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“Should I officiate my granddaughter's wedding?” What to ask yourself if you have been asked to officiate

Published Tuesday, Mar. 10th, 2020

Back when we were still flying on commercial airlines (remember, back before coronavirus?) I found myself sitting next to an older gentleman and as often happens, we started to chat about what we do for work. After decades in the workforce, my fellow passenger was planning his retirement. 


He told me that he was looking forward to watching his grandchildren start their lives, including one granddaughter who had recently gotten engaged. It turned out that she had just asked him to officiate her wedding!


But, he wasn’t sure if he should. “I’m not sure I’m the sort of person that officiates a wedding,” he said. 


It wasn’t that he was afraid of public speaking, and it wasn’t because he didn’t have a special connection with his granddaughter. The problem, he said, was that there was a “spiritual” component to officiating, and he wasn’t a particularly spiritual man.


Well, for starters, I explained that his nuanced approach to the requirements of the job and his humility made him a perfect candidate. In fact, being sensitive to the aspirations of the couple is perhaps the most important attribute in a good officiant. 


 As the officiant, you are uniquely privileged to be a part of this important moment. 


I explained that we all have the ability to officiate, and that each of us has within ourselves a truth that we want to share. As officiants, our job is to listen to the couple, to hear their truth, and to share it with the guests in attendance. 


So, if you’re wondering if you can officiate, my answer is yes! 


If a couple has asked you to officiate their wedding, it’s because they have already recognized that shared truth in you, and they want you to help tell their story. 


Weddings are once-in-a-lifetime opportunities for couples to show their community who they are and what kind of a world they want to build together. As the officiant, you are uniquely privileged to be a part of this important moment. 


That’s why we’ve made it as easy as possible for you to take this step. You can get ordained right here, and once that’s taken care of, we’ve got all the training tools you will need to create something unique and powerful. So, what are you waiting for?

Lewis King
Lewis King

Lewis is AMM's executive director. He also wears other hats at AMM, like taking out the recycling, restocking the sparkling water, and watering the office plants.

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