Jonathan Paul Gray

Dearly Beloved and Honored Guests of family and friends

We are gathered together here to join these two pin heads… Robert Lee Gray and Alice Leach in the spiritual union of marriage.

I have had the pleasure of knowing Bob for what feels like my whole life. I watched him grow into the man he is today. It wasn’t until recently that he found Alley on the lanes and somehow managed to keep his conversations with her out of the gutter and not strike out with her. Alley, it has been a while since i have seen my dad as happy as he is as when he is with you, so thank you for that. Now, what do you say we get this double slash turkey wedding going.

Marriage is not to be entered into lightly but thoughtfully and seriously, and with a deep understanding of its obligations and responsibilities. Please remember that God, love, loyalty, and understanding are the foundations of a happy and enduring home.

Bob and Alley will now share their vows… assuming they wrote any…

*(Vows)*

Do you Robert Lee Gray take this pinhead Alice Leach to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in the good times and the bad, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto her, even if she carries a higher average for as long as you both shall live?

*(Wait for Confirmation)*

Do you Alice Leach take this pinhead Robert Lee Gray to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, when he has a hard time shutting up, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto him even if he’s bragging about his high scores for as long as you both shall live?

*(Wait for Confirmation)*

Bob and Alley will now exchange rings as a symbol of their love and commitment.

*(Ring Exchange)*

By the authority vested in me in the eyes of God and the State of Pennsylvania I now pronounce you husband and wife!

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs Gray