Douglas Brooks Johnson

Procession Time: 3:00 Cum: 3:00

String Quartet prelude

GM: Escort immediate family members to first row.

Family: Sit on reverse side of marrying family member so can see faces.

K/John: Signal ready to proceed.

BsMs: Proceed to positions. How many BMs? How long aisle?

dj: Cue quartet.

“Please rise for the bride.”

K/John: Walk up aisle, stop at 1st row.

Parent’s blessing Time: 1:00 Cum: 4:00

dj: “Who presents this woman in marriage?”

John: “Her mother and I do.”

dj: “Please be seated.”

Jake: Hug/Shake hands with John.

John: Takes seat.

K&J: Join hands and approach dj.

Kath: Hand off bouquet to MOH.

K&J: Stand facing each other holding both hands.

Opening Remarks

Welcome Time: 0:20 Cum: 4:20

dj: “Welcome everyone, welcome. As the sweet psalmist of Israel King David reminds us: this is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. And here now, we have a very special reason to rejoice. Because today, Kathryn Grace O’Neil and Jacob Thomas Kelzer come before God, family and friends to be joined as one in marriage. Our caring for these two has brought us from near and far to be with them as they consecrate their commitment to each other – and it is with great joy and reverence that we take part.”

Prayer Time: 1:00 Cum: 5:30

dj: “Before we go any further, the couple has requested the father of the groom, Tom Kelzer, to offer an invocation.”

tk: ...

Blessings Time: 1:20 Cum: 6:50

Parents

dj: “Thank you Tom. Kathryn and Jake wish to begin the blessings by honoring their parents. To Katy and John, Roberta and Tom, as parents you know it is by living your values every day that you pass them on to your children. Leading by example, with a combined 72 years of marriage, it was by witnessing your lives that Kathryn and Jake came to embrace your positive values of integrity, responsibility, courage and respect. How gratifying to know your children “caught” your values. For your surpassing parentship Kathryn and Jake will be forever grateful.”

Mothers

dj: “And now they would like to present a special token of appreciation for the role these amazing moms played in their lives; for endless patience, support and love."

K/J: Present moms with a peony.

Departed

dj: “Kathryn and Jake also want to acknowledge those no longer living whose guidance and inspiration influenced their lives, knowing they are with us here in spirit.”

Family and Friends

dj: “Finally, to all gathered here today, will you support this couple with your love, encouragement and heartfelt blessings? If so please respond by answering “We will”.”

Guests: “We will.”

Words on Marriage Time: 1:30 Cum: 8:20

dj: “Very well. Now, as officiant it is my prerogative to offer a few words on marriage. The couples only condition being that I keep it somewhat lighthearted.”

“So then, why do people get married? Well, it’s one way to get friends and family to come from afar to visit. Seems to have worked here – just look out there! Also, it’s a great excuse to throw a grand party. And I understand that IS the plan for this evening, so y’all be sure to stick around for that.”

“Seriously now, here in a few minutes Kathryn and Jake will speak some promises and later sign a document committing them to a bond, both legal and spiritual, uniting them in partnership for life. And we all get to behold these two proclaim their vows to support, nurture and love each other for the rest of their days.”

“Lastly to the couple, let me suggest that the bond you create this day can be renewed every day hereafter, through both thought and action. We do know that the mind grows by what we feed it, so I pray you endeavor to develop your spiritual life together – for a sacred marriage is a healthy marriage. As for actions, simply offer a warm smile when most needed, a hug that calms the nerves in a tense situation, a laugh that lightens a heavy moment, or randomly plant a kiss for no apparent reason - all these can serve to remind that the two of you are in this thing together, come what may.”

The Couples Story Time 4:00 Cum: 12:20

dj: “Now let’s learn about the journey that brought these two here today. We will hear both of their stories and, this should be fun because, they’ll be hearing each other’s version for the very first time.”

“We’ll start with how these two met. They had both recently moved to Chicago for work - Kathryn was only 6 months out of college, and Jake just out of baseball. They met online at Hinge and bonded over the Hulu series “Love Island”.

“For their first date they agreed to meet at Kincaid’s Bar – coincidently it was dollar beer night (remember they only recently started work). There Jake was caught totally off guard when THIS stunning woman approaches him. Hours later, they were still talking – the conversation effortless. The date ended outside the bar with, for Jake, an all too short kiss.”

