Helpful Advice for Wedding Planning with ADHD

Planning a wedding with ADHD? These simple tips will help you stay organized, focused and having fun

 

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When you have ADHD, just sitting down to read an article on wedding planning can feel overwhelming. Actually planning a wedding might seem impossible, but trust us – you can do this.

 

The hardest parts of planning a wedding with ADHD will be setting and sticking to deadlines, making decisions between two or more great options, resisting the impulse to overspend, and not losing your cool when things don’t go the way they’re supposed to… no big deal, right? The good news is that there are a lot of resources available to help you get started.

 

Below, we’ve pulled together some of our favorite advice and two simple checklists to help you stay on track. 

 

Related: 5 Great Reasons to Ask a Friend to Officiate Your Wedding

 

 

Advice for Planning a Wedding With ADHD

 

Here are 5 tips we love for ADHD brides, grooms, and nearlyweds.

 

1. Embrace Help & Delegate Tasks

 

Understanding your strengths and your limitations is essential for planning a wedding with minimal burnout or meltdowns. Accept that you can't do everything (or at least can’t do everything easily) and hand-off the tasks that are most challenging to your loved ones, hired professionals, or wedding planning apps.

 

If you’re great at making phone calls and visualizing a seating chart, for example, but not so hot at budgeting, you might ask your spouse-to-be to stay on top of expenses, or recruit a close friend to tamp-down your impulse spending during team planning sessions. 

 

Many ADHD marriers find great relief in hiring a professional wedding planner. The average cost of a wedding planner is about $2,100, but can be more or less depending on where you live. It’s a big chunk of change, but it could mean the difference between frequent meltdowns and actually enjoying the wedding planning process.

 

And don’t forget to ask friends who have already planned a wedding for their top advice and see if they want to pitch in. Weddings are community celebrations, after all! 

 

In any case, your wedding-planning superpower is embracing help whenever and wherever it’s available.

 

Asking someone to help with wedding plans could mean:

 

• Hire a professional wedding planner
• Use a checklist, wedding planner book, or wedding planning app to stay on track
• Pay a friend or relative with experience to plan your wedding
• Split-up tasks with your spouse-to-be or other loved ones
• Delegate tasks to your wedding party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc)
• Body-double with a close friend while addressing invitations or save the dates, creating a seating chart, calling vendors, etc.

 

 

Embrace help! Ask friends and relatives to help with small or detail oriented tasks. Try body-doubling (also called parallel working, working with a friend nearby) to keep on track when filling out invitations, working on the seating chart, and other projects along the way. (Photo: chabybucko / iStock)

 

 

2. Choose Your Wedding Date Right Away 

 

One of the most wonderful qualities of ADHD is the ability to imagine a million possibilities all at once. While this creativity is often an asset, it can make it difficult to narrow things down when planning a wedding. To stay on track, choose your wedding date right away and structure the rest of your timeline around it. 

Without a firm wedding date, it’s easy to get stuck in the daydreaming stage of planning. You might spend months admiring floral arrangements, scrolling through vendor portfolios, or debating between food trucks and formal caterers — only to realize you still don’t know when you’re actually getting married! This can lead to a much longer engagement than you intended, and it’s hard to work toward a goal without a date. 

 

How to Choose a Wedding Date 
 

Start With a Range of Dates

 

However, there’s a catch! When we say ‘choose a wedding date,’ we really mean choose a range of dates – for example ‘Fall of 2026’ or ‘the last two weeks of May 2025.’  

 

Why a range of dates? Because wedding venues and vendors get booked far in advance, so your dream venue might not be available on a specific date. By staying flexible with the date, you can avoid a lot of stress and frustration when trying to find a venue that works for you. And you won’t end up scrambling at the last minute to find another venue that fits your style or budget! 

 

Narrow it Down 

 

After you've chosen a season or range of dates for your wedding, it's time to narrow it down!

 

Next, grab a calendar and check for any big conflicts. Potential scheduling conflicts might include loved one’s birthdays, major holidays, tax day, or ‘back to school day’ for example. You’ll also want to consider local events, like major sporting events or conferences, that could make it tough for out-of-town guests to find lodging. Cross off any dates that clash with these events and then pick a few options from what’s left.

 

Once you’ve narrowed it down to a few dates, call your dream wedding venue and finalize your wedding date based on what they have available. 

 

An Exception: When to Choose a Set Wedding Date from the Start

 

There are exceptions to this advice! If you have a special date in mind, such as an anniversary or ‘lucky’ wedding date, it’s ok to be firm about the date from the start.

 

In this case, you’ll need to stay flexible about the wedding venue and reach out to several venues to find one that’s free on your chosen date. Be prepared to plan a year or two in advance if your chosen date or venue is in high-demand. 

 

Related: This Wedding Planning Book Uses Numerology for a ‘Marriage by the Numbers’!

