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Words are Powerful – Creating a Wedding Ceremony that Suits the Couple

Published Friday, Dec. 14th, 2018

A wedding minister officiates an outdoor wedding for a bride and groom. They newlyweds are holding hands, while the officiant reads from a book he's holding. They are all wearing beautiful formal wear.

Choose the right wording for a traditional or modern wedding ceremony, based on your personal style and spirituality




In previous articles, we've talked about how to create a 'religious feel' in the wedding ceremony that matches the couple’s own spiritual disposition. But what about the overall feel and flow, or the 'standard pieces' of the ceremony, like the end-of-aisle question or the pronouncement?


Do the words used really matter?


They do! When performing a wedding ceremony, every piece of the ceremony contributes to the overall feel, and is a reflection of the couple. Plus, most folks have heard their fair share of invocations, vow exchanges, and other basic parts of a wedding ceremony in person or in televison or movies, and will be wondering, “How are Matt and Rita going to do theirs?”


This means that the couple and the person who is performing the wedding ceremony (the wedding officiant!) should discuss the feel of all the components - not just the readings. Then, whoever writes the wedding ceremony can select pieces that 'fit' that desired 'feel' to create the perfect ceremony.


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Below are two examples of standard parts of a wedding ceremony, the 'end of aisle' question, also commonly referred to as 'giving away the bride,' and the 'first kiss' wording that's used following the pronouncement


For each one, we provide two options: Traditional or Modern.



An Elvis impersonator officiates a wedding between a woman in a white gown and white veil and a man in a white wedding suit, surrounded by bridesmaids and groomsmen

"Traditional," modern," or "gonzo," it's totally up to you, just make sure you know how to get there...



The "End of Aisle" Question:


  • “Who gives this woman away in marriage?”  - Traditional


  • “Who supports this woman as she joins this man in marriage?” - Modern



"The Kiss" Wording:


  • “Mark, you may now kiss your bride”  - Traditional


  • “Mark and John, you may now celebrate your union with a kiss.” - Modern




The examples above show how simple it can be to toggle between traditional and modern by switching a few words around. The key is to have a clear idea of what style and 'feel' you and the couple prefer before writing the wedding ceremony script.


If you're not sure which you like better, browse our Wedding Ceremony Script Library to see examples of popular wedding scripts. 


Remember, every piece within the ceremony can be written to fit the couple and to reflect the tone that they want to convey in their wedding ceremony.  


Have fun figuring that out together!




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Lewis King
Lewis King

Staff Writer

Lewis loves exploring the space between power, discourse, and material reality where institutions like marriage are defined. He also wears other hats at AMM, like taking out the recycling and restocking the sparkling water.

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