Frank Alexander Wood

Family, Friends, and those who aren't quite sure why they're here, welcome and please be seated.

*(allow people to sit down)*

Briana and Nicholas have requested a short wedding ceremony, and I don't like to disappoint!

It's traditional for the officiant to give a speech about love and commitment, and two hearts becoming one. Medically speaking, this is extremely dangerous.

In the interest of time, I will say this:

Love, compassion, friendship, playfulness, and stuff like that. Try your best to do all those things, and have all these things as much as you can.

*(Bri and Nick link their pinkies)*

Briana and Nicholas, you are about to make your promises to one another. You will find as you live by these vows over the years, investing your time, love, and your commitment to one another, the happy times of your life will be twice as joyous because you'll share these joys in marriage.

Nicholas, will you take Briana, whose hand you hold, choosing her alone to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you live with her in the true state of matrimony? Will you love her and comfort her through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honoring her at all times, and being faithful to her?

*(wait for confirmation)*

Briana, will you take Nicholas, whose hand you hold, choosing him alone to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you live with him in the state of true matrimony? Will you love him and comfort him through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honoring him at all times, and being faithful to him?

*(wait for confirmation)*

Rings, much like donuts, trampolines, and hoola-hoops, are circles. In other words, I'm saying these rings are not only a symbol of your love for one another, but a reminder. A reminder to be sweet, have fun, and make sure to jump on trampolines every once in a while. Together.

The couple will now exchange vows and rings.

*(Bri and Nick exchange vows and rings)*

I understand why Briana and Nicholas were in a rush. You can tell they are so in love, that they wanted to be married ASAP! I get it.

But in this mad dash world, with thousands of things demanding your attention 24/7, don't forget to slow down every once in a while. Enjoy eachother - and your new, wonderful life together.

By the power vested in me by American Marriage Ministries, and the State of New York, I am pleased to officially pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Rumsmoke!

Nick, you may now kiss the bride!

*(Applause/Recessional)*