How to Officiate a Wedding For the First Time

Want to officiate a wedding? Here's how to become a wedding officiant & marry someone for the first time

 

This is a simplified look at the steps you’ll need to take to perform a wedding for the very first time -- from becoming an ordained minister to signing the marriage license!  

 

In each step, we've linked to additional resources offering detailed information to help you thoroughly understand what comes next, no matter where you are in the process. 
 

How to Become an Officiant and Officiate a Wedding (the Easy Way!)

 

 

1. Get ordained online 

 

This first step is simpler than it might seem. You can become ordained right now with American Marriage Ministries (AMM) by filling out our free online ordination application.

 

AMM's ordinations are legal, recognized in every state (except Virginia), and we don’t require you to hold any particular spiritual beliefs. As an inclusive, interfaith, nondenominational organization, AMM's welcome people of all faiths, spiritual backgrounds, and beliefs, including atheists and agnostics.

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2. Check your state’s minister registration requirements.

 

Next, find out if you need to register as a minister in your state or county in order to perform marriage. Not all states or counties require registration, but many do. Order your minister credentials early, and register with enough time before the wedding date to avoid unexpected delays or stress.

 

• Officiant Registration by State

 

 

3. Talk to your couple about the type of ceremony they want 

 

Talk to the nearly-weds to find out more about their relationship and the type of ceremony they want to have. Ask about how they met, what makes them so perfect together, and any special elements they want to include (or avoid) in their wedding ceremony.  

 

Be sure to ask if they want a religious or nonreligious wedding, and how they want to be introduced during the wedding pronouncement, as in "I now pronounce you..." You’ll also want to ask how many guests will be there, and what the overall tone or feel of the day will be. 

 

For more tips on what questions to ask the couple to personalize the wedding, check out the links below! 

 

• Nail Down The Logistics
• Gather Info for the Ceremony

 

 

4. Research sample wedding scripts online to see what makes a great ceremony.

 

All officiants start at the same place: the beginning! Get off to a solid start by doing a little research online. Learn more about the common parts of a wedding ceremony; browse sample wedding officiant scripts for inspiration and ideas; and watch recordings of simple ceremonies for an idea of what to say and do on the big day.  If you’re writing the wedding ceremony from scratch, make sure it includes a welcome, a declaration of intent, and a pronouncement.

 

You're in luck, because you can find all of these useful resources on the AMM website and YouTube channel! Check out the links below to get started: 

 

• Wedding Ceremony Outline & Order : Understanding the Parts of a Wedding Ceremony
• Officiant Training Pages
• Sample Wedding Ceremony Scripts for Officiants
• Watch Examples of a Wedding Ceremony, delivered by a professional wedding officiant

 

AMM also offers hundreds of articles written by and for wedding officiants, to make learning how to officiate a wedding more fun. Our “first time officiant” tag will help you find articles written just for you! 

 

 

Ask the nearlyweds which special elements they most want to include in the ceremony,

and which they want to avoid. This might include a unity ceremony, a special wedding ring, an exchange of personal wedding vows or family vows, and more!

 

 

5. Practice the wedding script before the ceremony

 

Read your script out loud until it feels familiar and natural. Time it! Then show the couple your script to get their feedback, and make any needed changes. Practice any special unity rituals included in the ceremony. 

 

You can find instructions on performing customs like handfasting and sand ceremonies on our Blog (just enter the term you want to find in the search bar), along with tips on holding a rehearsal with your couple, getting over stage fright, and more. Practice, practice, practice!

 

Tips on how to practice an officiant speech: 

 

• Rehearse and Polish
• Rehearse and Internalize

 

 

6. Officate the wedding! Deliver your speech and pronounce the couple married

 

The wedding day! The most important job of the officiant on the wedding day (besides signing the marriage license) is to make things as calm and joyful for the couple as possible.

 

Show up to the wedding venue early, talk to any special guests involved in the ceremony to make sure they have everything they need, and keep your energy and focus on the stars of the day -- the couple! 

 

Remember: If you have your script with you and show up early, all of your preparation and excitement will pay off. Don’t forget to have fun and create wonderful memories! 

 

• How to Lead the Ceremony with Conviction and Confidence

 

 

7. Sign the marriage license after the wedding 

 

After you deliver the ceremony, it's time to sign the marriage license. It’s the couple’s responsibility to bring the marriage license to the ceremony, and it’s your responsibility to sign it as their officiant. 

 

For step by step instructions on how to fill out a marriage license, click here:

 

• Officiant Training: Completing the Marriage License 

 

Details on Returning the Marriage License

 

After the marriage license is signed, it will need to be returned and filed with the clerk's office. Some states require the wedding officiant to file the license with the county, but others require the couple to return it themselves.

 

The clerk should give instructions on how to return a marriage license when the couple applies for one. Check with your local clerk's office for more details.

 

Deadline to return a marriage license: Every state has a deadline to return a marriage license, called the 'Return Period' or 'Return Date.' This is the number of days you have to file your marriage license after the wedding.

 

There's usually a fine or penalty for missing the return deadline, and your marriage isn't legally recognized until the license is filed. Click the link below to find out the 'return period' in your state:

 

• Marriage License Waiting Period, Expiration, and Return

 

 

8. Our last officiant tip? Take things (and yourself) lightly!  

 

Last, remember to have fun and enjoy the process. Marrying two people is a big responsibility, and performing a ceremony in front of guests can be stressful. But it’s also an amazing opportunity!

 

Give yourself permission to enjoy the wedding day. Keep things light, keep a sense of humor about unexpected moments, stay positive, and revise and practice your ceremony script until you’re comfortable.

 

Remember that at the end of the day, it’s all going to work out perfectly... Two people who love each other are going to be married! 

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More Tips on How to Officiate a Wedding

 

• Are You Ready to Perform a Wedding?

 

• What is an Interfaith, or Non-Denominational Church?

 

• What to Wear (and Not Wear) as a Wedding Officiant
   

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