William Edward Adams

— Invocation —

Mawwage! (Clears Throat)

Marriage is what brings us together today. Marriage, that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream!

Parker and Erin have come here in the presence of God and their loved ones to make a commitment to each other based on that most mysterious of all emotions: Love. And we are all here to witness their union and share our love.

You don’t have to have a ceremony to have a marriage. So why do we do it? The marriage ceremony has been an important feature across nearly every culture, religion, generation, and society. Of all the important moments that happen in our lives, this one is regarded so critical, we acknowledge its special status by sharing it with others. Why this moment?

Because despite all of our differences, love is what we all share. It’s our one universal truth. No matter who we are, where we’ve come from, what we believe, what gender we are, or how we identify, we know this one thing: love is what we’re doing right. That’s why you both are standing here.

And that’s why you all are here to watch them stand up here. We have all loved in our lifetimes, and in this moment, we’re reminded that the ability to love is the very best part of our humanity.

Scripture commands us to “Show love in everything you do.” (1COR 16:14) The covenant of marriage was established by God to join together a two people in love and prosperity, so they might weather the ups and downs of life with a constant friend, and build a family that’s made strong and joyful in faith and love.

That word…Love…is potent.

I fear we trivialize the word. For me to describe how I feel about pizza, Star Trek, and Little Debbie’s Snack Cakes using the same word I use to describe how I feel about my children seems almost blasphemous.

Fortunately, poets and songwriters and script writers understand love and have a mastery of language to help us understand love.

The Lads from Liverpool promise Love is all you need; Maybe not all, but it’s certainly the best starting point.

Queen calls it a crazy little thing, and it is that.

Love, TRUE love, is a mysterious concept. It’s not a rational decision; it’s a realization. I guess that’s why we say we “Fall in…” love.

Mr. Twig, from South Park (I kid you not), put it beautifully, “Love isn’t a decision. It’s a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical.”

And no disrespect to my beloved Mr. Cougar Hyphen Mellencamp, but sometimes your lover WILL drive you crazy. If they didn’t, it would mean you didn’t care.

Erin and I came down the aisle with music from Peter Gabriel, the Book of Love. The lyrics say:

The book of love is long and boring

No one can lift the damn thing

It’s full of charts and facts and figures

And instructions for dancing

The lyricist, Stephin Merritt, is telling us that being in love is complicated; it leads to conflict and compromise and decisions and sacrifice. His point is married life will not always be easy or exciting. But there is dancing (metaphorical for some of us) to make it all worth it.

There will be difficulties, but you’ll be OK, because as Ted Lasso told us “If you care about someone, and you got a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothing you can’t do together.”

And the wise Col. Sherman Potter (M*A*S*H)counseled, “Listen, when you’re in love, you’re always in trouble. There’s only two things you can do about it: either stop loving them, or love them a whole lot more.”

In good times and in bad.

A lot of work went into planning this beautiful ceremony. Yet the work is just beginning. In his poem, “The Art of a Good Marriage,” Wilferd Arlan Peterson reminds us that a good marriage doesn’t just happen; one must be created. In marriage, the little things are the big things; like never being too old to hold hands – and remembering to say, “I love you,” at least once a day. It also takes patience, kindness… and fighting the urge to respond when it’s best to keep your mouth closed.

When turbulence occurs, you’ll work through it as partners. And you’ll remember the love you feel for each other at this moment in time.

Because as Jim Halpert, a leading authority on love, told Dwight,

“All I know is that every time I’ve been faced with a tough decision, there’s only one thing that outweighs every other concern — one thing that will make you give up on everything you thought you knew. Every instinct. Every rational calculation. Love… No matter what happens, you gotta forget about all the other stuff.”

In terms the two of you will understand, because you have each other’s love, you don’t always have to roll a twenty.

You’re rolling two D20, and a combined ten or higher will get you through.

Let’s proceed to the important stuff…

— Declaration of Intent —

Parker and Erin, if you would join hands and face each other to declare your intent to each other.

Parker, please repeat after me.

"I, Parker, take you, Erin, to be my wife,

to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better, for worse... for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health... to love and to cherish,

until we are parted by death.

This is my solemn vow."

Erin, please repeat after me.

"I, Erin, take you, Parker, to be my husband,

to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better, for worse... for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health... to love and to cherish,

until we are parted by death.

This is my solemn vow."

— Vow Exchange —

Erin and Parker have prepared their own vows for this moment.

Erin, please share your heart with Parker…

Parker, please share your heart with Erin…

— Ring Exchange —

Parker and Erin have chosen rings to exchange with each other. The wedding ring is a symbol of eternity. It is an outward sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two hearts in endless love. As a token of your love and desire to be forever united in heart and soul, you will now exchange rings.

(Best Man), please give Parker Erin’s ring... Parker, as you place this ring on Erin’s finger, please repeat after me.

“Erin, I give you this ring...

as a symbol of my love, commitment, and devotion.

With this ring, I thee wed...

and pledge you my love, now and forever.

With no take backs.”

(MoH), please give Erin Parker’s ring... Erin, as you place this ring on Parker’s finger, please repeat after me.

“Parker, I give you this ring...

as a symbol of my love, commitment, and devotion.

With this ring, I thee wed...

and pledge you my love, now and forever.

With no take backs.”

— Pronouncement —

It is love that brought the two of you here today, and in the presence of those who love you dearly, you have exchanged commitments, vows, and rings.

By the authority vested in me by the State of Texas and the Internet’s leading provider of wedding officiant credentials, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal you marriage with a kiss!

Presentation of the Newlyweds

As Ted Mosby, THE greatest expert on the subject, said, “Kids, Love is the best thing we do.”

Parker and Erin, please turn and see the faces of those who love you so much.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Parker and Erin Carnahan.

Please, share your love with them.