Man Criticizes GF for Using AI to Write Wedding Ceremony Script And I Think He’s the As*hole

Does using ChatGPT to write a wedding officiant script make you a bad friend? Nope. 

 

 

Two weeks ago, a man asked Reddit users to weigh in on an argument he had with his girlfriend over using AI to write a ‘wedding speech.’ The conversation was picked up by the national press because it gets to the heart of an increasingly unavoidable question: can or should AI replace the human touch?

 

His girlfriend, he said in the post, used ChatGPT to write the ‘speech’ she planned to use to officiate her best friend’s wedding that weekend. He confronted her on Thursday, just days before the weekend wedding:

 

 

“My girlfriend is officiating her best friend's wedding this weekend. She is 35 and has been best friends with the bride-to-be since they were 2.

 

She was reading what she had for the ceremony to me last night and I said that it sounded great. She replied and said "well I had Chat GPT write it." I replied and asked if it wrote the whole thing and she said "more or less, yes."

 

I then said that it made me feel kinda weird in my stomach that she would have AI write the ceremony for her longest and dearest best friend. I said that to me, it seemed a little disingenuous since they have been best friends their entire life and she is an amazing writer who could write something of equal or greater caliber to what AI wrote.

 

…Edit for clarification: my issue is with her using a tool to write something that is intended to be a heartfelt and personal ceremony, not the actual wording.” (Quote edited for grammar and clarity.)

 

 

His criticism made her cry, so he turned to the popular "Am I The Asshole?" subReddit ( r/AmITheAsshole ; AITA) to see who was in the wrong.

 

Most people came to his defense, saying that he was right to call his girlfriend out for using AI to write a ‘speech,’ and that wedding speeches should always be personal and heartfelt.

 

But to be honest, I kinda think he is the jerk here. 

 

Let me explain…

 

His girlfriend used ChatGPT to write a wedding ceremony script, not a wedding speech. And lots of officiants use pre-written scripts, even professionals.

 

What’s the difference between the two, you ask? A lot! 

 

A wedding ceremony script or officiant script is a guide that a wedding officiant reads from during a wedding ceremony to keep things going smoothly. Officiants are acting in a legal capacity, and ceremony scripts include their speaking parts for every part of a ceremony: the welcome to guests, the declaration of intent, prompts for the vow exchange and ring exchange, the officiant’s pronouncement of marriage, and more. 

 

Related: The Essential Parts of a Wedding Ceremony

 

A wedding speech is different. Speeches can be spontaneous or off-the-cuff, are often informal, and don’t have any legal considerations. They’re usually given during the reception, sometimes include dirty jokes or personal stories that might not be appropriate for the actual wedding ceremony, and there’s a lot less pressure to ‘get them right.’ You just have to speak from the heart. 

 

See the difference? 

 

This boyfriend is criticizing his girlfriend for using a wedding ceremony script she didn’t write – but many people use pre-written wedding ceremony scripts to officiate weddings, including professional wedding officiants, traditional clergy, and the clerks who officiate civil ceremonies. In this case, using ChatGPT to write an officiant script isn’t that different from choosing a script from this Sample Wedding Ceremony Script Collection. 

 

 

Is it ok to use ChatGPT or AI when writing a wedding ceremony script or wedding officiant script? Many wedding officiants use sample scripts as a starting place for writing a custom ceremony. (Photo: imaginewithme / iStock)

 

 

Sure, a personalized wedding ceremony is more fun

 

Sure, personalized ceremonies are more fun. And ideally, a wedding officiant will take a pre-written script and personalize it. 

 

Officiants can personalize a ceremony in several ways: adding details from the couple’s love story; sharing funny memories or favorite quotes; including a love poem; or adding wedding readings. Lots of first-time wedding officiants do this to create a custom ceremony, but not all of them, and that’s ok too. 

 

Personalization matters most during the wedding vows, when the couple expresses their deeper feelings and makes promises for the future. It’s such a personal and meaningful moment that many couples are choosing to exchange vows privately before the ceremony even starts.

 

• Browse Wedding Vows Ideas 

 

And a lot of personalization and ‘human touch’ comes from the officiant’s delivery and energy - not just what they say but how they say it. There’s a lot that the officiant in this example brings to the experience as the bride’s best friend that transcends any discussion about AI.

 

• AMM Officiant Training: Writing a Personalized Wedding Ceremony Guide

 

AI is insidious, but don’t be a jerk

 

In my opinion, criticizing your S.O. mere days before they have to officiate a big wedding is kind of a jerk move. Talk about a confidence shaker!

 

I’m not the biggest fan of AI to be sure – not as an artist, and not as a professional writer. Is ChatGPT the first place I’d turn for writing help? Heck no –  I’d use a Wedding Ceremony Script Library like AMM’s, where the scripts are written by professional wedding officiants who know what they’re doing. 

 

But there’s nothing inherently wrong or ‘disingenuous’ about using a pre-written wedding ceremony script to officiate a wedding – especially if you’re a first-time wedding officiant who’s not familiar with the parts of a wedding ceremony and wants to make a good impression. 

 

I say, let's give this woman a break. 

 

Her boyfriend could have offered specific tips to personalize the ceremony instead of criticizing it – and made her more excited about her role as a wedding officiant in the process. Wouldn’t that have been more fun for everyone? 

 

 

Now if you want to give a wedding speech… 

 

Now if you want to give a wedding speech, that’s different. To write a wedding speech, it’s probably best to stay clear of AI. Read examples of wedding speeches online for inspiration, speak from the heart, don’t take yourself too seriously, and follow this advice:  

 

• Avoiding a Terrible Wedding Toast -- What *Not* To Do

 

 

For more advice on how to write a personal wedding ceremony script: 

 

• How To Write a Wedding Ceremony Script in 9 Steps
• A Simple Wedding Script to Use When a Friend Officiates Your Ceremony
• How to Write the Couple’s ‘Love Story’ for a Wedding Officiant Script (With Examples)
• Getting Started: How to Write a Basic Wedding Ceremony
• Need a simple wedding officiant script? We’ve got dozens to choose from!
• 55 Questions a Wedding Officiant Can Ask a Couple to *Really* Get to Know Them

 

---

 

Get Ordained Online to Become a Wedding Officiant with AMM!

 

Get ordained online free with AMM and learn how to become a wedding officiant for friends and relatives! 

|* custom-button, "https://theamm.org/ordination-application", "ORDAINED MINISTER ONLINE APPLICATION" *|

Why AMM? American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expire.

 

Officiating weddings is an incredible honor, and a great way to show your love and support for the people getting married. As a wedding officiant, you will help to create memorable ceremonies and memories that last a lifetime.

AMM Ministers can legally officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in Virginia, where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the link above to get started! 

 

 

Become an ordained minister online with American Marriage Ministries and officiate wedding for friends and relatives. (Photo: Anchiy / iStock)

 

---