Fun Ways to Include Kids in Your Elopement Plans

How to Include Kids in Elopement Ceremonies

 

There are lots of fun and meaningful ways to include your kids in your elopement day. 

 

Eloping is a popular choice for families who want to get married in a low-stress ceremony that costs less than a traditional wedding. When you have kids, eloping helps you save your money for other important things, including more family fun – a family vacation, new games for family night, holiday gifts, a new car or downpayment, or a college fund.

 

What does it mean to elope? 

 

An Elopement ceremony is much smaller than a traditional wedding and is usually held in a nontraditional venue, such as a park, cafe, walk-in wedding chapel, museum, city hall, or home. Elopements have fewer than 20 guests, and some elopements are attended only by the couple, their kids, and the wedding officiant. A smaller guest list makes an elopement a very special and intimate wedding experience. 

 

Eloping with kids can be so much fun! Your kids can help with planning the celebration, pose for photos, join in family unity ceremonies, or deliver special readings. You can include your kids in family-focused marriage vows, or give them little jobs to do throughout the day to help them feel welcome and valued.

Below are a few of our favorite ways to elope with kids, along with important tips on how to include kids in elopement ceremonies. 

 

Looking for creative elopement ideas with kids? Keep reading for fun suggestions on including children in your elopement celebration. (Photo: Olga Yefimova / iStock)

 

How to Elope with Kids: 5 Tips to Include Children in Your Elopement

 

1. Talk to Kids About What it Means to Elope

 

As you would with any kind of wedding celebration, take time to talk to your kids about what it means to elope.

 

 In your own words, let kids know that eloping is a simple and intimate way to celebrate a family’s love and commitment for each other. Instead of inviting a big group of people, elopements include just close family or close friends, giving you the chance to make special memories together. 

 

If you aren’t inviting friends and family to the elopement, consider having a reception party afterwards so that everyone can celebrate together and share in the joy. 

 

Related: What Does It Mean to Elope & Is It Right for You?

 

 

2. Include Kids in Planning an Elopement

 

Depending on how old your children are, you might want to include them in the planning process. 

 

In general, eloping takes less planning than a traditional wedding because there are fewer ‘moving parts’ on the wedding day – fewer wedding vendors to vet and hire, fewer worries about decor or decorations, simpler venue options. In some cases, you’ll simply make an appointment with a wedding officiant, show up to take your vows and complete your marriage license! 

 

But even with a simple elopement, there are lots of big and little ways to get kids involved in planning. Here are a few examples:

 

• Help choose a special place to elope

 

Children can help you choose an elopement location that holds a special meaning for the family, such as a favorite park or museum, the first place you went for dinner as a family (blended family), or a vacation destination you’ve always dreamed about visiting together 

 

• Help choose your elopement outfit (or outfits)

 

Children can help you pick out a wedding outfit by visiting a specialty boutique to buy something new, or choosing their favorite fancy outfit of yours from your closet. Take time to try different outfits and combinations on, and bring some humor into the process to create special memories. 

 

• Choose where to eat before or after the ceremony 

 

One of the easiest ways to involve kids in the big day is to let them choose where to eat! This will be more fun if you can stay flexible and let them choose their favorite cafe or restaurant. Involving children in the ceremony itself can come with certain stressors, so this is a simple way to include children without giving them added responsibilities.

 

• Make a playlist for the drive to the venue

 

Give your kids free reign to choose the tunes you’ll listen to on the way to the venue! If you’re worried their musical tastes might add to your anxiety, give them a few guidelines – ask for a ‘romantic’ wedding playlist, their favorite love songs, or a playlist of old-school songs that remind them of you and your partner.

 

Plan a fun first look wedding moment with your kids! (Photo: martinedoucet / iStock)

 

 

2. Have a Wedding ‘First Look’ With Your Kid/s

 

A traditional wedding ‘first look’ is when the couple sees each other for the first time before the ceremony, dressed up in their wedding finery. This usually happens privately in an intimate moment before guests arrive. 

 

To adapt this special ‘first look’ moment for an elopement with kids, you might ask a special friend or relative to watch your child/ren while you and your partner get dressed. (Kids can use this time to get dressed up in their wedding outfits too.) Once you’re ready, rejoin your friend and child/ren and reveal your fancy elopement outfits! 

 

 

3. Include Kids in the Elopement Ceremony

 

In general, an elopement ceremony is simpler and shorter than a traditional wedding ceremony. But you can still include special elements in your elopement to make it feel uniquely ‘you,’ to honor what makes your family so special. 

 

To involve your kids in the elopement, consider these options: 

 

• Ring Bearer

 

Ask child/ren to hold your wedding rings until the ring exchange

 

Related: 8 Creative Alternatives to a Flower Girl or Ring Bearer for Your Wedding Ceremony

 

• Vow Booklet / Vow Cards Holder

 

If you write your own vows in a vow booklet or on index cards, ask your children to hold your vows until it’s time for the vow exchange

 

Related: These Sweet Vow Books Include Prompts to Help You Write Your Own Vows

 

• Special Reading

 

Ask your children to read a meaningful poem, song, scripture, or letter during the ceremony. If you have a musical kid, ask them to play an instrument or sing a favorite love song or hymn (or an original song!) after you exchange your vows and the officiant pronounces you married.

 

• Family Unity Ceremony 

 

Almost all wedding unity ceremony ideas can be adapted to include kids! Some fun ideas are: 

 

Family Sand Ceremony: A unity sand ceremony where each family member has their own color of sand to pour into a decorative keepsake vase. 

 

Read: How to Perform a Unity Sand Ceremony (for Wedding Officiants)

 

Family Unity Painting Ceremony: A unity painting ceremony where each family member has their own color of paint to pour or paint onto a canvas to symbolize connection and love.

