Shirley Elizabeth Cole

Hello everyone! It’s my pleasure to welcome you to the wedding of Michael and Juanita. Please take a moment to silence your cell phones or other noisy electronics. Nobody wants to hear Baby Got Back in the middle of the ceremony.

Welcome everyone to this incredibly happy occasion.

What greater thing for two people than to feel they are joined together, to strengthen each other, to rest on each other in sorrow, to help each other in need, to share joy, and to be one with each other – whatever life has to offer.

This is a special time of celebration that these two will long remember, and because of this, they are thankful you are here today to share their joy.

Today, family and friends are gathered to celebrate your union. Today we are privileged to witness two loving individuals commit to sharing a lifetime together.

Thank all of you for being here and now let’s begin.

[Michael] - [Juanita], what you have accomplished here today is no small feat.

Your journey began way before you sent out the invitations, chose this venue or even decided to spend the rest of your lives together. Your journey began the moment you first met.

You two have come a long way. You took the time to learn what makes each other smile on days that are hard, what makes each other laugh when all you want to do is pull your hair out, and the best way to support each other when you figured out that life isn’t what you expected.

Marriage brings hard days, just as they bring beautiful ones. This day is a reminder of what your love has already accomplished, and the endless possibilities of what it can be in the future.

[Michael/Juanita, please take each other’s hands:

Michael, repeat after me.

Babe, I want your worst—give me your bad hair days/ your burnt toast/ your lost keys,/ your lost receipts/, give me your everyday/, and I will give you my love to make it alright."

Juanita, repeat after me:

Michael I vow/ to laugh for real/, at all your jokes/ no matter how corny they are./ I love you that much."

Listening: Listening to each other is key. Just because you don’t agree with her opinion or his opinion doesn’t align with yours, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Both of you have opinions that matter.

Compromise: Compromise is extremely important. Standing down does not reflect weakness. It means you care about your partner enough to give a little to gain a lot.

Value: Valuing what one another brings to the table is vital. She might bring one thing to the table, and you might bring something totally different. Talk about what you both need to make your unit whole.

Communication. Allow each other to speak with ears wide open. Bite your tongue and bookmark the things you may not agree with. Listen to each other and let each other know you don’t agree, but “I do want to hear your side.”.

Finally, Respect, Trust, and Boundaries.

Some couples feel more pressured about the things that make a committed relationship work AFTER the ring. If you’ve been together as long as you two have, you’ve already committed to your relationship before I throw these words in your face.

NOTHING HAS CHANGED EXCEPT THE LEGALITY. YOU KNOW EACH OTHER INTIMATELY. YOU PAY BILLS TOGETHER. YOU TEACH EACH OTHER’S KIDS.

TODAY GIVES ME THE AUTHORITY TO KICK YOU IN THE A$$ IF YOU MESS UP WHAT YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN DOING.

VOWS BY COUPLE!!!

Michael, repeat after me: [Juanita], I swear to you/ that I will dedicate my life / from this day forward/ to filling our days with beauty and laughter./ I take you today as my partner/ my confidant/ my other half/ and I will love you for the rest of my life.

Juanita, repeat after me.

[Michael], I swear to you/ that I will dedicate my life / from this day forward/ to filling our days with beauty and laughter. / I take you today as my partner/ my confidant/ my other half/ and I will love you for the rest of my life.

ME: To audience: [Michael] and [Juanita] have chosen these rings to represent the unbreakable circle of life and love.

Exchange of Rings.

Please place them on each other’s ring fingers and repeat after me.

Michael/Juanita repeat after me together.

I give you this ring/ to remind you of this day/ while in front of our family and friends/ we vow that our love can overcome all things/ that our love unites, inspires and celebrates/ and will continue do so for the rest of our lives.

Juanita/Michael, do you take one another as partners, from this day forward, as husband and wife?

Please yell a hearty “We do!”

(Couple says, “We do!”)

Me to the audience: And to everyone here, do you promise to stand by this couple, to remind them of their vows, and to act as an example of love and family? Please yell a very loud “We do!”

(Crowd says, “We do!”)

[Michael] - [Juanita], it is with such joy that I now send you out into the world to enjoy your new life.

By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts, I now, for the first time, pronounce you husband and wife.

Now kiss and let us go celebrate!