Jared Ford Barnes

Welcome everyone. Thank you for being here. We are gathered here today to celebrate the love that CHET and ALISA have for each other, and to recognize and witness their decision to get married and journey forward in their lives as husband and wife.

I know that ALISA and CHET are grateful for each of you, their family and friends, that have traveled both short and long distances to be here today as they enter into the sacred and joyous covenant of marriage. I also know that CHET and ALISA are very grateful for many loved ones that unfortunately can’t be here to celebrate in person today, but are thinking of them from afar as well as beyond the veil.

I am thankful to ALISA and CHET for the honor and opportunity to officiate at their wedding. As most of you probably know, ALISA is my younger sister and CHET has been a best friend and a brother to me for the past 30+ years of my life. So we have some history together, and much more yet to write beginning today.

Before this ceremony becomes all about CHET and ALISA though, I want to first acknowledge and publicly give thanks on behalf of us all to God for His creations and blessings. Second, I wish to recognise the grandparents and parents of the bride and groom, whose love initially made the lives of CHET and ALISA possible, but also whose enduring love and support has blessed and continues to bless their lives. Finally, thanks to all of the friends, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, of the bride and groom, of which there are too many to name, for contributing to making their lives, and especially today, a real party! Now let’s get on with it.

CHET and ALISA, in each wedding that I conduct, I like to share some words of wisdom in relatable language that the couple can understand. I hope that you can just bear with me for a few minutes to listen to what I have to say.

Being married is like trying to navigate and run a new and never ending river. “There’s an undeniable fact that you are all alone in a boat on the river. You know, the river loves to be loved. But the bottom line is that you're expendable.”

Oh, I’m so sorry! I am not reading from the right notes at all. That’s from a recent funeral service. Let’s try again!

Being married is like trying to navigate and run a new and never ending river. You are in a boat together, you each want to be loved and the bottom line is you’re incredible.

CHET and ALISA, there are stretches of flat water, eddies and undercurrents, rapids with waves, drops, and holes, both small and large obstacles to maneuver which change depending on the flow and time. You are paddling downriver, yet each of you is making choices, moment by moment, that will either help you stay afloat and upright or cause you to lose your rhythm, your balance, or your way.

While you are two separate individuals, in marriage, you paddle one boat together. There are times when you can sit back and float and take in the scenery. Enjoy those stretches, but don’t fall asleep in the sun and get burnt. From your previous experience, you know that you will need to stay awake and attentive in order to listen and read the signs of the river ahead.

Now, CHET, I want you to close your eyes for a minute and to imagine the perfect river boat. You can open them now. Was it a raft or at least a tandem sit on top kayak? If it was, that’s going to work well for you.

Now I want you both to know that there isn’t going to be a perfect boat for this marriage ahead. You’re going to need to be flexible and probably make several adjustments, modify or accessorize your boat from time to time to adapt to the current and conditions.

Keeping with the river analogy - while the water immediately in front of you may presently look or seem somewhat familiar to you, each river flows differently. This river that you are putting onto today is exciting but much ahead remains unexplored. You have the opportunity to discover the side canyons, name the rapids and landmark features, and be your own guides and best companions.

Now, importantly, know that you love each other and are prepared with all the right gear to survive and thrive on this adventurous expedition together.

First, you have a paddle. The paddle represents work and commitment. Communication is going to be key so that you don’t paddle ineffectively or spin in circles. Learn each other's abilities and strengths and focus on those rather than any deficiencies or weaknesses.

Second, you have a life jacket or PFD. A life jacket if properly worn keeps you afloat in both calm and rough waters. Be a personal floatation device to each other, providing support and buoying each other up in both good and challenging times ahead.

Third, you have a rescue throw bag. This is used on the river to rescue a swimmer, and in some cases, to unpin a boat. If one of you is ever swimming in swift or turbulent water, turn towards and reach out to the other with empathy and compassion to provide a place of safety and security. There is no need to hide any part of yourself for fear of being judged or rejected. You can just be together from moment to moment, believing that those moments will thread together into eternity. This will ensure that you do not drift apart, get disoriented or lost.