 

Read: How to Include a Unity Painting Ceremony in Your Wedding

 

Family Handfasting: A handfasting ceremony where all family members place their hands together (stacking hands) during the ceremony, and the wedding officiant ties a cord or ribbon around their wrists to symbolize their unbreakable family bond.

 

Read: How to Include a Handfasting in Your Wedding Ceremony or Vow Renewal

 

Family Unity Candle Ceremony: A unity candle ceremony where all family members have a small lit candle representing them as an individual, which they use to light a larger Unity Candle together. This symbolizes that life is brighter when you’re together as a family. 

 

Read: FAQs About the Unity Candle Ceremony, Including When, How, Who, Where, and Why!

 

Family Unity Bracelet/s or Necklace/s: A unity ceremony in which each family member places a different color bead on a bracelet or necklace, to symbolize their place in the family. Create matching bracelets or necklaces during the ceremony so that everyone has their own to wear! 

 

Browse all Wedding Unity Ceremony Ideas

 

 

Involve kids in the elopement ceremony with fun and simple jobs like holding the bouquet, reading a poem, or joining in a family unity ceremony.  (Photo: CihatDeniz / iStock)

 

 

4. Include Kids in Family Wedding Vows

 

There are a few different ways to approach ‘family wedding vows.’ The best fit will depend on how old your kids are and if you want to write your own personal vows (or use ‘repeat after me’ style vows). 

Here are a few family wedding vow examples for parents and kids: 

 

Mention your kids in your vows to your new spouse. For example: 

 

“I vow to be a loving and patient mother to Abby, and to share in all the responsibilities and joys of raising her beside you.” 

 

Related: How to Write Wedding Vows Using the Three Question Template

 

Make special or funny vows to your children in addition to your wedding vows to your partner. For example, after reading your vows to your partner, you might turn to your child/ren and say: 

 

“I promise to love you and be honest with you, to be a dad you can trust and that trusts you. I promise to protect you, and respect you, and I will try to keep the embarrassing moments in front of your friends to a minimum…” 

 

Ask your kids to write their own personal vows, and then exchange vows together as a family during your elopement. Each family member can take a turn reading their vows to the rest of the family. A child’s family vows might sound like: 

 

“I promise to love you both/all no matter what, and to be a part of our new family, to join in family dinners and hang out with you and watch movies together. I promise to help out around the house, to be kind, and to listen to you guys, and to remember that you love me very much. I’m so happy we are a family!”

 

 

Plan a fun elopement with children! Include them in planning an elopement, in the ceremony itself, or create special moments together before and after the ceremony with music, food, and photos. (Photo: SolStock / iStock)

 

 

5. Ask Kids to Help Document Your Elopement

 

Ask kids to help you document and commemorate your elopement with photos, videos, written stories, and drawings. 

 

Before the ceremony, kids can document the getting-ready process with photos or videos, or take fun photos on the way to the venue. 

 

During the ceremony, kids can take photos and videos of you exchanging wedding rings and wedding vows. 

 

After the ceremony, spend time with your kids writing down your thoughts and feelings about the day. Once you’ve put your memories down on paper in words or drawings, put them together in a scrapbook or wedding diary, or scan them to create a digital copy that you can share with friends and family members for years to come. 

 

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A Children's Book About the Role of the Wedding Officiant

& the Parts of a Wedding Ceremony 

 

Wynn the Wedding Officiant 

Meet Wynn, a kid who LOVES weddings and dreams about becoming a wedding officiant one day! (Image: Cover of Wynn the Wedding Officiant, written and illustrated by Jessica Levey, published by AMM)

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Put on your fairy wings & rainbow shoes, it’s time for a wedding story

 

Inspire kids to join in the wedding celebration and learn about all kinds of love! This book introduces the important role of the wedding officiant and highlights a few popular roles for young children to play in a wedding—like being a 'flower fairy,' ring bearer, wedding guest, or reading a poem.

 

Kids will explore the different parts of a wedding ceremony, from walking down the aisle to exchanging vows and hearing the magic words, 'I pronounce you married!' A simple glossary at the back of the book will help expand their wedding vocabulary, introducing key words and ideas they might encounter on the big day.
 

This inclusive picture book is perfect for children 3 and up, with colorful illustrations depicting a variety of wedding styles and families. Written and illustrated by Jessica Levey. 

 

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Let Your Loved One Officiate Your Wedding or Elopement Ceremony! 

Good things happen when friends and relatives help out at the wedding ceremony! Having a friend officiate your elopement is a great way to ensure the wedding day is as intimate and personal as it can be. When the guest list is small, every moment means more! 

Ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding with free online ordination through American Marriage Ministries (AMM). 

|* custom-button, "https://theamm.org/ordination-application", "ORDAINED MINISTER ONLINE APPLICATION" *|

Why AMM? American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expires.

 

Officiating weddings is an incredible honor, and a great way to show your love and support for the people getting married. As a wedding officiant, you will help to create memorable ceremonies and memories that last a lifetime.

AMM Ministers can legally officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in Virginia, where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the link above to get started! 

 

 

Become an ordained minister online with American Marriage Ministries and officiate wedding for friends and relatives. (Photo cropped: Biserka Stojanovic / iStock)

 

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More Kid Friendly Wedding Ideas: 

 

• Wedding Ceremony Script With Covenant Of Children
   
• Involve Children in Planning Your Microwedding Ceremony with Seasonal Crafts
   
• New Kids’ Book About Weddings, Love & Wedding Officiants!

 

• 6 Fun Kids Books About Same-Sex Marriage & LGBTQ+ Families
   
• Simple Vow Renewal Ceremony Script With Recognition of Children
   

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