Elizabeth Jean Bales

Welcome Statement

Ladies and gents, we’re here today because Will and Kristina have said to one another, “Honey, I love you so much I’ve just gotta get the government involved!” Let's be honest, that is surprising for Will.

Speech / Sermon / Introduction

Seriously, though. Thank you all so much for joining us since we all came together anyways. Will and Kristina have asked that this be a fun ceremony, so we’re here to have a good time these next few minutes while we get this hitching done! This thing isn’t gonna start itself, so let’s get to it!

We hold marriage up as a tradition in this country, and we’ve debated over it a lot in the last few decades, but at the end of the day, why do we do it? I made the joke in the intro about loving each other so much we’re going to get the government involved, but is that all it really is? Of course not! It’s a tradition, yes, but we change traditions all the time, and we keep the essence of those traditions alive in their new forms.

Ahh… There it is. The crux of why we do this marriage thing. Sure, it’s a lot of work. Sure it takes a lot of compromises. But at the end of the day, when you’re married, you’ve got someone to come home to. You’ve got someone who’s promised to love you no matter how smelly your socks get, or no matter how bad your mood is, or no matter what the universe decided to drop on your head this week. And you’ve got someone to have spaghetti fights in the kitchen with. Someone to laugh at the same silly inside jokes with. After a while, you’ll find you’ve even got someone you share a little inside language with.

We do marriage because it helps to have someone around to walk through life with.

Will, Kristina, I can’t think of two people more suited to life together than you. I’ve seen that your marriage will be built on a foundation of love and trust, and that’s the best shot any of us can give it. You’ll need to depend on that foundation of trust and love throughout your marriage. You’ll need to be more patient than you’ve ever had to be before. You’ll experience higher highs, and lower lows than ever before, but now you’ll be in it together - for good.

With that in mind, let’s check some legal boxes, shall we?

Declaration of Intent

Will, do you take Kristina to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you honor and cherish her love, trust, and commit to her, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw at you both until death do you part?

( I do)

Kristina, do you take Will to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you honor and cherish him love, trust, and commit to him, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw at you both until death do you part?

( I do)

Vow/Ring Exchange

Okay, Will, now it’s time to put a ring on it. Repeat after me, please. Kristina, I give you this ring as a symbol that I will love you, honor you, cherish you, and that I’ll let you have the remote every once in a while, and I’ll try to clean up after myself.

Alright, Kristina, it’s your turn. Repeat after me, please. Will, I give you this ring as a symbol that I will love you, honor you, cherish you, and that I’ll try not to nag you about spending too much time with Dustin, and I may even make you dinner once in a while.

Pronouncement

Well, after that touching exchange, I guess there’s only one thing left to do, and that’s for me to do my part! By the power vested in me by the state of South Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife!

Well, go on, kiss!!!!

Ladies and gents, it gives me great pleasure to present to you Mr. And Mrs. Kimbrell!!!!