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Why Are More Couples Getting Married by a Friend?

Published Tuesday, May. 7th, 2019

"Think about the people around us who have helped us get to this point..."

Why are more couples getting married by a friend? That’s the question asked by Rainesford Stauffer, a writer over at the Atlantic. This question is something that we have spent the last decade thinking about too.


What Stafford found was that more couples were choosing online-ordained friends as their wedding officiants because marriages are becoming “‘deinstitutionalized.” 


Deinstitutionalized is a fancy way of saying that the way we think about marriage -- and the ceremonies that mark their beginning -- has become more fluid, flexible, and individualized. 


These days, weddings are a public statement about who you are as a couple. And what better way to personalize that statement of individuality than to have it made by someone who knows the couple?


It’s a brilliant article, and we recommend that you read it in its entirety (click here for the link), but Stauffer had a few more interesting observations that are worth mentioning here.


There's definitely someone in your crew who has "wedding officiant" written all over them...


One bride told the reporter that, “When I think about the significance of marriage and what that means, I think about the people around us who have helped us get to this point.”


We totally agree. I’m performing a wedding for two friends of mine next year, who also happen to be mentors, with shared professional and personal goals. Together, we’ve been through layoffs, job hunting, professional growth, and personal development. When I stand up there with them, I’ll be able to communicate how far these two lovely people have come, and how excited we all are for their shared future.


That’s the beauty of online ordination. It lets couples choose officiants that are part of their shared history. 


If you are a couple wondering who is going to officiate your wedding, or if you are someone that has friends planning their wedding, than American Marriage Ministries is ready to help you create that perfect ceremony.  Our goal is to make the ordination and ceremony preperation process as straighforward, inexpensive, and accesable as possible.

Lewis King
Lewis King

Staff Writer

Lewis loves exploring the space between power, discourse, and material reality where institutions like marriage are defined. He also wears other hats at AMM, like taking out the recycling and restocking the sparkling water.

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