“So then, what was that all important first impression? Well Kathryn found herself drawn to Jake’s boyish charm and his excitement for life - knew she liked him right away. But THEN he accepted her PRETEND offer to split the bill (again, they had just started work), and DESPITE THAT, she agreed to a second date!”

“Jake was likewise charmed, instantly drawn to Kathryn’s presence, her energy, kindness - clearly someone special. Later that same night he told his roommate “I think I’m gonna marry this girl!”. Evan is up here with us today and he’ll corroborate that story. Which took place in November 2018. Obviously it took Jake a LITTLE longer to share that revelation with Kathryn (more on that in a bit), but we are HERE now!”

“When asked what they love about each other, Kathryn says EVERYONE who gets to know Jake comes to love him. When they go out, Kathryn often finds herself third wheeling Jake and the bartender, OR the new best friend he just met in the bathroom. Kathryn loves that Jake is protective, caring, and thoughtful. PLUS he really goes all out for birthdays and Christmas.”

“And Jake says Kathryn is driven, in the best way. Her people she holds close, and protects fiercely. Know that if you are in her corner, never question her loyalty – she will show up for you, every time. Though small in stature, do not underestimate her - she is a force to be reckoned with. She’s also incredibly perceptive - can see through BS instantly, which can be quite challenging for Jake.”

“Now what is it they love about their relationship? Kathryn says the two of them truly have the most fun together – nothing is better than sitting for dinner or chit chatting over a cocktail. They are just so comfortable being themselves with each other. Kathryn treasures a tremendous sense of peace about their relationship – never questioning whether Jake is right for her.”

“Jake agrees their favorite thing is simply go out for a nice quiet meal. No phones, no distractions, just sit together and talk. Or not talk – there’s never any pressure to fill the silence. And in a world that’s loud and chaotic, these times together are grounding - the world slows down and problems seem lighter. While impossible to achieve, they both recognize the virtue in pursuing perfection, and so they push each other to become better versions of themselves. Jake says simply, beautifully, “we’re committed to us”.”

“Finally to the proposal. It was last fall when the couple headed to Bloomington for a football game. Kathryn didn’t suspect a thing. While visiting IU’s campus Jake popped the question and, after receiving the desired response, they went to celebrate at Nick’s English Hut. That’s where Jake sprung another surprise - both families and many friends were already there waiting to celebrate with them. Next day the celebration resumed at a pre-game tailgate party. After the game the celebration culminated at Kilroy’s Sports Bar. NOW, Jake swears he will never drink that much in front of his parents again, but Kathryn says check back on that after the reception tonight.”

“In conclusion, I think it’s abundantly clear these two are absolutely right for each other. And to the couple I say, somewhere, Neil Young must be very envious - because both of YOU have found your heart of gold.”

Readings Time: 2:30 Cum: 14:50

dj: “So we’re now at the point in weddings where a reading is sometimes presented. Today however we’re going to do something unconventional. With the couple’s permission I’m going to share with you an “unreading”.

“Kahlil Gibran was a Maronite Christian from Lebanon. An accomplished author, his seminal work was a book titled “The Prophet”. It’s a collection of poems on various subjects, including one “On Marriage” - a poignant exploration of the nature of love and partnership. It speaks of the eternal bond between two people who choose to spend the rest of their lives together. But it also warns against the dangers of losing oneself completely in a relationship, emphasizing the importance of maintaining ones individuality. First published in 1923, the poem really resonated with children of the 70s (it did with me) and it was widely read. Some of you may have heard it before. I read this poem in its entirety at my sister’s wedding, back in the 70s. It IS a very beautiful poem. However I’m afraid it’s NOT very good advice.”

“After 44 years of marriage I hear serious bet-hedging in this poem; in phrases such as “Fill each other’s cup but drink not from ONE cup”, and “Give one another of your bread but eat not from the SAME loaf”, and “Stand together yet not TOO NEAR together” and “Love one another, but make not a BOND of love”. Well, the advice here seems to be don’t give too much, keep some distance, and protect yourself, lest you get hurt! Viewed like that marriage is merely a path to personal self-fulfillment, where the individual takes precedence over the family. I now question whether such a guarded approach can long sustain a marriage where love and devotion deepen over time.”

