Robert Joseph Janke

Introduction:

Friends and family, gremlins, ghouls, and ghosts, and all of you lurking in the shadows… I bid you welcome.

We’re here today to celebrate the love of Johannah and Anthony, as they join together in marriage for all eternity.

Each of you have played an important role in Johannah and Anthony lives. You’ve been their confidants and their co-conspirators, you’ve witnessed their personal victories and shared in their adventures. You're all on the top of their ‘call in a crisis’ list, the people they know they can count on no matter what, whether it’s a zombie attack, an alien invasion, a demon possession, or a wedding... They love you and they’re so happy you’re here!

Marriage might be one of the scariest plot twists of all, because it takes vulnerability, trust, and letting your partner really see you for who you are. There’s risk around every corner. But it also brings the biggest reward –  a lifelong partnership, true and lasting love, and a hell of a lot of fun. 

Johannah and Anthony, your fearlessness in life and love will serve you well.

So let’s get you married!

Declaration of intent:

Do you, Johannah and Anthony, promise to honor each other as husband and wife, to walk side by side and support each other from this day forward, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love, and to cherish each other, even if you both go a little mad sometimes?

(They say “we do”)

Exchanging vows:

(To Anthony) face Johannah and repeat after me:

With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With a candle, I will light your darkness. I ask you do be mine.

(To Johannah) face Anthony repeat after me:

With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With a candle, I will light your darkness. I ask you do be mine.

Exchanging rings:

(Speaking to Johannah)

Do you, Johannah with this ring take Anthony to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death or zombies do you part? (She says “I do”)

(Speaking to Anthony)

Do you, Anthony with this ring take Johannah to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death or zombies do you part? (He says “I do”)

Closing words and blessings:

To paraphrase a translucent troublemaker: it’s a stroke of luck, you two meeting. Alone, there’s so little you can do. But with an accomplice, a thousand things are possible!

May you always have a friend in each other. Someone to adventure with, to build a life with, and to play with forever, and ever, and ever…

Pronouncement & Introduction of the newlywed’s:

By the power vested in me by the State Pennsylvania and The American Marriage Ministries, I pronounce you Husband and Wife.

You may now kiss.

(I GESTURES TOWARD THE COUPLE TO MAKE THE INTRODUCTION)

Friends, loved ones, heeere’s… The Newlyweds!