Inclusive Modern Orthodox Jewish Wedding Ceremony Script

KETUBAH CEREMONY / SIGNING OF THE KETUBAH

Note to the Officiant : Before the ceremony, we will have the signing of the Ketubah. The Ketubah is an ancient document and is a marriage contract that lays out the couple's commitment to each other.  It is signed by two (Jewish) witnesses, neither of whom can be blood-related family members of the couple.

• Officiant, Partner A, Partner B, Witnesses sign the Ketubah.
   

BADEKEN

• AFTER THE KETUBAH SIGNING, THERE IS A SHORT BUT MEANINGFUL RITUAL WHERE Partner COVERS THE Partner’S FACE WITH THEIR VEIL.  (Typically female)

'Unplugged Ceremony' Announcement / Housekeeping Announcements

OFFICIANT to the guests

Good (afternoon/ morning/ evening)! I welcome you to (Partner A) and (Partner B)'s ceremony.

Before we begin, I would like everyone to join me in the especially important and traditional custom of turning the volume of your cell phones up as high as possible so that when somebody gets a phone call during the ceremony, we all know whom to blame. Alternatively, please silence and put away your phones and cameras, as (Partner A) and (Partner B) would like you to be present with them at this extraordinary moment. The ceremony will begin shortly. 

PROCESSION

Processional music begins, and the couple, their family, and their wedding party enter in the following order: 

1. Partner A's Grandparents
2. Partner B's Grandparents
3. Partner A's Attendants/ Wedding Party
4. Partner A – with Parents or Escorts
5. Partner B's Attendants/ Wedding Party  
6. Flower Person / Ring Bearer

OFFICIANT to guests

Please rise.

• 7. Partner B Enters Last with Parents

OFFICIANT to guests

Please be seated.

WELCOME TO CHUPPAH

OFFICIANT to guests and couple

We welcome (Partner A) and (Partner B) under the chuppah with a blessing… Bruchot ha’baot b’shem Adonai - Blessed are you who come in the name of the Eternal!  

Officiant's Welcome 

OFFICIANT to all

Welcome, one and all.  How beautiful is the day that is touched by love?  May this be a moment to be remembered and cherished.

MOMENT OF SILENCE / Rememberance of loved ones

• This part of the ceremony is Optional

OFFICIANT to guests

(Partner A) and (Partner B) would like to take a moment to remember the loved ones who cannot be here to share this moment with them today.  They hold these loved ones close to their hearts, so at this time, we would like to take a moment of silence to honor those loved ones who are not here with us today.  

(Moment of silence). 

Introduction

OFFICIANT to guests and couple

In a Jewish wedding, The Chuppah – a drape of cloth suspended on four poles, under which the Wedding Blessings are said – is this Sanctuary.  Surrounded by loved ones whose joy and prayers are with you, you stand at this chuppah, a symbol of your new home.

Its four sides are open, symbolizing the importance of community and participation in each other’s lives.  Friends and family will fill your home.  May your home be a shelter against the storms, a haven of peace, a stronghold of faith and love.

Committing to each other is a unique spiritual connection of two people united for a common purpose, bringing love and trust together into a single focus.  We have come together in the presence of God and Love to witness and bless the joining of Partner #2 and Partner #1. 

The union of heart, body, and mind is intended for mutual joy, for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity, and their nurture in the knowledge and love of God.  Therefore, this marriage is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was intended.

Learn more about the Chuppah / Huppah wedding tradition:

+ What Does a Chuppah Symbolize? A Look at the Jewish Wedding Canopy

 

Words of Wisdom

OFFICIANT to guests and couple

Sooner or later, we begin to understand that love is more than verses on valentines and romance in movies.

We begin to know that love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives. Love is the creator of our favorite memories and the foundation of our fondest dreams.

Without love, we merely exist.  With love, we truly begin to live!

Love is a promise that is always kept, a fortune that can never be spent, a seed that can flourish in even the most unlikely place.  And this radiance that never fades, this mysterious and magical joy, is the greatest treasure of all - one known only by those who truly love.

Today, we are together as friends, relatives, and family to mark the end of one beginning and officially recognize a new beginning, which for (Partner A) and (Partner B) serves as a public affirmation of their friendship and love.

This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is marvelous; it cannot be found by looking for it or passionately wishing for it.  It's a destiny.

There are no vows so solemn as those you are about to make.  There is no institution of the earth so sacred as that of the union you will form, for the true home is not only the place in which you will live but is also the dwelling place where each lives in the heart and mind of the other.

Charge to the Couple

OFFICIANT to the couple 

(Partner A) and (Partner B), true marriage is the holiest of all earthly unions. It is to be entered into reverently, consciously, and with the complete understanding of its significance.

