Jessenia Deanna Dawson Smith

PLAYFUL CIVIL CEREMONY

Marriage is a bold step into an unknown future. It is risking who we are for the sake of who we can be. In marriage, two lives are intimately shared; and the blending of the two must not diminish either one. Rather, it should enhance the individuality of each partner.

Each of us knows that a marriage is not created by a law or a ceremony; rather it occurs in the hearts of two human beings. It grows out of loving, caring, and sharing ourselves with another. This ceremony is not magic, it will not create a relationship that does not already exist and has not already been celebrated in all the commitments JOSH and CAROL have made to each other, both large and small, in the days since they first met and recognized their connection to one another.

So, in witnessing this ceremony today, we are observing only an outward sign of an inward union that already exists between JOSH and CAROL. This ceremony is a symbol of how far they have come together and a symbol of the promise that they will make to each other to continue to live their lives together and to love each other solely and above all others.

DECLARATION OF INTENT

A successful marriage is not something that just happens. It takes work, it takes patience, and it takes time. It takes a commitment from both of you… a commitment to do whatever it takes to make your relationship thrive and not just simply survive.

JOSH, will you take CAROL to be your lawfully wedded wife and travel the rest of life’s road with her? Will you love her, laugh with her, comfort her, honor and protect her, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

I do.

CAROL, will you take JOSH to be your lawfully wedded Husband and travel the rest of life’s road with him? Will you love him, laugh with him, comfort him, honor and protect him, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

I do.

EXCHANGE OF VOWS

JOSH and CAROL, the symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this – is my husband, this – is my wife.

I, JOSH, choose you, CAROL

To be my wife and partner

From this day forward;

To love you,

To be a comfort and safe haven in your life,

To hold you close,

To listen deeply when you speak,

To uphold you with my strength,

To weigh the effects of the words I speak

And the things I do,

To never take you for granted,

And to always give thanks

For your presence in my life.

I, CAROL, choose you, JOSH

To be my husband and partner

From this day forward;

To love you,

To be a comfort and safe haven in your life,

To hold you close,

To listen deeply when you speak,

To uphold you with my strength,

To weigh the effects of the words I speak

And the things I do,

To never take you for granted,

And to always give thanks

For your presence in my life.

RING EXCHANGE

This is the point in the ceremony when people talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, having no beginning and no end. But we all know that these rings have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the earth. Metals are liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees. The hot metal is forged, cooled, and then painstakingly polished. Something beautiful made from raw elements.

Love is like that. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It is the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.

The promises which you have spoken to each other today are inscribed forever in your minds, in your hearts. But words are fleeting so let these rings serve as a reminder of the feelings you have in your hearts at this very moment.

Now, Repeat after me:

Groom (and then Bride), with this ring I am giving you my promise/to always love you/ cherish you/honor you and comfort you. I promise that I will love you/and keep my heart open to you/all the days of my life.

DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE

JOSH and CAROL, no one but you can declare yourselves married. You have begun it here today in speaking your vows before each other and will do it again in the days and years to come; standing by each other, sharing all that is sweet AND bitter in life. Each tender act, each loving word will be the declaration of what was made here today.

Therefore, it is my joyful responsibility to officially acknowledge your union as “Husband and Wife”. You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.

It is my privilege to present you for the very first time by the power vested in me by the state of Virginia, Mr. & Mrs. Lowe.