Todd Joseph Tschiggfrie

Family, friends, others who are not quite sure why they’re here, welcome, and please be seated quickly. Anthony and Hannah have requested a short wedding ceremony and as I don’t want to disappoint, let’s not dilly dally! This is not the beginning of a new relationship but an acknowledgement of the next chapter in their lives, joined together in unholy matrimony

It’s traditional for the officiant, me, to give a speech about love and commitment and two hearts becoming one, which is medically speaking extremely dangerous, but in the interest of time let me just say: Love, compassion, friendship, playfulness, kindness, stuff like that etc... Today you not only marry the right person, you also commit to being the right partner, the one with whom the other can stand and face the world. So, try your best to do all those things as much as you can.

Do you Anthony take Hannah to be your wife, to love her for life and never think twice? To wipe her tears and dissolve hear fears? To have and to hold in sickness and in health? To forever love hopelessly and to fall in love endlessly?

Tony: I do

Do you Hannah take Anthony to be your husband, to accept all his insecurities and to love all of the impurities? To love and to cherish until you both parish? For better or worse to put each other first?

Hannah: I do

Now that you have agreed that this is your person, to cherish and hold and all the other things they say in the movies, what do you say we zoom past all the boring stuff and get right to the rings?

Rings are circles, so are donuts, hula hoops and trampolines. What I’m trying to say is let these rings, not only be a symbol of your love for one another but also a reminder to be sweet, have fun and make sure to jump on trampolines every once in a while, together.

Anthony, please place the ring on Hannah’s hand and repeat after me:

I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I ask you to wear it as a sign to the world that you are my wife.

Hannah, please place the ring on Anthony’s hand and repeat after me:

I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I ask you to wear it as a sign to the world that you are my husband.

I can understand why Anthony and Hannah were in a rush. You can tell they are so in love they just wanted to be married ASAP! I get it. But in this mad dash world with thousands of things demanding your attention 24/7, don’t forget to slow down every once in a while. Enjoy each other – and your new, wonderful life together. Look at one another and remember this moment in time. For after today you say to the world, “This is my husband.” “This is my wife.”

And now family and friends, by the authority vested in me by the American Marriage Ministries yada yada yada, I present to you Mr & Mrs Roberson.

You may kiss the bride.