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The Anonymous Officiant: “In Sickness… And In Health”

Published Monday, Apr. 10th, 2023


This couple put their wedding vows to the test... in the middle of their ceremony! 

 

 

Listen now: 

AMM Audio Articles · The Anonymous Officiant: “In Sickness… And In Health”

 

 

 

"The day of the ceremony, I arrived an hour early to meet the bride, groom, and family before the ceremony.  

 

When the groom and I were introduced he seemed a bit nervous, but I figured who wouldn’t be on their wedding day, right? 

 

Then, minutes before he walked down the aisle, I noticed he was sweating profusely. 

 

As I began the wedding vows, I noticed he was a complete disaster. I reminded him to take his time and breathe. 

 

Well the poor guy proceeded to projectile vomit uncontrollably. 

 



Stylized illustration of a groom vomiting during the ceremony while the bride and wedding officiant watch in surprise; a simple line drawing over a layer of blue gouache paint; Artist Jessica Levey

Illustrations: Jessica Levey

 


He ran off to finish his business away from the guests. 

 

Yes it was gross, but what was even more disgusting was that after he gathered himself and we finished the ceremony…

 

He and his bride shared an open mouth kiss to seal the deal.

 

All I could say was “wow!!!”
 

 

- Anonymous 

 

 

 

 

 

_________  _________

 

 

 

Are you the next Anonymous Officiant?

 

Tell your real wedding story in AMM’s The Anonymous Officiant

 

Hey, Wedding Officiants! Share your real wedding story, rant, or advice anonymously in The Anonymous Officiant.  

 

We’re accepting submissions of true stories, confessions, rants, and other revelations from the wild world of officiating. Do you have a secret, a cautionary tale, a wedding day disaster story, or exciting gossip? A true tale that's funny, heartwarming, scandalous, surprising, or informative? Something you want to confess, or get off your chest? 

 

Your secret’s safe with us! Submit a story or advice in 500 words or less to [email protected] or use the anonymous submission form linked below. 

 

Read our Submission Guidelines

 

 

This button reads 'Click Here to share a story", and includes the AMM logo of two gold rings and three blue stars, and the title 'The Anonymous Officiant'

 

 

 


 

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