Published: Monday, Jul. 5th, 2021
Oh Buzzfeed, you’ve done it again! You’ve peered into the hearts and minds (and social feeds) of Americans everywhere, to create yet another highly-relatable list that we can’t help but shake our heads at, wondering why the world is the way it is.
This time, it’s 19 things “That Are Oddly Glamorized Despite Being Incredibly Toxic.”
And guess what’s Number 4 on the list?
Screenshot via Buzzfeed
Well, well, well. This is something we think everyone can agree on!
Couples face tremendous pressure to plan huge, elaborate events, with hundreds of guests in expensive venues, accompanied by multi-course dinners and entertainment -- which requires them to spend money they don’t have.
This means couples often start their marriages already tens of thousands of dollars in debt! And there’s certainly nothing glamorous about toxic societal pressure or crushing debt…
The article goes on to quote a recently married reader:
“‘My sister had a $40,000 wedding. Two years later, they got divorced. I just decided to fucking elope. Still married and no debt to pay off for a wedding. I call that a win!’”
Pettiness aside, it’s not fair to be pressured into a lavish wedding if you can’t easily afford it, regardless of whether or not your marriage later ends in divorce.
Even if you end up happily married for the next fifty years, overspending can be a bad idea -- especially if that money will make you happier going towards the downpayment for a home, or paying off student loans, or taking an epic honeymoon travelling the globe.
It’s time for this toxic trend to end! We’ve been saying so for years, and Buzzfeed agrees. (Trust them on this, they did just win a Pulitzer, after all…)
While we firmly believe that couples should have the wedding they really want, whatever that looks like -- it shouldn’t come at the expense of feeling pressured (either by social trends, TV and film, or by the expectations of others) into spending more than they can comfortably afford.
We hope to continue to see more elopements, intimate ceremonies, wedding potlucks, picnics and family barbecues, friends and family members getting ordained to officiate ceremonies, and other creative options that keep personal style and smaller budgets in mind.
Did you know?
According to The Knot wedding website, couples will spend an average of $22,500 on wedding costs in 2021. That's down from 2019 ($28,000), but up from 2020's average, which was lower because of COVID ($19,000). Wow!
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