 

Ask your fiance or a friend to help you make tough decisions, like choosing a suit or dress, and remember to keep things simple! If a big wedding feels overwhelming, keep the guest list small, elope, or purchase an all inclusive wedding package. Break bigger 'to do' items into small chunks and intermediate deadlines, and celebrate your progress after each accomplishment. (Photo: CandyRetriever/ iStock)

 

 

3. Keep it Simple! 

 

We love small weddings and elopements! Sometimes less really is more, and there’s nothing wrong with ditching the stress of planning a big wedding. 

 

Consider having a small wedding with only a few of your closest relatives and friends, choose a ‘sign and go’ wedding ceremony at a local coffee shop, or elope at the courthouse in a quick, no-fuss civil ceremony. You can even ask a friend or relative to get ordained online to sign your marriage license for you! If you choose to elope, you can always throw a reception party on another day if you want to celebrate with a larger group of loved ones. 

 

Related: Why You Should Elope (an Illustrated Guide)
 

If you want a large wedding, reduce your stress by focusing on the elements that are most important to you and let the rest go. This could mean choosing to purchase an all-inclusive wedding package at a venue; choosing a single menu option for guests; or holding your ceremony and reception in the same location.

 

Whatever you do, don’t compare your wedding to big celebrity weddings or royal weddings – those couples have endless budgets and entire teams of wedding planners on hand to handle every detail. 

 

Simplified wedding planning can mean: 

 

• Purchase an all-inclusive wedding package to take care of essentials all at once
• Prioritize the parts of the day that are most important and skip the rest
• Have your ceremony and reception in the same location
• Don’t compare your wedding to others
• Keep the guest list small
• Consider a ‘sign and go’ marriage license signing ceremony
• Hold your reception party on a separate day
• Get married at a wedding chapel with just a few guests
• Consider a courthouse wedding or a small elopement ceremony

 

 

Don't lose sight of the goal! Your wedding will be lots of fun and filled with love. Planning is just one step along the way. Have fun! (Photo: DragonImages / iStock)

 

 

4. Take Breaks (Lots of Breaks)

 

They don’t call it hyperfocus for nothing! If you’re finally feeling focused, definitely take advantage of it. But remember that intense focus combined with money stress, deadlines, and differing opinions between you and your fiance can make it much harder to regulate emotions and keep cool. 

 

Be honest with your partner about how you’re feeling and take breaks if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, dissociating, or shutting down.

 

To keep a balanced approach & focus with ADHD:

 

• Set a timer to schedule work breaks every 15-20 minutes; check in with yourself to see how you feel
• Stop and stretch; move around to ‘reset’ your focus
• Reduce distractions (find a quiet place to work)
• Break your to-do list into smaller chunks and pause to celebrate your accomplishment after each one

 

 

5. Use a Checklist & Set Intermediate Deadlines

 

Wedding planning can be very overwhelming, and ADHD can make organizing and time management even harder. One way to keep everything on track is to use a detailed checklist with intermediate deadlines for each task along the way. 

This approach breaks down the bigger picture, ‘having a wedding,’ into manageable steps like ‘send out invitations’ and ‘book the videographer.’ The bonus is that you get to celebrate after every small task is complete – and these regular dopamine bursts can help keep the wedding plan moving forward! 

 

Having intermediate deadlines for each step of the planning process helps make sure that everything gets done without last-minute panic. And you don’t have to reinvent the wheel, there are detailed checklists online or you can purchase a wedding planner book. 

 

We have two wedding planning checklists to help you get started: 

 

• A Simple Wedding Planning Checklist & Timeline for Busy Couples
• How to Elope: The Complete Elopement Checklist

 

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Ask a Friend to Officiate Your Wedding! 

 

Good things happen when friends and relatives help out at the wedding ceremony! Ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding with free online ordination through American Marriage Ministries (AMM). 

|* custom-button, "https://theamm.org/ordination-application", "ORDAINED MINISTER ONLINE APPLICATION" *|

Why AMM? American Marriage Ministries is an inclusive nondenominational internet church that ordains and trains ministers to officiate marriage ceremonies. We are a recognized 501(c)(3) nonprofit church, and help people from all backgrounds and beliefs become ordained ministers for weddings. Our online ordination is free, accessible, and never expires.

 

Officiating weddings is an incredible honor, and a great way to show your love and support for the people getting married. As a wedding officiant, you will help to create memorable ceremonies and memories that last a lifetime.

AMM Ministers can legally officiate weddings in every state* (it's much harder in Virginia, where we're looking into our options). After getting ordained with AMM, you might need to register your ordination with your local county clerk’s office. Click the link above to get started! 

 

 

Become an ordained minister online with American Marriage Ministries and officiate wedding for friends and relatives. (Photo cropped: Biserka Stojanovic / iStock)

 

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