Wedding Guests Are Tired of Footing the Bill, But Couples Can’t Afford it Either

How Much Does it Cost to Attend a Wedding? A New Trend is Giving Guests Sticker Shock...

 

Disgruntled wedding guests are taking to the internet in droves to rant about the newest wedding trend – couples asking their guests to help cover the costs of the big day.

 

If you haven’t encountered this industry drama yet, you will. The number of posts I’ve seen from bewildered wedding guests asking if it’s normal to pay to attend a wedding has skyrocketed in the past year. These reported fees range anywhere from $60 to $2,000 per wedding, to cover the price of food, entertainment, lodging, and venue rentals. For destination weddings, the cost can be even higher.

 

To say that it’s an unpopular request would be an understatement. Here’s a sampling of public opinion on the issue: 

 

“Where I'm from… it's become a bit more common to charge guests. I've seen it happen a few times myself (with one bride offering to split the amount into a few eTransfer payments!). Gifts are also usually expected. Always found it super tacky -- if you can't afford a lavish wedding, then don't have one.” (u/BuyMeLotsOfDiamonds)

 

“This is so beyond tacky and tasteless.” (u/Adventurous-Cry-2157)

 

“Paying for your meal and the ambiance is nuts. I would decline immediately and without sending a gift.” (u/Jilltro)

 

“Hahaha, what the f*ck – how can you be so cheap and tacky? OP, I don't know what your country is, but I really hope that this behaviour doesn't spread to mine!! Also, I will need a follow-up about how many people actually attended the wedding.” (u/Merrylty)

 

 

These friends aren't happy about paying to attend a wedding... (Photo: AntonioGuillem / iStock)

 

Yep, wedding guests are tired of picking up the check to watch their friends get married. 

 

The problem is, couples can’t afford to pay the bill either, leaving everyone in a bit of a pickle.

 

The average cost of a wedding in the US is about $35,000 this year. For those of you who think this staggeringly high number must be distorted by lavish outliers throwing champagne and caviar parties on yachts, the median cost isn’t great either – ringing in at around $18,000. And most couples just don’t have that kind of money.

 

High costs are why couples are turning to their wedding guests for help in the first place. Take a look: 

 

“Recently engaged and having serious sticker shock with these wedding venues. We are in CT. Genuinely want to know how people are affording a wedding? Even a small one for 50 people seems unaffordable. Help!” (u/Diligent_Ad_9890)

 

“We were supposed to get married this year but moved it to 2026. Why? We can barely afford to survive…Originally my budget for the wedding was about $20,000, and the goal was to save that throughout our engagement. But in the end, we still have nothing. Every time we get a little saved up, something goes wrong.” (u/hell0-q)

 

“I’ve recently got engaged and I’m over the moon, however it’s made me so upset looking at how much stuff really is. It is such a whirlwind of emotions when getting engaged. It makes you realise what you CAN’T afford and your dreams get crushed. I am in no means elaborate or extravagant but I want something memorable and nice. I want to look and feel nice. But boy the cost of everything is crazy!... 

 

I really don’t know how people afford these weddings, unless they get into debt and have help from parents and come from a rich family.” (u/queeniegirlxx)

 

 

Most couples are struggling to afford the average cost of a wedding. (Photo by Mikhail Nilov / Pexels)

 

And the obvious answer – to simply have a smaller wedding – isn’t always so popular, either. Couples who choose to cut out the most expensive items from their wedding day, big-ticket things like food or drinks (with an average cost of $9,800 and $2,800 respectively), don’t always fare much better in public forums. Check it out: 

 

“What's the bet that they overspent on their budget on stuff like the dress, the venue, the decorations, etc, and are now skimping on food because of costs.” (FryOneFatManic)

 

“So to offset the cost they cut food. Hmmm. They sound fun.” (u/Relevant-Resource-93)

 

"I was invited to a wedding where they had a “closed reception.” Only some people were invited for dinner and cake. But! we were allowed to come join after all that, for dancing and a cash bar... We all cracked jokes about it behind their back..." (u/Mountain-Status569) 

 

“They hired a budget photographer for two hours. He started at the start of the ceremony…then did the wedding party and family pictures, so we all just sat/stood around for over an hour and half... They didn’t hire a DJ, just had Bluetooth speakers…They didn’t hire a caterer, their families made all the food... It was honestly so bad that we ended up leaving.” (u/FunKick7937) 

 

“Don't f*cking scam your guests and starve them! I don't even eat meat. I guess they were just raised in a barn by goats. Everyone there was genuinely insulted by these as*holes.” (u/Ceeweedsoop)

 

(Um, wow.)

 

So, what should couples and their guests do? Who should have to pay for all this pomp and circumstance? The thousand dollar dress or ten-thousand dollar venue? All the florals and finery and fun? 

 

Given the rising cost of putting on a wedding, there’s nothing inherently wrong about asking guests to chip in – especially if you consider a monetary contribution to be a wedding gift. Still, it can create an awkward sense of obligation for some guests, which might put a damper on an otherwise joyful day. (Not to mention get you roasted on Reddit.)

 

The solution? 

 

The truth is, a $35,000 wedding is out of reach for most people unless they decide to take on new debt. An $18,000 wedding is too. Couples who don’t have this kind of cash lining the couch cushions might be happier eloping, or at least throwing a much smaller wedding with only one or two pricey splurges. 

 

And why not! Small backyard weddings are fun, and there’s always the option for a big-budget vow renewal ceremony in a couple years, when we aren’t sliding into a full blown economic recession and your finances are looking more flush. 

In the meantime, there are countless ways to throw a gorgeous small budget wedding.

 

Ask a friend to get ordained online with AMM to officiate your wedding for free, then check out the articles below for a few fun ideas.  

 

 

• 5 Great Reasons to Ask a Friend to Officiate Your Wedding

 

• Free Places to Get Married (Don’t Go Into Wedding Debt!)

 

• Can’t Afford a Wedding? How to Get Married for (Almost) Free
   
• Plan Your Entire Wedding at Costco
   
• What Does It Mean to Elope & Is It Right for You?
   
• ‘Preloping’ - A Cute Name for Signing a Marriage License Before the Wedding
   
• How Much Does a Wedding Officiant Cost? (& Should You Tip Them?)

See Our Minister Ordination Package!

There are lots of fun ways to cut down on the cost of your wedding ceremony and reception. Click the links above to start planning. (Photo by Michael Morse / Pexels)

 

 

(Reddit comments edited for clarity and length)

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