How to Plan a Double Proposal (That You’ll Both LOVE)

Say yes to a double proposal! Tips to propose to each other for a moment you’ll both love

 

Thinking about proposing to each other? Here’s your guide to planning a double proposal — also known as a mutual, shared, or joint proposal — with real-life ideas, planning tips, and ways to make the moment personal, modern, and unforgettable.

 

You’ve talked about getting married but you’re still not officially engaged yet. Why not plan a sweet double proposal to take things to next level so you can finally start dreaming of the wedding day together? 

 

A double proposal is when you or your partner propose to each other at the same time, or at different times (usually close together, like within the same week or month). You’ll hear it called a mutual or joint proposal too – either way, it’s about making the moment yours, together. And just like traditional surprise varieties, these collaborative, equitable proposals can be romantic, memorable, and completely personalized to fit your style. 

|* custom-button, "https://theamm.org/store/products/will-you-marry-us-gift-package", "HAVE A FRIEND OFFICIATE YOUR WEDDING!" *|

Engagement ring buying tips: Know your partner's style and ring size before you shop. Rings can be resized, but this extra step takes anywhere from a few hours to a couple weeks to do. (This is good to keep in mind if you want to propose with a family heirloom ring, too! Timing matters.) Set a budget, and plan around yearly sales for the best deals. 

 

 

5 Tips for Planning a Double Proposal or Mutual Proposal

 

Quick Overview: Mutual Proposal Tips

 

• Discuss how much of the shared proposal you want to keep a surprise
• Decide whether to have one proposal, or two proposals (propose back to your partner at a later time)
• Plan ahead if you want to hire a photographer or videographer, or to invite guests to your proposal
• Decide if you’ll propose with rings or other gifts, and share ring style and size details with your partner
• Decide on an engagement announcement timeline

 

 

1. Discuss: How much surprise will you keep in your proposals? 

 

Talk it out: what’s staying a surprise and what’s getting planned togethert? Some couples decide to keep a few details secret to create a feeling of surprise and keep some mystery in the mix: Maybe you know the proposals will happen during a special trip, but not the exact time and place of each; maybe you chose a location together, but are keeping the rings a surprise; or maybe you’ve collaborated on every detail, down to your attire – except for the exact words you’ll both say. 

 

 

2. Decide: Plan one shared proposal, or two proposals? 

 

Talk to each other about how many proposals you’ll have: Will you take turns getting down on one knee? Go full romcom with a ‘duel of the rings’ moment? Propose on different days during the same vacation? Or propose weeks (or months) apart at different locations, each event with its own vibe?  

 

Bonus Tip: If you’re proposing on different days, who goes first? 

 

 

3. Plan ahead: Get pics, or keep your proposal private?

 

Talk to your partner ahead of time about documenting the proposals – or not. Do you want to hire a photographer or videographer to capture these special moments? Will friends and family be invited to witness your proposals? Or would you rather share intimate, special moments between just the two of you? 

 

 

4. Decide: Rings or no rings during the proposal? 

 

Engagement rings are optional! Decide if you’ll propose with one or two rings, or another special piece of jewelry or meaningful gift. If you’re on a budget, you might choose to propose with ‘stand-in’ rings (like ring-pops or max-glam costume jewelry) until you can purchase a style you prefer. If you plan to exchange engagement rings, share your preferred ring style and ring size with your partner. 

 

Related: 5 Creative Engagement Ring Alternatives

 

 

5. Discuss: How will you share the news with friends and family? 

 

Decide when to make your engagement announcement to friends and family members. If you’re proposing on different days, will you share the news immediately after the first proposal, or wait until the second? Would you rather savor the start of your engagement privately for a day or week before making it public? Having a conversation about this timeline ensures you're on the same page before either one – or both – of you propose!

 

 

To document or not? This adorable lesbian double proposal was captured on camera by a professional photographer, but you can have friends and family take a few pics to save on costs too. Or keep the moment private, just between the two of you, and take pics afterwards to remember the experience. (Photos: HGLS / iStock)

 

 

Is a Double or Joint Proposal Right for You? Consider This

 

Double proposals can be a natural choice for couples want a non-traditional proposal. If you're not worried about outside expectations or outdated traditions, proposing to each other could be the perfect move. 

