe the porch at Mackinac Island's Grand Hotel? At 660 feet long, it’s the longest front porch in the world (pictured above). Thomas Edison's first public demonstration of the first record player, the phonograph, happened on this porch, which we think you’d appreciate – having sold an estimated 170 million records!

 

Or how about the spectacular porch in front of The Willcox Hotel in Aiken, South Carolina? It’s seen the likes of Churchill and Vanderbilt, Elizabeth Arden and Count Bernadette of Sweden, so it’s certainly fit for pop royalty. 

 

Maybe an incognito elopement during a New Orleans Porch Fest? Imagine the costumes! The music! The gorgeous queens!

 

Or maybe something international… a destination elopement at The Porch of the Maidens in Athens, Greece? Can you picture exchanging wedding vows alongside these six famous sisters – the carved Caryatids of Erechtheion of the Acropolis? We sure can.

 

Or perhaps a romantic visit to Portico di San Luca in Bologna, Italy? A stunning portico, a majestic street-level porch, in one of the most beautiful places in the world! 

 

Related: How to Get Married in Another Country in a Dreamy Destination Wedding

 

You get the idea.

 

Getting married at City Hall would be very New Yorker of you, Lady Gaga, but you can capture the same ease and intimacy somewhere beautiful, in a ‘just us’ secret elopement, too. (Unicorn-themed wedding dress optional.)

...

 

Watch the full Jimmy Kimmel Live segment with Lady Gaga below. She talks wedding plans, Michael's wedding proposal, her role as Harley Quinn in Joker: Folie à Deux, the new Harlequin album, secret shows, and more.

 

 

 

 

---

 

Get Ordained Online to Officiate Weddings for the Rockstars in Your Life, with Help From AMM!  

 

Get ordained online free with AMM and learn how to become a wedding officiant for friends and relatives! 

|* custom-button, "https://theamm.org/ordination-application", "ORDAINED MINISTER ONLINE APPLICATION" *|

Why AMM? American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expires.

 

Officiating weddings is an incredible honor, and a great way to show your love and support for the people getting married. As a wedding officiant, you will help to create memorable ceremonies and memories that last a lifetime.

AMM Ministers can legally officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in Virginia, where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the link above to get started! 

 

 

Become an ordained minister online with American Marriage Ministries and officiate wedding for friends and relatives. (Photo: franckreporter / iStock)

 

---

More Celebrity Wedding News to Inspire You:

 

 

• NBA’s Giannis Antetokounmpo Marries in Super Private Wedding
   
• What to Expect at Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s Wedding…
   
• Lenny Kravitz Might ‘Wing’ His Wedding Toast, But You’d Better Not
   

---