Stay up to date with the latest wedding ceremony trends, script writing inspiration, tips and advice for first-time officiants, and news that matters to couples and wedding ministers.

How to Officiate a Symbolic Self-Marriage or Sologamy Ceremony (With Sample Script!)

Published Thursday, Aug. 17th, 2023

Image: Marius Muresan / Unsplash

For the Officiant: How to perform a solo wedding or sologamy ceremony



Asked to officiate a symbolic self-marriage or sologamy ceremony? 


Officiating this unique ritual is a deep honor. As the officiant, it’s your role to ‘hold space’ for the solo-marrier as they commit to truly love, accept, honor, and empower themselves. Below, we’ll cover everything you need to know to get started. 


What is sologamy, or self-marriage?


Sologamy is the symbolic act of marrying yourself – making a promise to love, support, cherish, and provide for yourself just as you might for a spouse. These rituals hold profound meaning for solo marriers. They’re a declaration of self love and deep commitment to the self in every area of life. 


A sologamy ceremony, sometimes called a ‘solo wedding,’ might look like a traditional wedding, with an aisle and an altar, but not always. They can be big or small, formal or casual, indoors or outdoors – similar to a traditional wedding.


Learn more: 




Your Role as an Officiant


Officiating a solo wedding includes many of the same duties traditionally performed by a wedding officiant, including: 


  • Welcome guests to the ceremonial space
  • Introduce the purpose and meaning of the ritual
  • Coordinate any special readings
  • Invite the solo-marrier to share their vows
  • Guide the self-marrier through any ritual elements
  • Close the ceremony in a meaningful way


In addition to these essential parts of the ceremony, you might be asked to incorporate unique or unusual spiritual elements. These elements / duties might include: 



  • Click the links above to learn more about each ritual


Young wedding officiant conducts a sologamy self marriage ceremony outdoors, it's sunny and the tree behind her has bright yellow and green leaves.

Photo (cropped): AdobeStock

Officiating a solo wedding or self-marriage ritual is a special honor.


Officiant's Legal Responsibilities


Unlike traditional marriage, self-marriage isn’t legally binding. Solo wedding rituals are symbolic, which means that the officiant (that’s you!) doesn't need to be an ordained minister or register as an officiant to perform the ceremony. 


However, many first-time officiants discover they love officiating after performing a ceremony. In this case, consider getting ordained online with AMM from the start, and take advantage of our free officiant training resources. Your ordination might come in handy later! 




Ceremony Order and Sample Solo Wedding Script 


There are no rules that say a ceremony must follow a specific order. Some solo weddings follow the same outline as a traditional wedding – including a walk down the aisle and a formal pronouncement. But many ceremonies are informal, resembling a small elopement, or are free-form gatherings in a comfortable setting with loved ones.  


Use the simple template below as a starting place, and customize with personal details, stories, and spiritual elements. This script was written using the gender neutral ‘they,’ but any pronoun can easily be substituted in its place. 


Close up of a wedding officiant in a dark suit holding a microphone outdoors before a sologamy ceremony


Self-Marriage / Sologamy Ceremony Script 

With Sample Sologamy Vows

Welcome & Invocation


Friends and family, we’re gathered here today to celebrate and support _______ as they align themselves with their true path and commit to themselves and their higher calling.

In life, we encounter many challenges, uncertainties, and victories. If we’re lucky we have people all around us to hold us, comfort us, and encourage us. Each of you has been that person for _______, and they’re so happy you’re here. 

Committing to oneself is harder than seems at first. This type of commitment, if it’s truly held, is a practice of radical self acceptance. It requires courage: to look upon oneself in both the bright light of day and shadows of night. It requires trust: to trust in oneself and in one’s place in the current of life. 

This type of self commitment is an unbreakable promise, a union forged between the earthly self and the higher self. It is a covenant of self love, a vow of self compassion and unwavering faith, even in the face of uncertainty and human imperfection. 

Statement of Intent


_______, are you ready to make this commitment? To love, honor, value, and accept yourself, to live in alignment with your core values, to unite your physical and spiritual self in pursuit of a higher path?


I do! 

Written Vows


When you’re ready, please read the promises you make to yourself today.


(Sample sologamy vows)

I promise to forgive myself for my imperfections, and to love myself just as I am. I promise to challenge myself to learn and grow, and be accountable and intentional in all my interactions. 

I promise never to abandon myself and my needs in romantic relationships, or to lose myself in my job or career. 

I promise to take care of my body, to be kind to it, to accept it. I promise to take care of my mental health, and I promise not to be ashamed of needing help to be healthy. 

I promise to have fun! I promise to enjoy life as much as I can and to seek happiness and to make my friends and vacations a priority. I promise to make time for ME! 

And I promise to live in faith and gratitude. And to maintain my spiritual practice, and to share it with others any way I can, through service and love.

A Symbolic Act 

A solo candle lighting ceremony: 


_______, these promises are a gift! 

Let the light of this candle represent the inner light you’ve harnessed here today. Let it be a steady beacon of love and faith, a symbol of the divine spark to guide you through the many good years ahead. 

(The Officiant hands the marrier a decorative book of matches or lighter.)

(The marrier lights the ceremonial candle.)

As an alternative, a toast:

(The Officiant pours the marrier a glass of wine or cider and offers a toast – such as “To many good years ahead!” – which is repeated enthusiastically by the crowd as the marrier drinks.

Closing Words 


_______, you have vowed to be your own best advocate, your own best friend and supporter. To honor yourself as you walk through life, and to live in joyful alignment with who you are and what you hope to become. You have committed to earthly and spiritual union! 

As we leave here today, we honor this courageous pledge, and promise to love, support, and encourage you each step of the way. 

Friends, let’s stand and show our love for _______! 


Read Next: 


Friends hold up sparklers and laugh during an adult naming ceremony

A Naming Ceremony or ritual can be celebrated at any age, including as an adult, as a way to honor the authentic self. Read the full article here. 


Jessica Levey
Jessica Levey

Lead Staff Writer & Illustrator

Jessica loves exploring the history and magic of ritual, the connections between people and places, and sharing true stories about love and commitment. She's an advocate for marriage equality, LGBTQ+ rights, and individuality, and is an ordained Minister with AMM. When she’s not writing or illustrating for AMM, she enjoys city hikes, fantasy novels, comics, and traveling.

How To Officiate By State

Will You Marry Us? Gift Package

Who Will Officiate Your Wedding?

Choose Your Officiant with our "Will You Marry Us?" Gift Package.

Signature Wedding Officiant Package

Signature Wedding Officiant Package

Our premiere package contains everyting you need to officiate like a pro.

The Book of Wedding Vows and Ceremonies

The Book of Wedding Vows and Ceremonies

It's finally here! Timeless scripts and heartfelt vow inspiration to bring life to your ceremony.

Professional Wedding Officiant Certification Course

Learn from the Pros to Officiate with Confidence!

Wedding Officiant Training

Wedding Officiant Training

Everything you need to know to officiate.

Read our sample wedding ceremony scripts online

Sample Wedding Ceremony Scripts

Need inspiration? Check out our free ceremony scripts!

Subscribe To Our Newsletter!


Become a Wedding Officiant with Our Free Online Ordination!