 

Consider whether or not your partner likes surprises in general, and how they feel about being caught off guard (even with good news). Would a surprise proposal be completely romantic, or create instant anxiety? Have they expressed an interest in marriage and being together long term? Will you propose with a family ring or purchase an engagement ring? And do you know their style? These types of questions can help you decide the best way to propose for you and your partner. 

 

A double proposal might be right for you if you fall into one (or all) of these categories: 

 

• Do everything together and love it that way
• Communication and collaboration is your love language
• Have been talking about getting married and want to make it official
• You've been married before and don't need a surprise proposal for a second marriage (or third marriage)
• Want to pick out your own engagement ring / jewelry, or at least shop for engagement jewelry together
• Don’t like surprises or don’t need a surprise for the milestone to feel meaningful
• Don’t relate to traditional gender roles 

 

 

How to Propose to Each Other: Sweet Real-Life Mutual Proposal Ideas

 

Double proposals are popular in the LGBTQ+ community and are finally catching on with straight couples too. We love this. There’s so much joy in being asked, and asking, for someone’s hand in marriage – why not embrace the chance to share both memories with your partner? 

 

Need inspiration? Here are a few adorable real-life double proposal moments we love:

 

• Take turns proposing on one knee on the beach at sunrise, then celebrate with espresso and kisses like the couple below

 

 

We’re officially engaged!!! Double proposal 🏳️‍🌈
byu/SuccessFabulous2908 inEngagementRings

 

• Propose to each other with fake / ‘stand-in’ rings and then propose again with real rings that you choose together like this cute couple

 

• Propose to each other on different days, in two places that make you happy, like this couple's double proposal: “I’m so glad my fiancé and I both did our own proposals. His was in nature and simple. Mine was at home and more silly. We cried during both of them.”

 

• Plan a mutual proposal but keep the specific days and times a surprise like this sweet couple: “My fiancé and I did a mutual proposal, we talked about it before hand and decided we both wanted to propose to each other, but it would be a "surprise" (you know it's going to happen, just not when)”

 

• Plan a romantic road trip with two days of proposals like this adventurous couple: “We looked at rings together…We planned a week long road trip together for the end of this summer. He's planning two of the days with no input from me, and I'm planning two of the days with no input from him. We've said that we're both going to propose during our days.”

 

Related: A Road Trip Wedding is a Destination Wedding on the GO!

 

 

And Sometimes... Double Proposals Happen by Accident! Watch This Couple Accidentally Propose to Each Other at the Same Time

 

Remember this cute couple? They both had a plan to propose to each other, and accidentally created the perfect surprise Disney engagment moment. Adorable? Yes! But hard to replicate without a little planning. If you want to capture this same energy, talk to your partner about a mutual proposal! 

 

Couple accidentally propose to each other at the same time
byu/notyours_pb inMadeMeSmile

 

---

 

Engagement Tips from American Marriage Ministries

 

• What to do After Getting Engaged in 20 Simple Steps
   
• A Simple Wedding Planning Checklist & Timeline for Busy Couples
   
• What to Call Your Partner Now That You’re Engaged
   
• 7 Ultimate Engagement Gifts To Make a Couple’s Wedding Planning a Breeze
   
• When to Hire Your Wedding Officiant: Timing & Checklist
   

 

(Photo: Asso Myron / Unsplash)

 

---

 

Ask a Friend to Officiate Your Wedding! 

 

Good things happen when friends and relatives help out at the wedding ceremony! Ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding with free online ordination through American Marriage Ministries (AMM). 

|* custom-button, "https://theamm.org/ordination-application", "ORDAINED MINISTER ONLINE APPLICATION" *|

Why AMM? American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expires.

 

Officiating weddings is an incredible honor, and a great way to show your love and support for the people getting married. As a wedding officiant, you will help to create memorable ceremonies and memories that last a lifetime.

AMM Ministers can legally officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in Virginia, where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the link above to get started! 

 

 

Become an ordained minister online with American Marriage Ministries and officiate wedding for friends and relatives. (Photo cropped: Biserka Stojanovic / iStock)

 

---