How to stop parents, friends, & relatives from taking over your wedding plan

How to Keep Parents & Loved Ones From Meddling in Your Wedding

 

This is not your Aunt Betty’s wedding. No matter what she says (or how loudly). But your loved ones love to meddle in your wedding planning, don't they?

 

This is your wedding, and it should be a day when you shout your love from the rafters… or wedding venue, as the case may be. Unfortunately, if your friends and relatives are offering more opinions than helping hands, things can get a little crowded when it comes to wedding planning. 

 

We’re talking about well-meaning but meddlesome relatives and friends, of course. 

 

It’s the familiar curse of having “too many cooks in the kitchen.” And it happens anytime a group of enthusiastic people try to plan anything together. Only this time, the crowded kitchen is your wedding day.  Soon, you and your partner’s vision of the ‘perfect day’ is lost in a sea of suggestions, out-dated tips, taffeta and crafting glue… Nothing that really says "you."

 

As the average cost of a wedding continues to rise, couples getting creative to make ends meet. That means that your friends and family are more likely than ever to be doubling as wedding photographer, DJ, caterer, cocktail extraordinaire, and wedding officiant.

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Although having loved ones pitch in can create a uniquely intimate wedding experience, it can also be a real pain in the backside when someone gets too pushy in the planning process -- or decides to simply take over. Even more frustrating is when two or more loved ones decide they know best, but don’t agree on what that means!

 

Related: Asking a Friend or Family Member to Officiate Your Wedding? Read This First. 

 

Avoid wedding day disappointment and resentment with these helpful tips on wedding planning with loved ones.

 

1. Wedding Essentials v. Negotiables: Have a Simple List Before Bringing in Help

 

Write a list of your 'wedding day essential elements' before bringing in helping hands to avoid losing your voice in the wedding planning process. Experts say that things go best when you and your partner decide early-on which things are essential ingredients, and which are negotiable. 

 

Have very strong feelings about the venue or the afterparty music selections? Then those are essentials! Write them down in your 'essential wedding elements' list before Aunt Betty gets involved.

 

Couldn’t care less about what goes in the guest gift bags, or the color of the reception table cloths? Then those are negotiables -- someone else can sort them out. 

 

2. Assign Your 'Negotiables' to Your Wedding Helpers

 

All those negotiables can be handed off to helpful parents, relatives, or friends. They'll be happy to help with this task list, while you show your appreciation by trusting them with various parts of planning. 

 

As you hand off your negotiables list, let loved ones know that your essential ingredients aren't up for discussion. And because you've already defined what's essential, it will be easier to stay true to your vision.

 

3. Be Direct & Specific When Asking for Help 

 

Our last suggestion? When you do want or need help, ask for it directly and be clear about the scope of the task from the start. For example, let Aunt Betty know how much you love her orange zest cupcakes, and ask if she's willing to make two dozen of them for the reception.

 

While she's making those delicious cupcakes, you can start planning your bridesmaid's looks -- or any other essentials on your list!

Let Aunt Betty know you love her orange zest cupcakes, but that you'll be picking the bridesmaid's dresses...

 

Updated 6/10/2025

 

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More Wedding Planning Help & Inspiration

 

For inspiration on essentials to personalize your wedding, try Lucky in Love, or check out real weddings on the AMM Wedding Wall. Or browse any of the fun articles below! 

 

• A Simple Wedding Planning Checklist & Timeline for Busy Couples

 

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