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Officiants, what would you do if a bride disagrees with the vows during a wedding ceremony?

Published Thursday, Aug. 10th, 2023

Two screenshots from I Do Videography Atlanta (@idovideographyatlanta) videos on TikTok

Hey wedding officiants, what would you do if the bride disagrees with the wedding vows during the ceremony? 


If you’re anything like the officiant in the ceremony video below, you smile and roll with it! 

An Atlanta bride has gone viral online for disagreeing with two traditional wedding vows mid-ceremony, and skipping one of the old-fashioned promises altogether. 


Watch as the bride repeats each promise as the officiant recites the classic wedding vows, “For better, for worse, for richer,” but takes a long pause at the last line, “for poorer,” before reluctantly nodding… making everyone in the room laugh. 


@idovideographyatlanta Bride disagrees with vows (part 1) 😮#weddingtiktok #weddingvideography #idovideographyatlanta #engaged #weddingplanning #destinationweddingvideographer #bridetobe2024 #vows ♬ original sound - Rion Daniels


“Yeah, we hit that snag about twenty times in counseling,” the officiant quips with a big smile. “[The bride] made it very clear to [the groom], you can not be broke.”


But the bride’s departure from tradition didn’t stop there. The vows continued, but the bride didn't. 


“In sickness, and in health” the officiant prompts… “to love, to cherish… and to obey.” 


At the word ‘obey,’ the bride raises her eyebrows in surprise and stays silent. The groom begins to laugh as the bride grins and shakes her head at the officiant.


@idovideographyatlanta Bride disagrees with vows (Part 2)😮 . . #weddingtiktok #weddingvideographer #idovideographyatlanta #engaged #weddingplanning #weddinghumor #bridetobe2024 ♬ original sound - Rion Daniels


“We didn’t talk about that one in counseling,” she says, laughing. 


“We did talk about that in counseling,” the officiant says, jokingly, “Yes we did. So you want me to repeat that one or should we just keep going?”


“I think we can keep going,” the bride says, nodding at the groom as their friends and family laugh in the background. 


She won’t be ‘obeying’ anyone! (And we don’t blame her.) 



This funny wedding scene makes a great point, 
one that every officiant should remember…


This wedding scene is entertaining, but it’s also a great reminder for wedding officiants: Nontraditional couples deserve nontraditional wedding vows! 


Many modern couples are uncomfortable with the language, traditions, and sentiments found in classic wedding ceremonies and wedding vows. Some of the most common objections we hear from couples include not liking the antiquated tradition of ‘giving away the bride,’ religious wording like ‘holy matrimony,’ permanent commitments of ‘until death do us part,” and promises to ‘obey’ a spouse. 



Wedding officiants should always ask a couple if there are any words or traditions they want to leave out of their wedding ceremony or wedding vows – especially religious and patriarchal customs. 


While the example above ended up being heartwarming and humorous, it could have turned out very differently. To avoid making a couple feel awkward or uncomfortable, wedding officiants should always check with the couple when writing their wedding vows and wedding ceremony script! 



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Two grooms hold hands as they recite their wedding vows, beside the officiant who is smiling and holding the wedding ceremony script

Are ‘we do’ or ‘I do’ wedding vows best for your ceremony? We've got examples of what to say to help you decide. Read the full article here. 



Jessica Levey
Jessica Levey

Lead Staff Writer & Illustrator

Jessica loves exploring the history and magic of ritual, the connections between people and places, and sharing true stories about love and commitment. She's an advocate for marriage equality, LGBTQ+ rights, and individuality, and is an ordained Minister with AMM. When she’s not writing or illustrating for AMM, she enjoys city hikes, fantasy novels, comics, and traveling.

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