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We Love This Wedding Advice About ‘Flower Gremlins’ From Ask Amy

Published Tuesday, Nov. 14th, 2023

Possible flower gremlin sighting... Photo: ideabug / iStock

Flower gremlins instead of flower girls? YES! 



Advice columnist Amy Dickinson isn’t sure what a ‘flower gremlin’ is, but she’s sure you should have one at your wedding… if you want to, that is. 


After all, your wedding day should reflect your tastes, and no one else's. 


That was the key takeaway in a recent installment of Dickinson's longtime advice column, ‘Ask Amy,’ which has appeared in The Chicago Tribune for over a decade.


A reader tells Amy, 


“Instead of having a traditional flower girl, we decided to have my fiancé's cousins (who range between the ages of 3 to 6) be the 'flower gremlins.'


My family is very upset by this decision and are on the brink of cutting me out of the family.


They really wanted my 8-year-old cousin to serve as a traditional flower girl… We explained to them that my cousins will still be just as involved…


Overall, my fiancé and I are very hurt by their reactions and want nothing more than their love and support.” This is an excerpt.

(This is an excerpt. See the full letter in the Chicago Tribune here.)


 A young child is dressed in a costume that looks sort of like a dragon or monster, he's laughing

Photo: nicolesy / iStock

We found one! A flower gremlin ready for the wedding!



Amy’s response is spot-on, and it’s the same advice we’d give this creative couple, too. She emphasized that the details of the wedding are no one's business but the couple’s – including the decor, fashion choices, and any flower gremlins running around.


Amy wrote, 


“Even though I don’t really know what a “flower gremlin” is, overall I think your idea of involving all of these children in your ceremony is quite charming.


But decisions about how to design your wedding celebration should not be about my taste – or your family’s.


If you want to dress up like Princess Leia and have the kids be little Ewok attendants – a more loving family would accept and support your choices.”


(This is an excerpt. See Ask Amy's full advice in the Chicago Tribune here.)



Top-notch advice! 


We hope this couple has a wonderful wedding, filled with everything (and everyone) they love. And we hope their family members come to accept their choice and support them in every way on the big day. 


There are many gentle and considerate ways to handle family disagreements about your wedding ceremony in the weeks or days leading up to the big day. For tips on how to handle these types of conversations, read: 



In the meantime, we can’t stop imagining how adorable flower gremlins and little Ewok attendants must be! 


If you'd like to involve children in your wedding ceremony, consider traditional roles (like flower children or ring bearers) and non-traditional roles (like costumed attendants, making vows to children, and even dance routines) to find the best fit. Check out the links below for more inspiration. 




For more fun ideas on how to get kids involved in your ceremony, check out: 





You might also like: 



Photo of six children's picture books that feature themes about LGBTQ marriages and families

Six colorful kids books about same-gender marriage & LGBTQ+ family structures. Read the full article here. 



Jessica Levey
Jessica Levey

Lead Staff Writer & Illustrator

Jessica loves exploring the history and magic of ritual, the connections between people and places, and sharing true stories about love and commitment. She's an advocate for marriage equality, LGBTQ+ rights, and individuality, and is an ordained Minister with AMM. When she’s not writing or illustrating for AMM, she enjoys city hikes, fantasy novels, comics, and traveling.

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