To be complete, marriage must be spiritual as well as an earthly state. Spiritual in thought, purpose, plan, and action becomes the harmonious, peaceful and happy union for you as a couple.

Marriage only works when it is based upon a deep, inner communion of two souls who find completion, each in the other.

Today, your separate lives, each with your individual memories, desires, and hopes, merge into one life - a new dimension.  

Just remember that love and marriage consist of many things.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is at no time taking the other for granted. . . for what you take for granted disappears.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in a spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and not bring it up later.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful in each other.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.  It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding, and a sense of humor.

It is not only committing to the right partner; it is BEING the right partner.

This commitment can be a great adventure when it is the outward expression of a great love; such love is characterized by compassion, passion, and courage.

It allows you to see through to your partner's essence, be willing to be in total support of your partner's well-being, goals, purpose, and spirit, and be unwilling for your partner to be less than all they can be spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Such love requires that you be honest with yourself and your mate, ask for what you want, take action even though you are afraid, share your feelings and listen but leave your partner free to be who they are.  In other words, always love your partner for who they are, not for who you think they should be.

Kiddush/ BLESSING OF WINE

• during this part of the ceremony, Partner A and Partner B hold the cup as part of a blessing / unity ceremony

Officiant to the couple

Two thoughts are suggested by this cup of wine.  The first is that wine symbolizes the sweetness we wish for your life.  Sometimes you drink from other cups, bitter ones, but life offers the opportunity to savor the sweetness.  The awareness of the possibility of a life filled with true meaning is what we toast: the good that is life.  

The second is that wine is a symbol of sharing.  You have shared many years together, and out of this time has grown the love that brought you to this day.  As you continue to share in each other’s life, you will, as a symbol of this enduring cooperation, share this cup of wine.

(Partner A) and (Partner B), lift the cup of wine or grape juice and recite the following: 

Baruch ata Ado-ai, Elokeinu Melech ha-olam, boreh p'ri hagafen. 
Blessed are You, G-d, Ruler of the universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.

• The couple lifts the cup and recites the blessing together.

Declaration of Consent 

Officiant to Partner A

Do you, (Partner A), take (Partner B), in the presence of Hashem and your family and friends as witnesses, to be your (wife/ husband/ partner in life) and your one true love?

Partner A

I do

Officiant to Partner A

Do you now make a lifetime commitment to be a considerate, tender, faithful, loving (wife/ husband/ partner), to encourage, comfort, and cherish (Partner B) in times of prosperity, as well as in times of trouble?

Partner A

I do

Officiant to Partner A

Do you pledge to establish a loving home for your own family, make (her/ him/ them and your children) the priority in your life, and nurture your special relationship always?

Partner A

I do

Officiant to Partner b

Do you, (Partner B), take (Partner A), in the presence of Hashem and your family and friends as witnesses, to be your (wife/ husband/ partner in life) and your one true love?

Partner b

I do

Officiant to Partner b

Do you now make a lifetime commitment to be a considerate, tender, faithful, loving (wife/ husband/ partner), to encourage, comfort, and cherish (Partner A) in times of prosperity, as well as in times of trouble?

Partner B

I do

Officiant to Partner B

Do you pledge to establish a loving home for your own family, make (her/ him/ them and your children) the priority in your life, and nurture your special relationship always?

Partner B

I do

HAKAFOT : Circling of the spouse

OFFICIANT to guests

In Jewish tradition, the Partners circle one another to symbolize their protection of one another separately.  

• If Bride and groom:  Bride will circle the groom 7 times.
• If LGBTQ+ couple:  Partner B will circle the Partner A 3 times.  Partner A will circle Partner B 3 times, and then together, they will join hands and walk in a circle together to show protection as a family.

EXCHANGE OF VOWS & RINGS

OFFICIANT TO COUPLE

Please take each other’s rings and hold them close to your heart…

As by these rings you symbolize your marriage bond, may their meaning sink into your hearts and bind your lives together by dedication and faithfulness to each other.  Truly, then, will these rings celebrate the words of the Song of Songs (8:6-7):

Wear me as a seal upon your heart,
As a seal upon your arm;
for love is strong as death,
passion fierce as the grave.
For love is infinitely strong.
Many waters cannot quench love;
No flood can sweep it away.

• OFFICIANT WILL SAY TO THE RING BEARER : "MAY I HAVE THE RINGS, PLEASE?"

oFFICIANT TO COUPLE

The wearing of a wedding ring is the outward sign of your inner commitment.  It says to the world, "I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.” We place the wedding band on our hands in two stages: first, it is placed on the right forefinger by the other and then moved to the traditional ring finger on the left hand.  We do this for two reasons.

The first is that marriage is a free will act of commitment.  You freely choose to be with the other.  To place your ring on your own ring finger, as you will do in a moment, is a symbolic way of making the commitment public.  