Fourth, you have a patch and repair kit. This is essential for repairing leaky boats. It is unavoidable to experience some wear and tear in your marriage. Therefore it will be important to have courage and integrity to admit fault, say sorry and forgive each other as often as needed to keep your love afloat.

Fifth, you have a first aid kit. When one of you is injured or hurt, be tender and take care of each other’s wellbeing. And CHET, remember to consult and follow ALISA’s expert medical opinion and advice for the most effective recovery and healing.

Sixth, every serious (and even wannabe) boater must have a good river knife. A knife is an essential tool for spreading peanut butter, cutting salami, opening cans of baked beans and bottles of ginger beer. But remember, a dull blade is dangerous. For your knife to be useful, it must be kept sharpened. Similarly, don’t let your marriage get dull. Keep it sharp by continuing to court, make time for each other and have fun.

Finally, it is wise to consult good guide books which impart knowledge and wisdom from the experience of fellow river runners. You have scriptures, loving parents and other sages which have and will continue to provide you with useful information from time to time. As previously stated, your river and its flow and conditions will be unique to you in many ways. Luckily, however, I have fortunately found 2 books which may be of good use to you.

The first book is titled ‘The Ultimate Guide Book’. Funnily, it is authored by you (CHET & ALISA) but it’s pages are not yet filled. I would like to briefly read the inscription found inside the front cover. [OPEN AND READ]

The next book is titled ‘The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook’. It provides expert advice for extreme situations - such as escaping quicksand, fending off a shark or surviving if your parachute fails to open. Hopefully, you will not find the need to use this book very often. However, just in case, I have bookmarked the “How to Navigate without GPS” chapter as a suggested place to begin your reading.

In closing, CHET and ALISA, today we are gathered to witness your marriage and to share in the joy of this occasion, which should be one of the most memorable and happy days of your life. From this day forward, you should come closer together than ever before. Every gesture, word, expression, and action, and those you withhold or omit, will determine the quality of both your river and marriage experiences together. It is through loving, kindness, caring, and sharing that a successful marriage is created. A good marriage takes patience, dedication, humor, and forgiveness. You keep your love alive through the choices you make moment by moment, day after day, and year after year. Through practice, you learn how to love yourselves and each other with devotion and freedom.

Are you now ready to go forward and be married?

WEDDING VOWS

Now I’ll have you repeat your wedding vows. These vows are your solemn promise to one another. Repeat them with the love and sincerity you feel and then remember them and live by them.

CHET, please repeat after me.

I, CHET OLSON, take you ALISA BARNES, to be my lawful wedded wife , and I promise before these witnesses to be a loving and faithful husband. To honor and care for you with tenderness and affection, and forsaking all others, I promise to keep myself only unto you.

ALISA, please repeat after me.

I, ALISA BARNES, take you CHET OLSON, to be my lawful wedded husband, and I promise before these witnesses to be a loving and faithful wife. To honor and care for you with tenderness and affection, and forsaking all others, I promise to keep myself only unto you.”

RINGS

CHET, please place the ring on the third finger of ALISA’s left hand and repeat after me. I give you this ring as a sign of my vow, and with all that I am and all that I have, I will love and honor you.

ALISA please place the ring on the front belt loop of CHET’s pants and repeat after me. I give you this ring as a sign of my vow, and with all that I am and all that I have, I will love and honor you.

These rings are a token of the marriage covenant between you. They mark the beginning of a long journey together. A journey filled with wonder, surprises, laughter and joy. Let the precious metal be an emblem of your love and a circle symbol of its endless nature.

PRONOUNCEMENT

For in as much as you, CHET OLSON and ALISA BARNES, have made these promises before these witnesses and pledged yourselves to one another, by the authority vested in me by the Law of the State of Utah and the American Marriage Ministries, I now pronounce you husband and wife, lawfully and legally wed.

You may kiss each other as husband and wife.

Ladies and Gentlemen. It is my honor and privilege to introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Olson!