Christopher Scott Bowen

WELL… WELL… WELL…

Family, Friends, and folks who showed up for the free food and cold drinks….

Look at all y’all – dressed up nice, smellin’ good for once…gatherin’ here today to witness what can only be described as ….

The most legally binding questionable decision Travis has ever made. (haha)

And that’s saying a lot! Travis your either really brave or y’all made an extremely crazy decision letting me do this. Jurys is still out.

Now for those of you that don’t know me, I’m the one they trusted to officiate this wedding. Which tells you everything you need to know about the judgment going on in this relationship already.,

But hey, love is bling…and apparently deaf… and makes real bold choices.

Now Travis and Raven – y’all standing here today looking all happy, clean, and well put together…

Which is funny because I’ve seen y’all operate in the wild.

And let me tell you something:

Mariage is just like four wheelin.. except longer, louder, and eventually somebody’s crying while the other one yell’s “I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD”VE TURNED BACK AN HOUR AGO!”.

Now in the beginning everything is great. Your riden smooth, music playin, your thinkin This is easy. Were different. We ain’t like everybody else.

That’s before Travis sees a mud hole the size of a small lake and says…

Yeah… “I’m going through that.”

And Raven’s over here like, “You absolutely are not.”

And then Travis Says, “Watch me”!

And right there- that’s the exact moment marriage begins.

Because the next thing you know, y’all ain’t cruisin’ anymore…. You’re committed.

Halfway in.

Water creepin up.

Tire’s spinning

Jesse’s recording the whole thing.

And Raven lookin’ at Travis like, “I’m gonna remember this forever.”

Now Travis-Buddy- you got a real gift.

You got the confidence of a man who has absolutely no idea what he’s doin’… but is 100% sure its gonna work out anyway.

And Raven – you got the patience of someone who’s already accepted the fact that it probably won’t… but your gonna stick around and manage the damage.

That right there?

That’s not just love.

That’s survival.

Because marriage ain’t about avoidin’ bad decisions…

It’s about making them “together”.

It’s about Raven sayin; “This is a terrible idea,” and Travis saying; “Yeah... well, I know dat’...but it will be fun.”

And somehow, against all logic it usually is.

Now let’s talk about getting stuck.

Because, oh yeah. It’s gonna happen.

There’s gonna be days where y’all buried so deep in life’s mud. The stress, bills, family, arguments over absolutely nothin’- that neither one of you knows exactly how you got there, meanwhile there is an uncanny coincidence that there is empty fireball shot bottles present during some of these moments.

And in that moment, Travis is gonna do what he does best…

Hit the gas harder.

Make it worse.

And Raven’s gonna do what she does best…

Stand there, shake her head, and say, “You done?”

And eventually- and this is important – eventually…

Y’all are gonna look at each other, start laughing and figure it out together.

Maybe with a tow-strap.

Maybe with a little outside help.

Maybe after makin’ it way worse than it needed to be.

But together.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what this whole thing is:

Finding someone you’re willin’ to be stuck in the mud with for the rest of your life…

And somehow still think, “Yeah… I’d do that again”.

Now Raven- you’re getting’ a man who will absolutely test your patience, your sanity, and occasionally your will to ride in the passenger seat…

But you’re also getting’ someone who will stand by you no matter what, love you loud, and never let life get boring.

And Travis- you’re getting’ a woman who’s smart enough to keep you alive…

Strong enough to call you out…

And somehow still willing to marry you after seeing how you handle a “bad idea”.

That’s impressive

That’s rare.

That’s probably a little concerning- but mostly impressive.

So, before we wrap this up, I just wanna say this:

Marriage is a wild ride.

Sometimes it’s smooth.

Sometimes it’s chaos.

Sometimes it’s: “we probably shouldn’t have done that”.

But if you’ve got the right person sittin next to you, laughin’ through it all…

It’s worth every second.

Alright- Travis, Raven- grab hands. Let’s get to some “I do’s”…

Do y’all promise to stick together through the smooth trails and absolute disasters, to laugh when things go wrong, to pull each other out when you’re stuck, and to never ever- pretend that was a good idea when it clearly wasn’t?

(Wait for “I do”) from both:

Travis, do you promise to always say “yes ma’am” even when you fully don’t understand what you’re agreeing to?

(wait for Travis to say “I-do”)

And Raven, do you promise to keep Travis mostly in line… or at least pointed in the right direction?

(wait for Raven to say “I-do”)

PERFECT!

Then by the power vested in me… which is honesty still a mystery to everyone here…

I now pronounce y’all husband and wife.

Travis- you may kiss your bride…

“And for the rest of y’all” – Let’s eat, drink, and celebrate these two lovebirds the way God and the county sheriff deputy attended: with full bellies, ice cold beer, terrible dance moves, Jesse with his ass cheeks out by the cake table, and later on, Travis with his first married bad decision in the back of his dad’s dump trailer being pulled by his new wife on the mower!