Pete "Aloha" Tingstrom

Aloha - Welcome, family friends and loved ones. We are gathered here today, surrounded by this beauty of the creation of life and nurtured by the sights and sounds of nature to celebrate the wedding of Derek and Naomi. We are here for an occasion of great joy and a cause for great celebration.

Oahu (means “The Gathering Place”), you are on the beautiful Windward side of the Island in the town of Kāneʻohe, which was home to the early rulers of the Hawaiian Kingdom and consisted of 30 royal fishponds. Kaneohe, Hawaii, truly is a breathtaking destination. Its lush landscapes, surrounded by majestic mountains and kissed by the crystal-clear waters of Kaneohe Bay, create an unparalleled natural beauty. Kaneohe offers an unforgettable experience that captures the essence of Hawaii's splendor.

Having found each other, Derek & Naomi have built the kind of relationship that will serve them well as the foundation for their marriage. Marriage is a bold step into an unknown future. It is risking who we are for the sake of who we can be. In marriage, two lives are intimately shared; and the blending of the two must not diminish either one. Rather, it should enhance the individuality of each partner.

They have chosen each one of you to be here with them to witness their wedding vows as they join together as husband and wife.

You have come here from near and from far away to share in this commitment now they make to one another, to offer your love and support to their union, and to allow Derek and Naomi to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them.

Each of us knows that a marriage is not created by a law or a ceremony; rather it occurs in the hearts of two human beings. It grows out of loving, caring, and sharing ourselves with another. This ceremony is not magic, it will not create a relationship that does not already exist and has not already been celebrated in all the commitments Derek and Naomi have made to each other, both large and small, in the days since they first met and recognized their connection to one another.

So, in witnessing this ceremony today, we are observing only an outward sign of an inward union that already exists between Derek and Naomi. This ceremony is a symbol of how far they have come together and a symbol of the promise that they will make to each other to continue to live their lives together and to love each other solely and above all others.

There are only two official witnesses at a wedding but each and every person here today will witness the words that they will speak to one another and the vows that they will make. You should take good care to remember these words; for a marriage needs the help of a community, of friends and family who will be there when needed and will do all that they can during hard times to stand by Derek and Naomi and offer their support to them and the new family that they create today. May you always do all within your power to support the union that will be made here today, and to nurture the bond between these two people whom you love.

Derek & Naomi have asked that we take a moment to honor those loved ones who are not with us today. You may have noticed Naomi lit incense on her way to the aisle. The table behind the seats with the incense and pictures of the loved ones who passed who we wish were here today. It's a little dash from Japanese tradition honoring Ancestors and loved ones - - Ojiji, who went by Bill & Chizuko Myers; Sam & Bella Golz; Juliette & Francisco Cruz; Doris & Irving Cohen; Aunt Ettie; Milty & Pearl Cohen; and Sean Marks

Many of you likely know the couple well, they were thorough with “their story” that went out through “The Knot” and the invitation. Prior to every ceremony I do, I really enjoy getting to know the couple. I have a few things in common with Derek…both of us were born in North Carolina and have lived near relatives in California. They love traveling to LA, especially when they get a chance to spend time with Uncle Walter and Aunt Carol.

Issy and Dan (Naomi's parents) as well Allain and Shannen (her aunt and uncle here on Oahu), and her cousin Alex and aunt Estelle (also here on island) and Alex's fiance Rylen have also been super warm and welcoming and they thank you.

Naomi's sister/maid of honor and her husband greeted Derek as family quickly, they have stayed with them in Seattle many times and Derek is excited to now be an Uncle to their daughter, something as an only child he had no idea he'd even have the chance to

be.

This couple’s relationship was built on adventure initially. One of the first things they

connected over in the first few minutes of meeting was a love of travel and experiencing

other cultures and the urge to do more in their lives. Surprises, good and bad, along the

adventure routes and navigating and enjoying them definitely brought them together.

Whether it's out in the Mohave desert, downtown LA, or browsing Netflix in their living room they are able to explore and experience the world with a sense of adventure, childlike wonder, and fun if they're doing it together and feed off each other's energy while doing so.

As you read about their "story" on-line, their first date wasn't really planned, they met and then that became the first date. The first in a long series of being in the moment and improvising. Because Derek was leaving only a month after they met and Naomi was spending 10 days out of town in that month, they really had to make the most of the time to see if this was real or not; they even did a 5 days travel trip to San Francisco only a month after meeting.

I asked Derek to Describe Naomi:

She's the sweetest person he’s ever met. Kind, caring, selfless, conscientious of everyone

and everything, and incredibly empathetic. She allows him to to be himself without judgement which is just so important.

She is incredible at being creative and the arts in general. You'll see it here at the wedding. I was really impressed with her planning. The decorations, panels of linen, lights, the lace on the placemats in the center of the tables that she sewed on, the hundreds of paper cranes strung together, all of it her. She even added a lacy decoration and wax stamp to every invitation, after enhancing the colors with fine tip pens and pencils. Naomi also “painted” “the Ancestor Tree” on their wedding guestbook, that way everyone gets to sign their “Family Tree”.

