AMERICAN WEDDINGS BLOG
Stay up to date with the latest wedding ceremony trends, script writing inspiration, tips and advice for first-time officiants, and news that matters to couples and wedding ministers.
Stay up to date with the latest wedding ceremony trends, script writing inspiration, tips and advice for first-time officiants, and news that matters to couples and wedding ministers.
Published Saturday, Feb. 13th, 2021
If you’ve been asked to perform a handfasting ritual as part of a wedding ceremony -- congratulations! Handfastings are one of the oldest -- and most customizable -- unity rituals around. This versatility, rooted in tradition, is how handfasting outlasts fleeting trends and changing cultures, and continues to appeal to couples of any era.
While there are many ways to tie a handfasting cord (and no wrong way!), one of the most popular choices is with an infinity knot. This simple knot is easy for an officiant or family member to create, and the result is decorative enough to display in the home as a wedding day keepsake.
En español: Cómo Amarrar el Cordón en un Handfasting -- El Nudo Infinito
The knot you choose for your handfasting ceremony can have a powerful meaning! For example, the infinity knot represents everlasting love and commitment in Pagan and Wiccan handfasting ceremonies; in a Christian handfasting the infinity knot can also symbolize the strengh of the marriage covenant from this life into the next - an eternal bond; and in a nonreligous or Humanist handfasting, it can represent enduring trust, love, and companionship. Express this meaning in your handfasting vows!
1. Find a cord or cords. You can use one decorative cord, or multiple cords of varying colors.
Handfasting cords come in many colors and materials.
2. Have the couple face each other, with their hands resting one on top of the other. They can use one hand each, or both hands.
Some couples choose to cross their right hands, as if shaking hands.
3. Drape the cord or cords over the couple’s hands. If there are multiple cords, do this one at a time. Arrange them so that the ends fall equal distance on either side of the hands.
Keep the ends about even in length!
4. With your right hand, take hold of the front cord/s, and hold on to it firmly. You won't let go for the duration of the knot, and this cord will remain stationary for the next few steps.
5. With your left hand, take hold of the back cord/s, and bring it forward, under the hands.
6. Pass the back cord over the top of the front cord, from left to right.
This crosses the cords for the first time.
7. Bring the back cord back under the front cord, from right to left.
This loops the back cord around the front.
The first loop!
8. Lift the back cord up, to the top of the hands, and tuck it under the length of cord that runs across the top of the hands. You will be tucking it under from the left, and pulling it up on the right.
Bring the cord up to the top of the hands...
...and then tuck it under, from left to right.
9. Lay the back cord over the back of the hands.
10. Let go of the back cord, then let go of the front cord. The knot is ready!
When it’s time, the couple can slide their hands out while the ends of the cord are pulled tight from both sides. This will create the unity knot, after the hands are free.
Have the couple slowly slide their hands free when it's time to remove the cord,
and pull the ends tight to secure the knot.
A beautiful infinity knot!
Handfasting is a unique wedding custom with origins in traditional Celtic and Pagan rituals. During the ceremony an officiant or spiritual elder wraps a cord or ribbon around a couples’ hands during a wedding ceremony to symbolize commitment and spiritual union. The wording used in the ritual might be different depending on the type of wedding, for example the officiants in a Celtic handfasting ceremony, Wiccan handfasting, and Humanist handfasting will likely use different wording while wrapping and tying the cord.
For more inspiration on what to say and how to add handfasting to a nondemoninational wedding, secular or humanist wedding, Pagan wedding, or handfasting engagement ceremony, check out the articles and sample handfasting ceremony scripts linked below!
To learn more about handfasting history and origins, check out our illustrated handfasting guide: Handfasting, From Ancient Rituals to Modern Ceremonies
Photo: Albina Kosenko / iStock
Handfasting cords can be any color or colors you choose! Many colors have symbolic meaning which can add to the meaning of the ritual. The pink cords above, for example, can symbolize a soft and gentle love when included in a Wicca handfasting ceremony.
Would you like to become a handfasting officiant and perform wedding ceremonies for friends and relatives? Get ordained online with AMM and learn how to officiate a handfasting ceremony today!
Friends and relatives can get ordained online for free, and it only takes a few seconds. Click the links below to get started:
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Say yes to magic and romance with one of the most exciting ceremony trends – the handfasting ceremony!
This comprehensive handfasting kit is easy to use and comes with everything you'll need, including a copy of the illustrated planning guide Handfasting, From Ancient Rituals to Modern Ceremonies, a copy of Navigating Your Wedding Ceremony, a hand-woven handfasting cord, a guide to tying an infinity knot, and more!
Updated December 2023
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