How to Include a Moment of Silence in Your Wedding Ceremony

Everything you need to know to include a meaningful moment of silence or remembrance in your wedding ceremony

 

Add a moment of silence or ‘remembrance ceremony' to your wedding as a beautiful way to honor the memory of a deceased or absent loved one. Below, we share the basics of including a moment of silence in your ceremony, as well as sample wedding ceremony scripts that inlclude this remembrance of loved ones.

 

Although your loved one isn't with you in person on the wedding day, they’re always with you in spirit. You can pause for a moment during your ceremony to remember a mother or father, grandparent, mentor, sibling, or close friend -- anyone who has held a meaningful role in your life and an important place in your heart.  You might also include a moment of silence to honor your ancestors, spirits or dieties, or to thank the generations who came before you, making your love possible. 

 

"...for those who can't be here with us today, we pause..."

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(Photo by Alexander Mass on Unsplash)

 

 

Including a Moment of Silence: Wedding Ceremony Basics

 

Below, we answer some frequently asked questions about how to include a remembrance ceremony or moment of silence in your wedding ceremony. But remember, there's no right or wrong way to honor a loved one. You choose the tone and feel of you wedding day! 

 

• When should the moment of silence be during a wedding ceremony? 

 

We recommend that wedding officiants include a moment of silence after welcoming the guests and before they begin the invocation and couple’s ‘love story.’ 

 

The beginning of the ceremony is the simplest time to include a remembrance ceremony without interrupting the flow. After welcoming the guests, the wedding officiant pauses to acknowledge those who can’t be present. 

 

You can also mention loved ones during a unity candle lighting (or another unity ritual) later in the wedding ceremony. In this case, you might light an extra candle for a lost loved one (memorial candle), or tie an additional knot in a handfasting cord to honor the support of ancestors or parents, followed by a brief pause.

 

 

• How long is a moment of silence in a wedding ceremony?

 

How long should you pause for a moment of silence? We recommend about 5 to 15 seconds, but there's no right or wrong answer.

 

A moment of silence can last just a few seconds or up to a full minute, depending on the kind of impact you want it to have. But keep in mind that longer pauses (30 seconds or more) can interrupt the flow of the ceremony and set a sad tone, making it harder to shift into the lighthearted parts of the ceremony that follow.

 

To keep a ceremony on track and the mood light, we recommend a moment of silence that’s under 15 seconds. This will probably feel a lot longer than you expect! 

 

 

• What to say? Officiant's wording for a moment of silence in remembrance of loved ones

 

As the wedding officiant, you'll initiate the moment of silence with a few words about the couple's loved ones. You might just say their names, or tell a sweet or funny anecdote. After the pause, you'll smile warmly, thank the crowd for being part of a special moment, and move to the next part of the ceremony. 

 

Ask the couple how they want their loved ones remembered, and be sure to tailor this part of the ceremony script to their preferences. 

 

Wedding Script "Moment of Silence" Examples:

 

Example 1:

“Alex and Toni have asked us to pause now, to remember the beautiful woman that helped Toni learn to love herself, and showed her how to love others -- Aunt Kiki. Kiki helped Alex and Toni through those early days of puppy love, and we know she’s here smiling down as they take this important step together. Let's pause for a moment of silence, smile with her, and send out some love to Kiki.”

 

Example 2:

“Carin and Amory’s parents can’t be here with us today, but we know they’d be full of love and pride to see these two up here -- offering their support, probably cracking jokes, and giving more than a few suggestions on where to take the honeymoon. Let’s pause for a moment, to remember Connie and Denise, and Phil and Marrianna, who passed on a love of travel, God, and family to Carin and Amory.” 

 

Example 3:

“Before Ronald and Danelle take their vows, they wish to honor the ancestors, as their spirits gather around us tonight to bless this union.”

 

Example 4:

“Davis and Mark are honored by your presence here today and thankful for your love and support. They also hold a place in their hearts for loved ones who can’t be here -- Margaret, Adeem, Michael, and Karen, you are missed and forever loved.”

 

For a loved one who's still alive, but isn’t able to be at the ceremony in person: 

 

“Nicee’s mom Bettie couldn’t be with us today, but as the badass, loving matriarch of the Gilbert family, we know she’ll be on a plane here as soon as she’s able to. Bettie, we love you!” 

 

 

Sample Officiant Scripts: Full-length Wedding Ceremony Scripts with a Moment of Silence or "Remembrance of Loved Ones"

 

Our wedding script library includes a variety of full-length wedding scripts with a moment of silence. Each of these scripts includes unique wording, with examples of ceremony order and flow to help you plan your own. Use these scripts as-is, or as a starting place for a personalized ceremony. 

 

• Two Officiants Wedding Ceremony Script
• Unity Puzzle Wedding Ceremony Script
• Sweet Wedding Script for When a Parent Officiates the Ceremony
• Spiritual Wedding Ceremony Script
• Medieval Themed Wedding Ceremony Script
• Simple Wedding Script with Tree Planting Unity Ceremony
• Jewish & Christian Interfaith Wedding Script with Breaking the Glass Ritual

 

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Need an alternative to a moment of silence? Check out: 

 

• Honoring the Memory of Loved Ones in Your Wedding Ceremony

 

 

Click the link above to read joyful and meaningful ways to honor lost loved ones on your wedding day. 

 

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More Wedding Ceremony Ideas & Inspiration From American Marriage Ministries

 

• How long is a wedding ceremony? What to Include and What to Skip

 

• 8 Creative Alternatives to a Flower Girl or Ring Bearer for Your Wedding Ceremony
   
• Our Favorite Ways to Include Moms and Matriarchs in a Wedding Ceremony
   
• 5 Great Reasons to Ask a Friend to Officiate Your Wedding
   

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Ask a Friend or Family Member to Officiate Your Wedding!

Ask a close friend or family member to conduct your wedding ceremony for a personal, intimate experience you'll remember for a lifetime. Your closest friend or sibling, a parent or grandparent, or even your adult child can officiate your wedding with the right preparation! 

 

Your loved one can get ordained online for free with American Marriage Ministries to officiate your wedding, or to serve as a 'backup officiant' to ensure your ceremony takes place even if something unexpected happens on the wedding day. Our online ordination form only takes a few seconds to fill out, and we offer free training for first-time officiants on our website. Click the links below to get started! 

 

 

• Get ordained online with AMM here
• See Officiant Requirements in your state

 

• Sample Wedding Script Library
• Wedding Officiant Training Resources

 

 

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Enjoy the wedding ceremony, and don't forget to have fun! (Rawpixel / iStock)

 

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