The Dos & Don’ts of Throwing Rice at Weddings

Everything you need to know about throwing rice at weddings, for an ethical & eco-friendly walk down the aisle! 

If you’ve attended a few weddings recently, you probably noticed that the old tradition of throwing rice at weddings isn’t that popular anymore. But why not? After all, tossing a handful of pearly white rice at the happy newlyweds has always been such a festive way to end a wedding! 

 

Is Rice at Weddings a Thing of the Past? Can you still throw rice at weddings? 

 

It used to be that guests would toss rice during the wedding recession as the newlyweds left the wedding venue to make their way to the reception. But these days, guests seem to be tossing everything except rice during the wedding recession – including bubbles, flower petals, dried herbs, and even lacy lingerie!

 

This shift in tradition begs the questions: Why did they stop throwing rice at weddings? Can you still throw rice at weddings if you want to? And why did people throw rice at weddings in the first place?  Let’s take a look! 

 

Below, we answer common questions about throwing rice at weddings to help you understand the dos and don’ts of this once-popular wedding tradition. We’ll also explain the whys and whens of the rice-tossing wedding tradition, along with modern alternatives to help you plan your own wedding.

 

Why do we throw rice at weddings, why is the tradition becoming less popular, and what are some fun alternatives to throwing rice at a wedding? Here’s everything you need to know about the custom of throwing rice at weddings! 

 

 

Wedding Dos & Don’ts: Throwing Rice at Weddings

 

 

• Why do people throw rice at weddings? 

 

First, why do we throw rice at weddings? Or more accurately, why did people throw rice at weddings? 

 

Rice at weddings has long been a symbol of abundance, security, and the blessings of a large family and many happy children. In Western weddings, guests toss rice during the wedding recession to show their love and support to the newlyweds, and to wish them all these happinesses (and more!) in the years ahead. It’s a show of joy, community, love, and good things to come.

 

 

• Do other cultures throw rice at weddings too? 

 

Many cultures include rice in their weddings! Here are just two examples to consider:

 

In Hindu weddings, rice is sometimes sprinkled over the couple to bless them with a life of abundance, comfort, and wealth. Because rice is considered a sacred grain in the Vedas (Hindu scriptures), it was also used to ward off demons, sprinkled into the ceremonial fire to honor the god Agni, and used in other parts of the wedding ceremony as well. (via Pragati and ShaadiShop)

 

Related: 6 Hindu Wedding Rituals You Might See at a Big Indian Ceremony

 

In traditional Japanese weddings, guests throw rice to symbolize their support and good wishes for the newlyweds. Couples might sip sake (a rice wine) during the ceremony as part of a traditional Shinto unity ceremony called San-san-kudo, and red rice might be served during the reception as a symbol of good luck and good fortune in marriage.

 

Watch an intercultural gay wedding with a beautiful San-san-kudo ceremony here. 

 

 

Many cultures use rice as a wedding tradition! As one example, Indian weddings sometimes including the ritual of pouring puffed rice into a ceremonial fire. (Photo: Mayur Kakade / iStock)

 

• How did the tradition of throwing rice at weddings get started? 

 

It’s often said that the wedding rice tradition started with the Ancient Romans, and that's partly true. At that time, rice was a luxury import from India, so Ancient Romans likely tossed oats or wheat kernels (wheat berries) instead to symbolize fertility and abundance.

 

Rice-tossing in Western weddings might also be a spin on the Ancient Roman wedding cake tradition: historians say that Ancient Roman weddings ended by symbolically crumbling a sweet cake made of wheat or barley over the bride’s head, to bless her with good fortune in marriage -- similar to smashing cake in a bride's face, like some couples still do today. The newlyweds then “ate a few crumbs in a custom known as confarreatio — eating together. Afterwards, the wedding guests gathered up the crumbs as tokens of good luck.” (via Gastronomica, and the ancient poet Lucretius, in his poem De Rerum Natura)

 

These crumbling cakes were later replaced with ‘confetto’ (an ancient trail mix of sorts, made of dried fruit and nuts), which is very similar to modern Italian wedding ‘confetti' (which is eaten, not thrown). Over time, ‘confetto’ was replaced by various grains thrown by guests, including rice, which had become inexpensive and widely available over the previous centuries. 

 

Some couples ask guests to blow bubbles instead of throwing rice after the wedding ceremony! There are many fun alternatives to rice these days, some of which we have listed below. (Photo: timnewman / iStock)

 

 

• Why did they stop throwing rice at weddings?

 

So, why don’t they throw rice at weddings anymore? If it was part of wedding celebrations in so many cultures and eras, what happened? 

 

In truth, rice is still part of the wedding celebration in some places, including Italy and India (as we described above). But rice is not usually thrown by guests like it used to be; the wedding custom is no longer popular in the United States and has been discouraged or banned by some wedding venues around the world. Why?

 

The rise-tossing custom became unpopular starting in the 1980s, when an untrue rumor started that birds could die from eating the grains of dry rice. These rumors said that the rice could expand in birds’ small stomachs, causing the birds to explode or die. The rumor was so common that a lawmaker in Michigan even tried to outlaw rice at weddings in 1985, to help save the birds. That lawmaker proposed the use of ‘nuptial birdseed’ in place of uncooked rice, which is truly a sweet idea. (via The New York Times 1985 Archive)

 

In the late 1990s, a widely-read Ann Landers article reprinted the rumor, and the unfounded fear that rice kills birds went mainstream. To avoid this awful outcome, most people stopped throwing rice at weddings, and by the early 2000s the tradition was mostly replaced by alternatives to rice.

 

 

• Does rice hurt birds?

 

No, eating uncooked rice does not hurt birds. As mentioned above, the rumor that uncooked rice hurts or kills birds isn’t true. 

 

In 2015, a Snopes article titled Is Throwing Rice at Weddings Bad for Birds? debunked this myth once and for all. Snopes’ investigators showed that ornithologists (aka bird experts) had repeatedly stated the claim was untrue since it began, unanimously agreeing that they’d never seen evidence that rice thrown at weddings hurt birds.  

 

 

• Is it illegal to throw rice at weddings? Can you still throw rice at a wedding?

 

So, if rice doesn’t hurt birds, can you still throw rice at a wedding if you really want to? Is it illegal to throw rice at weddings? 

 

It is not illegal to throw rice at weddings, but many wedding venues have strict rules against the custom. That’s because loose grains of rice are very hard to clean up and can cause guests to slip and fall. You may be fined or banned by these venues if you go against the grain... and we don’t recommend it.

 

If you want to include rice at your wedding for cultural or personal reasons, be sure to ask the venue if this is allowed. 

 

Flower petals are another popular alternative to throwing rice at weddings. This is a beautiful option, just be sure to choose a flower that's native to the local environment if you're throwing them outdoors. (Photo: Kobus Louw / iStock)

 

 

• Alternatives to throwing rice at a wedding

 

What do you throw at weddings instead of rice? Luckily there are many alternatives to rice for wedding festivities! These include: 

 

• dried lavender buds
• dried herbs
• flower petals
• leaves 
• birdseed 
• cut paper (using a hole punch or paper cutter)
• biodegradable confetti
• or paper airplanes (just watch your eyes!)

 

Blowing bubbles and holding up sparklers are also popular substitutes to send the newlyweds off in style.

 

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