nontraditional weddings pets procession processional wedding and ceremony planning

Bride chooses cat to be her ‘flower boy,’ now her sister is furious

Published Thursday, Apr. 14th, 2022

It’s so much fun when couples choose to include a pet in their wedding ceremony, like this bride and her cat as a ‘flower boy’! But it can also lead to misunderstandings with family members. Here’s how to avoid family drama and wedding day disasters if you decide to break tradition in your ceremony.

Thinking of including pets in your wedding? Heed this cautionary cat tale...

A soon-to-be bride posted on Reddit’s AITA recently to share that she’d selected her cat to serve as the ‘flower boy’ in her wedding ceremony. This choice angered her sister, who felt she should have chosen one of her three nieces instead.

Posted by u/justasalemarket:

Two months ago, I invited my parents to see the wedding venue and brought up the idea of making my cat the flower boy… Everyone who was there at the time, my husband, in-laws, and parents all thought it was a great and cute idea, so I bought a white dress for him and we’ve been practicing his walk down the aisle since then.

… About two week ago my sister called me out of the blue to discuss my wedding with me… She has three kids 8F, 6M and 3F. She brought up the idea of the oldest being the flower girl, and I told her what my plan was, and that it was set in stone that my cat would be the flower boy.

She sounded shocked and asked why I didn’t think of my niece… She went off on this whole tangent about how I was a terrible sister, daughter and aunt, then hung up on me… A while later I started getting phone calls from family about how selfish I was being and that I was making a dumb choice.

This whole ordeal has really taken a toll on me… So AITA for making my cat the flower boy?

(Edited for grammar and spelling, see original post here.)

We have a few opinions on this one!

We’ll start by saying that we love seeing couples include their pets in the wedding ceremony, and strongly believe that all couples should plan the wedding ceremony that they really want – without feeling pressured by friends and relatives to stick with tradition.

So we are definitely Team Flower Cat.

However.

We also acknowledge, as the bride herself does, that family dynamics aren’t always easy to navigate, and can change over time. This is especially true when money and strong emotions are involved, as is often the case when planning a wedding!

In fact, we’ve written several useful articles in the pursuit of harmonious wedding ceremonies, filled with tips to help our ministers and their couples avoid this kind of family drama on the big day:

Dealing with Family Dynamics: Your Guide to a Drama Free Wedding Ceremony

Wedding Ceremony Tips: How to Compromise with Religious Relatives, for Non-Religious Couples

How to stop parents, friends, & relatives from taking over your wedding plan

How to Deal With Not Being Asked to Officiate a Wedding

Asking a Friend or Family Member to Officiate Your Wedding? Read This First...

Ultimately, we don’t think this bride was the ‘asshole.’ But we don’t think her sister was either. Here’s why…

It’s not uncommon for couples to ask siblings, parents, grandparents, and relatives to participate in their wedding ceremony – either as a wedding attendant escorting them down the aisle, as a flower girl or boy, as a ring bearer, or with a special reading.

And many friends and family members excitedly anticipate the day they’ll be invited to join in, whether they admit it openly or not. Traditions can be hard to get away from, and there are a lot of expectations about what weddings should and shouldn’t look like!

Not being asked to help out can feel like a snub, even when it’s not.

Loved ones would do well to remember that these breaks from tradition have very little to do with how close a couple feels to them, and everything to do with the couple’s desire to express themselves fully on the wedding day.

More couples are breaking away from tradition to create original ceremonies that speak to their personal values, quirks, and aesthetics.