Instead of saying the vows out loud they put them in a box with a wine bottle, sealed up, and to be opened and read every year on the anniversary and even updated. Not sure we want to do that, but Naomi has A LOT of performance anxiety and not sure she's going to be able to speak much on the Hula Mound so we might want to do something like this.

Their families play a great importance in their lives. Just like Derek, I have a connection with Naomi coming from a military background.

The night of Eric & Katelyn’s wedding, Derek said “I Love You”….and Congratulations on your 5 yr anniversary trip.

Derek is genuine, honest, compassionate and truthful … Its something Naomi never came across until now. Their deep rooted values, are always spot on in-line with each other. They are incredibly different & independent. They process information differently; his is all text. More black & white; a righty.  His creativity is music playing the Base and other instruments. Naomi is an artist through and through. She processes information visually. She’s Left-handed; but w/ some ambidexterity. She can write w/ both hands. However, Strength & sports she’s more of a righty. Precision & accuracy is more her left. She has spent years in gymnastics and she coached gymnastics for about 9.5 years as well; Math and Numbers is more Naomi; Where Derek is more on words & writing, and trivia. Writing is not her forte, she’s terrible at grammar & spelling. However, they are both very detailed and analytical in different ways.

How did Derek Propose marriage? Like their first date, or asking Naomi to move in with him, neither was really planned at all! Derek had plans, even how he would sneak a photographer to the right spot and thought that spot would be at the top of a steep hike in Big Sur with an amazing view that they love. But executing a complex plan involving other people and hidden motives just isn't their style. So in an amazing twist of fate, the actual engagement was a surprise to both of them.

What started out as Derek showing some friends around the beautiful winery/vineyard/ranch where he worked, ended up just the two of them, which wasn't the original plan. It was a perfect sunny spring day, they were dressed nice because he had played in a jazz quartet at the mothers day brunch that morning and brought Naomi in as a guest. They drove around the Vineyards, said hi to the farm cats, goats, and horses, and as the sun set just above the hills, they ended up at The Ancestor Tree. Which is the largest Live Oak in the world by width,

circumference, volume, age (600-800 years), height, any way you can measure and its on

top of a steep hill in the middle of the 300 acres of vineyards next to a 2000 acre nature

preserve.

It was almost golden hour, he doesn’t even remember getting down on one knee, and didn’t have a ring yet. Just eye to eye, he asked her if she'd like to get married. The

main photo their site is from that day.

DECLARATION OF INTENT

A successful marriage is not something that just happens. It takes work, it takes patience, and it takes time. It takes a commitment from both of you… a commitment to do whatever it takes to make your relationship thrive and not just simply survive.

Derek, will you take Naomi to be your lawfully wedded wife and travel the rest of life’s road with her? Will you love her, laugh with her, comfort her, honor and protect her, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

I do.

Naomi, will you take Derek to be your lawfully wedded Husband and travel the rest of life’s road with him? Will you love him, laugh with him, comfort him, honor and protect him, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

I do.

EXCHANGE OF VOWS

Derek and Naomi, the symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this – is my husband, this – is my wife.

Say written vows here (Naomi)

I, Naomi, choose you, Derek In the presence of our friends and families, To be my husband and partner From this day forward; To love you, To be a comfort and safe haven in your life, To hold you close, To listen deeply when you speak, To uphold you with my strength, To weigh the effects of the words I speak And the things I do, To never take you for granted, And to always give thanks For your presence in my life.

Say written vows here (Derek)

I, Derek, choose you, Naomi In the presence of our friends and families, To be my wife and partner From this day forward; To love you, To be a comfort and safe haven in your life, To hold you close, To listen deeply when you speak, To uphold you with my strength, To weigh the effects of the words I speak And the things I do, To never take you for granted, And to always give thanks For your presence in my life.

RING EXCHANGE

This is the point in the ceremony when people talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, having no beginning and no end. But we all know that these rings have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the earth. Metals are liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees. The hot metal is forged, cooled, and then painstakingly polished. Something beautiful made from raw elements.

Love is like that. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It is the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.

The promises which you have spoken to each other today are inscribed forever in your minds, in your hearts. But words are fleeting so let these rings serve as a reminder of the feelings you have in your hearts at this very moment.

Derek Repeat after me….With this ring, I am giving you my promise, to always love you, cherish you, honor you, and comfort you. I promise that I will love you, and keep my heart open to you, all the days of my life.

Naomi, repeat after me…With this ring, I am giving you my promise, to always love you, cherish you, honor you, and comfort you. I promise that I will love you, and keep my heart open to you, all the days of my life.

DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE

Derek and Naomi, no one but you can declare yourselves married. You have begun it here today in speaking your vows before your family and friends and you will do it again in the days and years to come, standing by each other, sharing all that is sweet and bitter in life. Each tender act, each loving word will be the declaration of what was made here today.

Therefore, it is my joyful responsibility to officially acknowledge your union as “Husband and Wife”. You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my privilege to present to you….

Mr & Mrs Derek Cohen-Cruz