A.I. Couples Therapy: Perfect Engagement Gift or Red Flag?

Does A.I. couples therapy actually work for premarital counseling, or is it just a (dystopian) sign of the times? 

 

Newly engaged? You might be considering premarital counseling to keep your relationship strong and healthy. After all, while modern couples adore big romance, we’re increasingly practical when it comes to love too. (In this economy, we can’t afford not to be.) That’s why nearly 39% of Gen Z couples hire a premarital counselor after getting engaged, with some calling couples therapy the ultimate engagement gift. 

 

RELATED: What to do After Getting Engaged in 20 Simple Steps

 

Unfortunately, couples therapy and premarital counseling aren’t cheap, averaging $100 to $300 a session – or about $2400 to $7200 for 6 months of weekly sessions. This price tag, along with shyness and simple convenience, are driving causes behind the rise of A.I. therapy. A.I. therapy refers to using a large language model like ChatGPT or Claude, mental health chatbot, or A.I. coaching app for advice. Some A.I. therapy tools are designed specifically for couples too, like the Paired app, Relish, or Lasting. 

 

A.I. therapy can be much more affordable than traditional therapy – with free options, monthly paid plans starting at around $15, and annual plans kicking off at around $40 to $80 for unlimited use. But is this a classic case of ‘you get what you pay for’? Is A.I. couples therapy actually helpful as a substitute for traditional premarital counseling, or is it just a nickel-and-diming byproduct of the digital age?

 

RELATED: How Much Does the Average Wedding Cost?

 

Take a look at what premarital counseling is commonly used for, how it compares to couples therapy, the pros and cons of A.I. couples therapy, and what to consider when choosing a practical engagement gift for you and your partner.

 

 

(Photo: Frazao Studio Latino / iStock)

 

 

Just Got Engaged? What to Know About Premarital Counseling & AI Couples Therapy

 

What is premarital counseling? 

 

Premarital counseling is a specialized type of therapy for couples to help them resolve underlying issues and prepare for a healthy marriage. Premarital therapy helps individuals and couples understand themselves better. Sessions often focus on a couple’s core beliefs and values, relationship patterns, goals and finances, communication and intimacy skills, conflict resolution, and more. 

 

RELATED: When to Hire Your Wedding Officiant: Timing & Checklist

 

Some religious faiths encourage (or require) couples to attend premarital counseling with their priest or minister before getting married in the church. Nonreligious couples and interfaith couples of all types seek out this unique therapy too. For this reason, premarital counseling is provided by licensed providers (like licensed marriage and family therapists, psychologists, or clinical social workers), religious leaders, and spiritual coaches. 

Premarital counseling and marriage license discounts

 

Some experts believe premarital counseling and marriage education courses are so valuable for helping couples succeed, that they’ve created incentives for couples to attend: the cost of a marriage license is greatly reduced (or waved) when you attend an approved premarital education course in Texas (Twogether in Texas), Florida, Georgia, and a handful of other states. 

 

RELATED: Can you get married without a marriage license? What if you lost it? Or forgot it?

 

 

Premarital counseling vs couples therapy

 

Premarital counseling and couples therapy are both helpful tools for engaged couples, but they aren’t the same thing. According to Tribeca Therapy, “Premarital counseling often works with couples when things are going well and the couple is focused on the future, creating good habits and building skills. In couples therapy, couples are either having modest or high conflict, and are navigating a very difficult time in their relationship.”

 

So, put more simply: Couples therapy is helpful for facing existing conflicts, stubborn problems, and recurring challenges. Premarital counseling is for when things are going pretty well and is generally future-focused. It’s helpful for fine-tuning skills related to marriage (shared finances, family planning, intimacy skills, etc.)

 

 

Pros and Cons of A.I. couples therapy

 

Pros: 

 

• A.I. couples therapy is affordable and accessible
• You can schedule it around your day in small or large chunks as needed
• You don’t need to reveal any big secrets to a person you don’t know
• Chatbots can offer useful, basic tips on how to manage joint finances and other common topics if you’re just getting started
• Mental health apps incorporate games and quizzes to make interaction more fun

 

Cons:

 

• Tips and advice aren’t tailored to your unique relationship or needs
• There are major privacy risks and concerns over how your personal information is being used by mental health apps, so privacy threats are a real consideration
• Chatbots are more likely to agree with you than traditional therapists, instead of constructively challenging unhelpful ideas or patterns
• A.I. lacks empathy and human experience, and can’t understand or relate to intimacy issues or delicate family dynamics
• A.I. can’t read tone, body language, or emotional cues, missing valuable information that could help you grow
• Quick quizzes and games may make you feel like you’re doing more work to improve than you actually are. 

 

 

Is A.I. therapy or a traditional (human) premarital coach right for you? 

 

Ultimately, the best fit is up to you and your partner. 

 

A.I. coaches and relationship apps can be helpful (and fun) if you and your partner are doing well overall. Clever prompts or quizzes can help you connect and spend more time together, strengthening your bond. If that sounds like what you want, an A.I. therapist could be the best match. Relationship apps can also be a helpful starting point if you’re new to the therapy thing, helping you ease in until you have the funds or motivation to book a traditional session. 

 

“Mental health apps can be very useful tools when you’re looking for structure, convenience, or an entry point into wellness,” the folks at Renew Neurotherapy say. 

 

And several clinical studies suggest the benefits of using relationship apps are real, with participants describing better relationship skills, an easier time dealing with conflicts, and more confidence in their relationship in just a few weeks of using a relationship coaching app.

 

On the other hand, a human therapist will be most helpful if you’re dealing with ongoing challenges or difficult relationship dynamics – difficulties that are deeper than surface level struggles. A human can offer support, insight, and gentle encouragement to keep you growing together. 

 

Human therapists are also bound by confidentiality laws, ensuring your information remains private. Traditional therapists also help hold you accountable, ensuring you show up to sessions and keep making progress, even if things get difficult. 

 

“The strongest factor in helping patients make progress is actually the relationship with the therapist,” Harvard Health says. “Having a secure place to speak about your stressors, seeing your concerns validated in the eyes of another person, and developing a trusting relationship are all components of therapy. A mobile app removes the human element of a therapeutic relationship, which we know is a critical ingredient in treatment success.” Still, mobile mental health apps can be helpful, through “symptom trackers, reminders, reinforcement of skills, and community features to set goals and share progress,” they add.

 

 

So what do you think? 

 

Could an A.I. couples therapy subscription be the best engagement gift? Or is it just a red flag? Whatever route you take, we wish you a happy and healthy marriage! 

 

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One thing only a human can do? Officiate your wedding ceremony! Ask a friend to help.

 

A chatbot might be able to give you advice, but it can’t officiate your wedding ceremony. That’s where a close friend or relative comes in, with a little help from American Marriage Ministries. 

 

Friends and family members can get ordained online to officiate your wedding with AMM. Just click the link below to fill out our online minister ordination application – it’s free and only takes a second! 

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Having a friend officiate your wedding is the easiest way to create an intimate and memorable experience. Take your vows surrounded by the people who know and love you the best! 

 

 

Having a friend officiate your wedding ceremony is easy with free online ordination from AMM. (Photo: FOTOGRAFIA INC. / iStock)

 

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