The second reason is that the forefinger of the right hand is called the Heart Finger, for a vein runs from that finger directly to the heart.  When your vows are exchanged, you speak heart to heart, and thus it is appropriate for the ring to touch the Heart Finger.

As a token of this love and devotion for each other and of this covenant of marriage, I ask each of you to recite the words of the Prophet Hosea and to place a ring onto the finger of your betrothed as you do so:

With this ring, 
I betroth you to me forever; 
I betroth you to me, 
in righteousness and justice; 
in love and compassion; 
I betroth you to me in everlasting faithfulness.  

• THE COUPLE REPEATS EACH LINE TOGETHER IN UNISON AFTER IT'S SPOKEN

Officiant TO PARTNER B

Partner B, please repeat after me:

I choose you this day,
to love and confide in,
to hold on to and to reach out from.

• PARTNER B REPEATS EACH LINE AS IT IS SPOKEN 

Officiant to Partner A

Partner A, please repeat after me:

I choose you this day,
to love and confide in,
to hold on to and to reach out from.

• PARTNER A REPEATS EACH LINE AS IT IS SPOKEN 

Officiant to the couple

Together, please repeat:

Ani L’Dodi, V’Dodi Li

• The couple repeat this line together

Reading of Ketubah

• This section of the ceremony is optional, and should only be included if the couple wants it to be read – either in Hebrew or English.

SHEVA BRACHOT (Bra-CHOT) / The seven blessings

• This is the non-Traditional – English version of the seven blessings

OFFICIANT to the couple

Today represents one of your best days as partners and the beginning of many more days to come. 

Your family and friends will now offer you the Seven wedding blessings.  These blessings are offered to enhance your joy on this day and to accompany you throughout your marriage.  May they act to further the feelings of awe throughout your marriage.  As you hear these blessings, may you think about the future you are building together.

May you be blessed with love.  May your admiration, appreciation, and understanding of each other foster a love that is passionate, tranquil, and real.  May this love between you be strong and enduring, and bring peace into your lives.

May you be blessed with a loving home filled with warmth, humor, and compassion.  May you create a family together that honors traditions old and new.  

May you be best friends and work together to build a relationship of substance and quality.  May your sense of humor and playful spirit continue to enliven your relationship.  May you respect each other’s individual personalities and perspectives and give each other room to grow in fulfilling your dreams. 

May you be blessed with wisdom.  May you continually learn from one another and from the world.  Together, may you grow, deepening your knowledge and understanding of each other and of your journey through life. 

May you be blessed with health.  May life bring you wholeness of mind, body, and spirit.  May you keep each other well-balanced and grounded and live long so that you may share many happy years together. 

May your life be blessed with the art and beauty of this world.  May your creative aspirations and experiences find expression, inspire you, and bring you joy and fulfillment.  May you find happiness together in adventures, big and small, and something to celebrate each day of your lives. 

May you be blessed with community.  May you always be blessed with the awareness that you are an essential part of a circle of family and friends.  May there always be love, trust, support, and laughter within this group, and may there be many future occasions for rejoicing in their company. 

CLOSING words

OFFICIANT to guests and couple

So many gifts we are offered today.  The gift of witnessing the union of (Partner A) and (Partner B), to the love and commitment they have expressed in the presence of Hashem, their families, and friends.  We wish them all the happiness the world has to offer and bless them throughout their lives together.  May you never take each other for granted but always experience the wonders of your union.

BREAKING OF the GLASS

• A wrapped glass is placed at the feet of the couple. This can be wrapped in a cloth or foil.

Officiant to guests and couple

We conclude today with the Breaking of the Glass.

The breaking of the glass holds multiple meanings within the Jewish faith.  Some say it represents the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.  Others say it demonstrates that marriage has sorrow and joy and represents the commitment to stand by one another even in hard times.  It is also to remind us that like glass is fragile, so are human relationships.  

Once the glass is broken, it can never return to what it was.  As you break this glass today, you will find it will take a conscious effort.  So, may your bond of love be as difficult to break as it would be to put back together these pieces of glass.  Knowing that this marriage is permanent, may the two of you strive daily to show each other love and respect.

After the glass is broken, I invite everyone to shout the Hebrew words “Mazel Tov,” meaning, Good Luck and Congratulations, but before the glass is broken, it is with great joy that I present (Partner A) and (Partner B), married both in law and in love.

• Couple stomps on and breaks glass
• Guests shout Mazel Tov!!!!

THE RECESSIONAL 

• Ceremony ends, the couple exit down the aisle.

Yichud

The Yichud is the moment the couple comes together in a private room following the ceremony with no one else around. This part of the wedding day is optional, and it's up to the couple whether they want to do this tradition. What they do in the yichud room is private.