“For Holy matrimony calls us to self-sacrificial love. It is through this highest form of love, known in the bible as agape love, that we fully realize the immense joy engendered by true self-giving, and the profound fulfillment manifested when two people care more for each other than for themselves. Definitely not easy, but I believe it’s your BEST bet for a happy marriage.”

“So, Kathryn and Jake, today I’m exhorting you NOT to hedge your bet on each other. Instead GO ALL IN, give unconditionally. I say DO drink from ONE cup, eat from the SAME loaf, stand close together AS ONE and, with God at the center, you will build an UNBREAKABLE bond of love.”

Declaration of Intent Time: 0:30 Cum: 15:20

dj: Be at the ready with tissues.

“So now, let’s get down to business. It’s time to declare your intentions. Take a deep breath you two.”

dj: “Jake, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to share your life and your dreams, and to build a home that is a place of love, happiness, commitment and growth?”

Jake: “I do.”

dj: “And Kathryn, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to share your life and your dreams, and to build a home that is a place of love, happiness, commitment and growth?”

Kath “I do.”

Vows Time: 1:00 Cum: 16:20

dj: “Alright then, let’s make some promises.”

“Jake, please repeat after me”

dj: “I, Jake, take you, Kathryn, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

Jake: “I, Jake, take you, Kathryn, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

dj: “To have and to hold from this day forward,”

Jake: “To have and to hold from this day forward,”

dj: “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,”

Jake: “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,”

dj: “in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”

Jake: “in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”

dj: “Your turn Kathryn, please repeat after me”

dj: “I, Kathryn, take you, Jake, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

Kath: “I, Kathryn, take you, Jake, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

dj: “To have and to hold from this day forward,”

Kath: “To have and to hold from this day forward,”

dj: “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,”

Kath: “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,”

dj: “in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”

Kath: “in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”

Rings Time: 1:00 Cum: 17:20

Introduction

dj: “Now then, having vowed publicly to be partners for life, it’s altogether fitting to present each other with a visible symbol to keep you ever mindful of the promises you’ve made here today. The wedding ring is worn on the 4th finger of the left hand as tradition holds it has a direct connection to the heart – what better place for a symbol of love and commitment? These rings are a physical embodiment of the sacred covenant that now binds you together.”

BM: Have both rings ready – no boxes.

Exchange

dj: Ask BM for rings

dj: “Jake, please place this ring on Kathryn’s finger and repeat after me.”

dj: “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Jake: “With this ring, I thee wed.”

dj: “Kathryn, please place this ring on Jake’s finger and repeat after me.”

dj: “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Kath: “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Closing Remarks Time: 1:20 Cum: 18:50

dj: “Almost there now. Just one final thought before we conclude.”

“Jake, do you remember in high school when, on your way out the door, your mom would remind you to “make good choices”? And Kathryn, when you were heading out your dad would caution you “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do”. Well those admonishments were simply subtle reminders for you to conduct yourself according to your vision of the person you aspire to be, a vision your parents helped you create with their love, guidance and support. They functioned as touchstones which you could always count on to help know the right choice. Well I say here today, BOTH of you have chosen very well.”

“However, it’s not just about you as individuals anymore. While each of you bring your respective family legacies to bear, you are a new team now. I encourage you to think deeply and together determine your expectations as a couple. What will your joint vision be? Perhaps you’ll establish your own mutual admonishment, your “together touchstone”, to remind each other what kind of married couple you want to be, what you want your joint legacy to be. As a couple, when confronted with difficult decisions, as you most assuredly will be, view them through the lens of your shared vision, and you’ll see the right choices clearly.”

“Now finally, after the ceremony, Kathryn and Jake invite everyone to join them in the tent for cocktails.”

Pronouncement Time: 0:20 Cum: 19:10

Pronouncement

dj: “OK, this is the moment of truth.”

“Jake, Kathryn, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Kiss

dj: “Jake, what are you waiting for? Kiss your bride!”

Move aside to get out of picture.

K&/J: Kiss, then turn holding hands to face guests.

Introduction

dj: “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing for the very first time – Mr. & Mrs. Kelzer"

MH: Hand bouquet to Kathryn.

Recession Time: 3:00 Cum: 22:10

K&J: Recede back down aisle.

MH/BM: Recede back down aisle.

BM/GM: Recede back down aisle.

Signing Time: 3:00 Cum: 25:10

K&J: Proceed to clubhouse to sign marriage license, no witnesses needed.

dj: Proceed to clubhouse to complete marriage license.