Vanessa Allen LaRotonda

INVOCATION

Hello and welcome! We are here today because Ann convinced Alex to include you all in this ceremony. But more importantly, we are here because we have the honor to witness the joining of their lives together and celebrate with Ann and Alex as they cross the threshold from being engaged to being married.

Today is a celebration. A celebration of love, of commitment, of friendship, of family, and of two people who are in it for forever.

The marriage ceremony has been an important feature across nearly every culture, religion, generation, and society. We have thousands of important moments that happen throughout our lives, but this one is regarded as one so critical, we acknowledge its special status by sharing it with others.

Why this moment? Because despite all of our differences, love is what we all share. It’s the great unifier – our one universal truth. That no matter who we are, where we’ve come from, what we believe, we know this one thing: love is what we’re doing right.

That’s why you are both standing here. And that’s why you all are here to watch them stand up here. We have all loved in our lifetimes, and in this moment, we’re reminded that the ability to love is the very best part of our humanity.

All of us here today have our own love stories. Some are short, others long. Some are yet unwritten, while others are just getting to the good part. There are chapters in all of our stories that are sad or disappointing – and others that are exciting and full of adventure.

Alex and Ann's love story started 7 years ago when Alex, new to Louisville, Kentucky, met Ann when out one night with his friends, continued a few days later over some BoomBozz pizza, and then flourished from there. Through the years together they have encouraged each other to grow in ways neither thought they could, trusted each other unendingly, and showed each other a way of living the other had never experienced. The love of their dogs, George and Linus, surviving Ann's law school years, making a three-day trip to Ireland (Alex's idea), moving from Louisville to NC and back (each time loading up a UHaul trailer and hoping it made it through the mountains, buying a house together, supporting each other through career ups, downs, and changes, all built up to Alex proposing in the first floor hallway of their house before they even had coffee.

That brings them here, a time to pause, look back, and smile at all the memories. And a time to look ahead to all the moments that are still to come. I’m here – we’re all here – because we want those moments for you. We’re here to hope with you, to support you, to be proud of you, and to remind you that love isn’t happily ever after, love is the experience of writing your story. It’s not one moment – not even this moment. It’s every moment.

Big ones like saying “I love you,” moving in together, getting engaged – but mostly a million little ones that come in between the big moments. Falling asleep next to one another, making dinner together, learning how to drive an industrial mower, spending holidays with your families, getting a big hug when you get home from work.

These everyday moments fuse together into one big experience. And even though this experience is so incredible, words fail us when we try and explain it. That’s just the way it is with love – it’s meant to be felt, not described. But trying to describe love is one of our favorite pastimes. We use the words we have to write stories, and poems, and songs about love. And even though we describe love in different ways – and even though love can look different from one person to the next – we all know it when we see it. And we see it here.

At this time we are going to hear some words about love from Ann's sister, Kate, and Alex's sister, Lauren.

Lauren, if you would please read "I carry your heat with me (I carry it in)" by E. E. Cummings.

Kate if you would please read "Union" by Robert Fulghum.

VOW EXCHANGE

You fell in love by chance, even though Ann wore some practical but not very attractive shoes that first night they met, but you’re here today because you’re making a choice. You both are choosing each other. You’ve chosen to be with someone who enhances you, who makes you think, makes you smile, and makes every day brighter. You’re about to make promises to each other that you intend to keep. You’re going to vow to take care of each other, to stand up for one another, and find happiness in the other. There’s a simple premise to each of these promises: you’re vowing to be there. You’re teaming up and saying to the other, “Every experience I am going to have, I want you to be a part of.”

Alex, please take Ann's hands, look her in the eye, and repeat after me.

I take you, Ann, to be my wife, loving you now and as you grow. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart; when our lives are at peace and when they are in turmoil; when I am proud of you and when I am challenged by you; in times of rest and in times of work. I will honor your goals and dreams and help you fulfill them. From the depth of my being, I promise to love you unconditionally and to cherish you through whatever life may bring.

Ann, please repeat after me.

I take you, Alex, to be my husband, loving you now and as you grow. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart; when our lives are at peace and when they are in turmoil; when I am proud of you and when I am challenged by you; in times of rest and in times of work. I will honor your goals and dreams and help you fulfill them. From the depth of my being, I promise to love you unconditionally and to cherish you through whatever life may bring.

RING WARMING CEREMONY

Thank you for sharing your vows with us.

Having this love in their hearts for each other Alex and Ann have chosen to exchange rings as a symbol of their vows. The wedding rings are the most visible sign of the bond these two people are about to make. A commitment to life, to each other and to the future.

What I now ask Alex and Ann’s families to do is to warm these rings by passing them down the row. As you hold them in your hands, pause for a moment, and make your wishes for the couple and for their future before you pass them on to the next person. These rings will not only be a gift from one to another but will contain your love, wisdom, and support for their union to keep it strong throughout the years.

**rings start making their way through your guests**

RING EXCHANGE AND I DO'S

Alex and Ann, you have just made promises of love and devotion to each other. Your rings are symbols of the those vows you have just spoken. Words are intangible and difficult to hold onto, so the rings become a vessel which will hold the words you have shared with one another. The words of loving and cherishing,” for better and for worse,” honor and respecting,” are now encased in the rings. It is a physical way to hold on to the promises made to you.

When you first put on a new ring it feels unnatural. You feel the weight and you hear it clank against objects. It’s a foreign object on your hand. But then there is a shift that happens. You become comfortable with the ring. It begins to mold your finger and feel comfortable until the day it just becomes a part of your hand. The ring is no longer a piece of jewelry that you wear. It becomes an extension of your hand. In other words, you become your ring; you become your vows.

Instead of the ring being only a symbol of the promise to love and cherish, you become the love and you display the action of one who cherishes. You are no longer holding onto promises of sticking around through better and worse, but you begin to live it out. You hold on, you work through. You take on the process of honoring and respecting that you said you would. As you place the rings on each other’s finger, the ring is a symbol, a promise, that one day, many days, many years, you will fulfill.

May I have the rings please?

Alex and Ann, place the rings in your hands, hold them for a moment, close your eyes, and think of all the greatness you wish for your marriage and your future together.

Ann, please place the ring on Alex's finger and repeat after me.

I give you this ring as a sign that I choose you to face all of life's adventures with. Today, tomorrow, always and forever.

Ann, do you take Alex to be your husband, promising to love him, comfort, honor, respect, and care for him for the rest of your life?

Ann: I do

Alex, please take Ann's ring, place it on her finger, and repeat after me.

I give you this ring as a sign that I choose you to face all of life's adventures with. Today, tomorrow, always and forever.

Alex, do you take Ann to be your wife, promising to love her, comfort, honor, respect, and care for her for the rest of your life?

Alex: I do

PRONOUNCEMENT

I leave you with these words of wisdom, life, and love.

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In marriage the “little” things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say, "I love you” at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is standing together and facing the world. It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only marrying the right person — it is being the right partner.

It is my greatest pleasure to say that by the power vested in me by the State of North Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife!

You may share your first married kiss!